Thanks for your perspective Open. I kinda had the sense of it already because i have been observing how im unintentionally setting my day into chunks of time where im meditating to feel the soul,getting out to face the world and entertaining myself. And this continous striving to feel the light gets hectic after a while. And maybe its about time it all merge into one or atleast start to. The thing that stood out most for me in the exploration is vulnerability. I observe i behave a certain way inorder to protect myself from potential negativity and this is holding back in many ways. Your question in the article stands out for me " Why are you still trying to fit in ?". I guess my way of fitting in nowadays would be an image of someone who doesn't get agitated or loose his centre and pose minimum disturbance to people close to me. This is afterall a way to protect myself. And getting clear of negativity inside helps me to conform to this way externally. I think i have developed some degree of acceptance to negativity inside which is helping me to see some of it clearly. This takes off some judgment i had towards my family and helps me to see them as they really are without needing to change them. I have observed in the past as opposed to being untouched and all peaceful its when i have some sort of argument or issue with any one of them is where i really grow. This idea that i no longer need to protect myself and i can be however i want to be is itself very liberating!

Thanks for reading

Vimal