me too Hannah, to all of it, especially wanting to be away from people but that's just us seeing our pain mirrored back to us so we instinctively turn away to avoid that pain. and working it through is exactly right, thete is no other way to get through than to go through, to face the original wounds, you'll be amazed how much calmer and peaceful you feel every time you break down and begin to understand why people are the way they are, and you are the way you are and why you keep doing the same foolish stuff you did when you were a child to cope. and even more so when you realize you're exactly like them. there's nothing to fear, we are all scared and hurt and when we see that, we'll start to have more patiemce and understamding with each other; start supporting each other instead of taking everything so personally and retaliating, even if just in thought. and you do feel lighter; the old adage is true:" you never truly understand the weight of something you've been carrying until you let it go." i have cast myself afloat with trust that spirit will guide me. i let go of a big burden today and i feel so much lighter even though my trust is rusty and i have very little safety net. guess this is learning to fly. the burden was so incredibly necessarry though, to force me to truly see and understand myself and others, but i made the decision that it was time to let go because wounds need a chance to heal before the next big "push". one can only stand so much before breaking down and i guess that was the whole point. you just have to recognize when that lesson has reached it's saturation point. here i go going on about myself again, only this is as much about pride in my breakthrough (i think sometimes a wounded ego couldnt hurt from an occasional pat on the back, just gotta stay humble), as wanting to share it: you can do it! if i can get through such a difficult time and truly see how i literally create my life unconsciously by avoiding my old wounds and hanging on to the same coping mechanisms, anyone can. i know i still have quite a journey ahead of me but i think the litlle girl might be growing up. ive seen a glimpse of whats on the other side and its glorious! we really do need to stick together. hang in there you are so worth it💜💜💜🙏