Hi Open,

Wow! I think you just reflected back to me my gateway 2 experience. If I were to give it a title, it would be just that - The Guru Within.

When I was 15, I was introduced to a guru whose path I followed until my early twenties. Despite what many people perceive as negative about these sort of collective paths, following one given master, for me it was a lifesaver. Spending a considerable amount of time at an ashram with spiritual and humanitarian values and practices was the turning point for me as an outcast misfit teenager. For it was the first place ever where I could completely be myself and other people actually “got” me. More importantly though, it introduced me to classic spiritual practices, and an introspective way of thinking and reflecting. One of the traditional practices was of course bowing down to the guru, placing your heart above your head. Or as I interpreted it, showing reverence to the teacher. I had no problem with this. I enjoyed feeling that moment of humility, and if I was lucky catch an eye or a word from the guru, which was considered very auspicious. However, after about 8 years, the very teachings of the path, such as “look within for the truth”, made me turn away from it. I was too caught up in the external, like not being able to integrate ashram life with “normal” life, never feeling adequate enough in my commitment to the spiritual practices and of course, looking for approval from the external guru. All of these things were hindering me from finding and following my own inner truth, and it became clear to me that the only way to truly follow the path was to break away from it.

The direction of my life actually changed drastically after that and I abandoned all spiritual practice for a long time. One thing stuck with me though, always lingering in the back of my head. The mantra Om Namah Shivaya - I bow to my own inner self.

I always wondered, what exactly does that mean, bowing to your own inner self? Well, after a long arduous 3D detour, I suddenly found myself back on the spiritual path, but this time completely by myself and without external assistance. I had just discovered Openhand, and watched the 5 gateways film, and through this realised what was taking place. Shortly after that I passed through the second gateway...

A female spirit appeared before me, holding a lit candle between her hands. I asked who she was and she said, Mary Magdalene. This surprised me, for I was never aware of a connection with her. Then she suddenly blew out the candle and said, “Make a wish!”. This startled me and I started feeling a bit stressed. Here is Mary Magdalene, granting me a wish. I’d better come up with a good one. What shall it be, what should I choose? I asked her to give me a moment to “breathe”, and then it came to me. I didn’t have to make a choice, because I only truly wished for one thing - to be able to hear the wish of my soul, and follow That.

As I made this statement, I felt as if something shot out from inside me and formed in front of me. Suddenly, I was standing face to face with what I knew was my soul. My heart exploded and I instantaneously fell down in a deep bow before this light, while the mantra Om Namah Shivaya echoed in my head. I had bowed to my own inner self.

At last, I understood the true meaning of those words, and why bowing to a “guru” is considered a spiritual practice. All those countless pranams at the ashram were a preparation for the real thing. So when the “Guru Within” appeared before me, I knew exactly what to do.

It was a strong video, Open! You really know how to match the visual images with the words and the meaning behind them to create a more powerful experience. There is a beautiful timing between them. Personally, the words are enough for me. Very well expressed.

With kind love,

Anastasia