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Dare to be free. Free to be me.

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How much is your life shaped by what you 'should' do?
How much does life's conditioning, expectation, sense of responsibility and obligation subtlely control what you end up doing? For most, even when we're awake, it's a good deal. I remember guiding a firewalk once and saying to the group, dare to feel it, dare to be you, dare to express yourself. At which point, one lady stripped off all her clothes and walked naked across the fire. For the whole group, it was a breath-taking, inspirational expression of total freedom…

There's a YOU inside all of this

There is a YOU inside all of this. There is a YOU that is totally free. At a soul level, we are not governed by taboos of what we should and shouldn't be. Laws, regulations, contracts and popular opinion, are all constructs of thought forms solidified like flowing water long since frozen.

Oh sure, there is a part of your soul - a characteristic - that respects others and their truth. I'm not talking about riding rough-shod through other people's energy. Not at all. But in all of us there is something that yearns for the total spontaneity of the moment. Life can't flow when we're loaded with obligatory baggage. Even in relationships, the true self of each person is yearning for the other to be totally liberated…

    "I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human."
    Oriah Mountain Dreamer

So if we allow it to, the path of the soul will cause us to walk directly into each of life's taboos. Then we have an opportunity - a priceless possibility - to say "no more! I'm going to be free and express me, at whatever the apparent cost". When we do so, we peel away that which limits, and just like the metaphoric firewalk lady, the real YOU begins to unveil itself.

Less is more

Possessions of course can also be a heavy constriction on beingness.

In society, personal sense of security often comes from what we own, what we have in the bank and the insurance or retirement policies. Myself I remember thinking this way, that is until benevolently the universe invited me to give everything up. It was a compulsion I felt strongly in my heart and couldn't deny. Pretty quickly everything went, every treasured possession that I'd collected and earned over the years. It left me blessed with a little old hatch-back and what I could fit in the boot.

Contrary to the fears we might have about such vulnerability, I found it totally amazing. I could literally go wherever I felt to go. In so doing, in really going into my feelings and committing totally to following, it was then that I discovered how when in truth, the universe supports our every step.

    "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."
    The Alchemist

I discovered that when being me, and in expressing me, I always had something to give. And when I gave, I always received in return. I discovered how giving and receiving are folds in the same garment. How priceless is that?

Free flowing golden stream

And I discovered the power of the 'golden stream'. Society conditions us to hoard money and resources. It's a consciousness that's saying to the universe… "I don't have enough, I need more for that rainy day". And sure enough, that fear based consciousness creates the very circumstances we're afraid of most - always the experience of lack.

    What I noticed, was that if I truly followed my heart and what I was being invited to do in the moment, which of course involved confronting and peeling back my fears, then there would always be enough. I would always have just enough money - or resources which I could trade - to get the things I needed. Money didn't stay in my wallet, but ran through it like a free flowing golden stream.

Now I am blessed to be living in a wonderful micro community: souls that have gathered together to support one another, to learn, evolve and grow. We have pooled our skills and resources. We are bound together by a common thread - to express and share light - a sense of freedom of being. We are daring to be us. And when a project comes up to do or develop something, somehow, we always find what we need to complete it. Maybe not in the ways we could have imagined, but as we feel our way forwards, the next step always reveals itself. It's just like walking along a carpet of golden light.

A very relaxed grip

Before I close, I should add as an adjunct to my sharing, that I've observed not everyone necessarily needs to give everything up to find total freedom. It all depends on our karma of course. Sometimes we may have something, yet totally know in our hearts that it does not hold us. We don't have to give it up to be free. And we don't have to leave everyone behind to find freedom of expression.

    Ultimately, it's about expressing internal freedom in every eventuality and circumstance. As 'possessions' - temporary gifts from the universe - build in my life once more, I'm watching that I have a very relaxed grip of them.

So I feel for everyone who might feel burdened by the sense of insecurity that our society has created to control people. Having felt the same way for forty years of my life, I can greatly empathise. I know the constricting inner pain it can sometimes be. Yet I've also been blessed to meet many wonderful souls who are courageously working through their stuff, bit-by-bit releasing their baggage and as a result feeling the upwelling freedom that gathers strength through their being. These are extraordinary ordinary people just like you and me.

And when we dare to be free, we find ourselves daring to be us.

Chris

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Chris Bourne's picture

So what inspires you to personal freedom? These days I find myself inspired frequently by music. The right energy connects with a sense of beingness and sets it free. Here's a typical example. I'm not a great favourite of the band Oasis. Yet it seems to me they tended to always convey a sense of personal freedom. That's what I like about this song and how it speaks to me...

someone's picture

Thanks Smile

I just felt to add that for me most of me is not me. And I feel that honoring these aspects of me is crucial in my process. Many times when looking for the real me there is a rejection of myself as I am now. And I say - so what? If I can allow the unreal me to express itself in whatever way it wants, give it its freedom without judgment, restriction, control, and so on, it might also give me the freedom to express other aspects, like the deep inner 'me', the soul.

Another thing is 'pushing' - pushing to be free, pushing to be me, etc.

To me this 'pushing' or struggling to be 'a real boy' don't help at all. In my experience when the time comes to shift, to peel off more stuff, to explore and find deeper levels, then it is just happening. And I just make sure to be aware where I am fighting it and to relax more.

As I experience it, the expression of 'real' does not demand any effort, struggle, conflict, etc. It is just not standing on the way of something that spontaneously arising.

So I am walking on these two legs:

1. On one hand letting go the need to be perfect or real or whatever, letting go the 'spirituality', the lightness, the expansion and all the amazing sensations that are arising when I am connected and being 'real'.

2. On the other hand letting go the denseness, the processing, the 'what's wrong with me', etc, letting go the still distorted part of me.

So when you see somebody walking, you see a constant letting go, detaching from the ground all the time, otherwise - no walking, you will get stuck. The same here. It is about the sensitivity when it's time to step into the lightness and be in peace and freedom and 'real' thing and when to let it go and step into the denseness, dive into life as it is and explore the 'false' aspects.

And none of them should be more preferable, I find. Both deserve their time and attention and love, and both serve the progression, the evolution and reconnection. Without it it just won't be possible.

Some people are trying to be sterile (real, pure, perfect TODAY! hhh) and not to get dirty. But I always say, that all this process is actually about jumping into mud and getting out clean Biggrin

So I don't see our society as wrong or whatever, I see it as a ground with rotten stuff which would allow the growth, out of comparison. It is a great teacher to me and I am grateful for all it has to offer. In my view it is not separate from anything. It serves my process just as well as 'spiritual' stuff. It's just that I am careful not to get lost too much in neither of them. Because frankly, for me neither of them is real, so there is no point in choosing. Two legs, again... Then I find myself right in the middle, where no bubbles, preferable realities/people/lifestyles, bubbles, concepts, etc, can be created. Smile

:)

Chris Bourne's picture

Hi Yulia,

Yes we've talked about this before. Yes indeed, we must honour our distortions and how we feel to be - even if that is our false self and we know it.

But there comes a point when something inside you has to decide... "does the lower truth, the lower expression, serve you anymore?"

I get the sense sometimes you're a little stuck in this roundabout, not wanting to move forwards, stamping your feet rebelliously when people like me gently suggest progression Wink

That's all fine of course. Like everyone, you're totally free to be what you want to be in the moment. Do you realise however how it could have a negative impact on others reading? How they might pick up a kind of negative accepting of anything goes, rather than the motivation to evolve and grow?

Chris

someone's picture

Possibly I wasn't clear.
What I was saying is that one might develop some mechanism attached to this 'being real and free'. I am not being rebellion, at least I don't feel it. I am speaking from an experience of locking myself for almost a year north in Israel and getting stuck in spiritual identity. I began to really progress only after getting out and connecting back to real life, to people, to the world, who didn't let me lie to myself and hide from all that is not 'free flowing spirit'.

I got to see and confront all the stuff I successfully denied and suppressed for months.

It is not the same being free somewhere at the top of the mountain or in the woods and being free right where you are or where you are meant to be.

Those of us who are living and coming in touch with the world have to ffind a way to balance and be careful with the absolutistic stuff. This plane in my view is built on cooperation and constant adaptation to the moment and given environment.

I find that being a needle in people's eyes don't serve either me or them or anything. So balance is important for me. And truth is more important than the desire to be something other than what I am now too. This is how I evolve for years and it served me well till now. Being honest about where I am abd accepting it. It is not anything goes thing, because I do feel and follow the flux. I listen where I an being taken now and what is demanded to do. But I am not pushing myself anymore.

Hope it was clearer now Smile

Chris Bourne's picture

Yes I hear you Yulia.

I was feeling more between the words.

I totally agree with this...

    "Those of us who are living and coming in touch with the world have to ffind a way to balance and be careful with the absolutistic stuff. This plane in my view is built on cooperation and constant adaptation to the moment and given environment."

I'd say there are times of 'absolutism' for us all, yet of course it means nothing if it's not expressed through everyday life here and now.

Chris

someone's picture

Oh So I guess a rebel sneaked in between the lines Biggrin

If it is so, then I guess it is normal. I hope so... Possibly it means I am daring to be free and some part of me is rebelling against it? Smile

Chris Bourne's picture

Do you know something that I experience quite often.... when people encounter their true self, and when expressed through a mirror or catalyst, they may feel controlled by the experience -they may tell me for example that I'm being controlling (when in fact I'm only being a reflection of their true self, which in itself, is doing the 'controlling').

I observe this happens because when the soul flows down the mountain side back to the ocean, you only know the flow of the stream because it has banks too. Without the banks, no stream.

So we may connect with that part of the soul that feels total freedom and spontaneity, just to be, but then feel the 'control' of the banks of the stream as we butt up against them (the banks metaphorically representing an aspect of the soul that recognises a co-creative 'Right Action' - something that we are being called upon to do).

What can happen then, is that the ego owns that part of the soul that feels the limitation, and rejects it as control (it rebels against the Right Action excusing it as distortion). In fact it's just the ego thinking it is the soul and rejecting the soul.

It's a classic 'shadow identity'. Not a false self (which is acting separate from the soul), but one which knows the soul and copies it (the shadow is an echo of the soul). In effect we're 'splitting into two' and acting through the same bodymind. It's a very tricky experience to smoke out. Except that a shadow is always just out of sync and can be felt by someone who is sensitive to them.

That's why I spoke in Five Gateways under Gateway 4 about needing the universe to catch us out unexpectedly so we can see the shadow.

Chris

someone's picture

I am exploring during recent months...

I can't put it into words like you do, but what happened is that I was (and most probably still am) going through some confusion about how do I both live as an embodied soul and as a human being, because the two seemed to just not fit together.

I felt this attachment to absolute freedom! I wanted to be free, unlimited, unrestrained, but then the boundaries of this world would drive me crazy! I felt so tight, suffocating.

And then one day I was walking one of the streets close to the little house I live in and there was a recess for drainage all along the road I was walking on and the rainwater was flowing from the road into the recess and streaming down.

Then in the end of the street the recess was abruptly cut and the water was spreading all over, no direction, no form.

Then I just knew. Not in thought or words form, but I knew that this is the thing down here - to know how to flow with the HELP of the boundaries. It is not possible to be here without them. And things changed a lot since then for me.

I have a question: what else can I do now but just feeling what I am feeling until the 'ouch' moment comes?

And I just can't get used to it. How can I deal with a shadow if I am still not even realigned? So strange and feels so complicated.I am lucky I developed such deep trust in the universe that I know that I can deal with whatever I will be brought to deal with and feel grateful for it.

Thanks, Chris.

Chris Bourne's picture

Sounds like the right area then.

Whether a shadow or not, the only thing you (or anyone) can really do to facilitate and speed the process is to surrender into what presents itself. Here is the most challenging thing: to stop trying to 'do' things in life, and instead, figure out how you are being invited to be. When we can do this, then the twists and turns of the underlying flow become increasingly obvious - we get to know why life is feeling and shaping as it is.

So the key is always to identify how we truly feel to be, and how do you feel to come from that place? You may know there's distortion, so keep watching, but give your all to what you're given.

Then when you truly give yourself completely to the process something will happen. A shift inside and suddenly you look back and realise: "Ah yes, that's what it was all about."

So we tend to get the lessons first and the knowing after.

Chris Wink

someone's picture

Yes, it is true. It always looks so funny retrospectively Biggrin
And now it is just.. tricky hhh

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