Powerful sharing everyone. I can take something or the other from every response. I do believe Im facing some of the sirius challenges - being not heard in a family strikes a chord. Rich, I believe I have poverty conciousness a great deal. I seem to take some decisions from this sense of lack. And it again creates further lack only disguised in another form.

What's motivating you right now?

Interestingly I feel a sense of purpose for about a week now. Its really strong that I can take the density with more grace. Sense of purpose can easily be distorted as a sense of control. Especially when I'm trying to go too fast. So I have to stop myself and remind that its not about the outcome. Earlier the joy I derived was mainly from the Ray 2 or the surrendering part of myself which can be content with just sitting in stillness. But now I find a different kind of joy from this purpose even when I'm lost in family density. I have applied for MA in psychology. Thanks Megha for pointing in the right direction.

What blockages are coming up?

It's mostly uncertainity of how I'm gonna sustain myself withput support from others. A self judgement of being financially depended on my mother from time to time. I didn't think I would go back to the world I came from. But since the decisions landed that I have to live alone and also do the course in psychology Im kind of searching for some job to sustain myself. I went fro this interview and the interviewer said to my face that I'm not at all cut out for a job like this. Tell me something I don't know! On the way back from the techno city, I gave a ride for a guy and had a small conversation with him. This small act of kindness suddenly opened up my heart. That's when I knew how closed it has been until then. Something Anastasia said resonated with me. Being not welcome in a spiritual higher dimensional context. Yes I really feel this, I part with Openhand too. I was with the belief that it has to do with spiritual identities but maybe it goes deeper than this. It's maybe due to this there's an effort for reconnecting with my old self. I'm somewhere in between and none of this is really my home. There's also a reconnection and joy from family.

What's your orientation in life?

I can't find much difference between question 1 and 3, so I'm gonna leave it that.