Hi Vimal,

I really like your insight on imperfections, its a very deep embodied inquiry that the more one directs the attention to and taps into it, the more it creates. This is wonderful:

as i see the truth inside the distortions and peel away it, it feels like i'm not ditching the old habits but evolving it into newer more aligned forms. In the past ,like i said ,i had tried to move into a 'better' version of myself but this better version is just an identity in the head. In my experience it wont work unless i first honour and accept the current version with its imperfections,needs and desires.

I definitely feel/felt directness and a 'go for it' ray 1 quality in your vibe. The challenges you speak of are quite natural, I find. It is easier to be direct with others who are direct themselves and who are also exploring their inner/outer world and their Alignment. There is a level of connection there. And it is in the challenge/struggle to express directly, as you say, that the merging of directness and diplomacy wants to be embodied. I find that in speaking directly, other qualities oftentimes need to be present too, like honoring the other person's truth and actively listening. Also being present with myself and my 'imperfections', if you like. And if disharmony arises, then it will serve a purpose: the re-calibration of sense and sensibilities (often layers and filters arising to be seen) towards a higher level of harmony.

This is really profound. It is these inner experiences that instigate a deeper sense of Trust that will create and vice versa :) :

The universe came back in this case with offer from another institution asking me to teach there. Surprising! This feedback builds more trust and hence more flexibility. I was contemplating about resources in regards to my diet and there was a mango lying in my porch from the neighbours mango tree with which i made smoothie today. It seems trivial but i knew at the moment that it was for me. This knowing is what matters i think. I also feel a bit more settled into immedieate enviornment and experience and not 'hurrying' into other experiences. This is a relief.

Yes, the diffusing of self judgement is a big one and it comes first - it comes in cycles. You say with clarity here:

Today i was experiencing an addictive behavior and there was softening into acceptance of it while it was happening. And i didnt condemn it anymore but valued it just because it provides an opportunity to break through self judgement and resistance. And i have to pass through it again because i know i haven't fully found and expressed the aligned behaviour or alternate way as you say. But i can remember the process and apply it.

To me, this is an experience to give value to, it creates HUGE shifts inside and outside. And if I were you, I wouldn't be 'concerned' whether you have to 'pass it through millions of times' or if you 'haven't expressed the aligned behaviour fully yet' etc etc because if you look closely, these 'concerns' are subtle judgements...they arise to be seen...

:) x