Hi Marije,

I think you articulate well what many people experience - particularly those with strong intellect capabilities. The mind creates various cycles and loops of activity, which kind of work in society, but when you start to break free, as you are, they all tend to surface. And sometimes they tend to compete with each other. There's the questioner for example, or the rebel, or else that which needs to be engaged in the control loops. The key is to identify what the 'tightness' is and in the Openhand way, express into it.

It's not always immediately obvious to see what the tightness is. In this case you might feel it in the mind, but my sense is the underlying tightness exists elsewhere for which the mind loops are a cover. I sense that really the tightness is deeper down in the body, through other chakras.

If you were to imagine completely losing control, how would that feel? What fears would come up?

I would suggest exploring into this and seeing where that takes you - where do you feel the fear of loss of control? My sense is that this would point to the source tightness.

Open