Megha, Open, Richard, Maria, Vimal, and Tracy,

I can't thank you enough for this thread. Each of your shared perspectives and experiences were very inspiring and catalytic.

I had a related experience at work towards the end of last week that spiked really hard for me. Essentially my actions from earlier in the week did not conform with what was expected of me in my new role, and my new boss addressed this through a series of direct judgments. Several comments spiked in succession, like they were bombs being dropped on me:

"NOT VERBOTEN," "Your absence was definitively noticed by several people at the top," "Your reason for not being there is not good enough," and "It looked bad for your entire team."

Fortunately I was in enough of the position of the Observer to able to watch the interaction consciously, and while I was uncomfortable during and definitely demoralized afterward, I somehow knew in my core that I was being given a gift if I could apply the experience as an opportunity and catalyst for growth.

I woke up at 2am that night, still restless from the experience, and was drawn to read this article from back in November 2017 for an evolutionary viewpoint on how to deal with judgment and projection. When I logged into the site later the next day I was confused for a second, because the article I was reading the night before was now somehow on the home page -- until I realized that Open had reposted this EXACT ARTICLE for consideration that day. You're definitely one tuned in dude; thank you 1000x. :)

I finally had the opportunity to fully regress into the experience alone in my car at lunch. There was pain in the solar plexus, left side of the heart, and massive tension in my third eye. After a few moments of breakthrough breathing my Soul just opened me wide up and I went straight into an early childhood experience where it felt like I gave up my capacity to fully feel through the field. Pardon the graphic-ness, but what I saw was a face sucking scarecrow-ish entity going into my rapt stunned frozen face through my mouth, instilling an undercurrent of fear into my existence from that point forward. I saw and felt inserts being clamped into my jaw and implants going up the back of my throat and all the way up into my head through my nasal passages. I identified with what was occurring and could not handle the paralyzing fear, so I eventually I shut my sensitivity off and out just to cope and to be able to sleep at night.

I suddenly saw my own childhood innocence in all of it - along with HUMANITY'S innocence as well - and with it came forgiveness for allowing my light to be overshadowed in the first place. Emotion flowed through in waves and I just allowed it to course through over and over -- so grateful to be graced with the opportunity to realign and to serve and to SHINE again. It was like the emotions themselves became a "hydraulic" cleanser, pushing energy up to my forehead and breaking apart all kinds of stuckness on the way.

Then I saw a toroidal-ish connection between my solar plexus and heart, and it lit up and got stronger and brighter. My hands heated up and they were placed in that space and gave it added warmth. I suddenly saw a tightly wound black snake coiled around my heart space and solar plexus, and as soon as it hit my awareness, it began moving again and turned GREEN. (!!)

A phrase was gifted: CONSTRICT or CONSTRUCT. The realization hit that the "matrix" consciousness was NOT originally built to limit and restrict. It was to provide the necessary framework in order for experience itself to happen. Without boundaries, the Flow could not flow!

A powerful experience I am so grateful for, and I have a few questions as I integrate it.

What are some best practices to encourage grounded integration after something like this? It's not exactly a common occurrence for me. :) As far as my career itself I trust that the external situation will align itself with my internal shifts, but like a lot of us on this thread, there is a big difference between the "two worlds."

It seems like it would be more effective to go directly inward to unwind density rather than requiring external events to catalyze growth. How is this best facilitated? Or is karma pretty much karma and it is what it is?

Thanks again to every one of you - especially the inquiry on blending and expressing.

Paul