Usually when i feel im cooped up into a box and know its untrue, the diplomat in me would just walk away. Its great that you see it this way and value it. I may also have been replying on the judgemental note of the word. But when you said about chasing positive experience what came to my mind was intense chasing in the initial days. And i'm not the one who wants to go back. To me the gateways is still linear. I know i revisit a lot of stuff but its with more awareness and clarity. In that case i think experiences are more of a spiral. I had this realization that i may also have been seeking answers while writing here. But what would more serve is acknowledging my truth.

Its intriguing you talk about the complete dissolution can happen even without meditating . To me all good things still comes after persistent work. If not what's the point of we all doing serious inner work here. Not that i enjoy meditating or enquiring. When i read the spiritual teachings of ramana maharshi. I felt this dissolution of identity has occurred to him very early. But in my truth it felt like denying some of the soul qualities. He asks this question. " Who is seeking ?" to his listeners obviously from experience. I'm doubtful if this wouldn't override the truth inside. To me its like a fancy question ,when i ask it the 'me'(seeker) feels very real. But its also useful sometimes. Like i tend to get really serious about what appears in my landscape or things i commit to. And i focus too much and miss the flow and big picture. I've been seeing this for many years now , i wish if i could just drop the efforting. But i'm driven to find alignment/perfection which feels very real. I don't mind if the dissolution comes after a long time or not. I wouldn't want to miss the soul golds on the way. I know when the drive to find alignment comes with a nonacceptance of the present then it can become an efforting. So presence is the key ,so we are flexible enough to know when to drop the efforting and when to push forward.