Dear Open and Openhanders,

I indeed did feel the wave of anxiety which wrapped me in knots at the level of the throat . Completely cutting me off from my own higher chakras . And extremely uncomfortable to deal with . Looking back this was affecting me at least since 2 weeks and derailed me significantly from my practices and led me to feel very “grey”. I was unable to be present -it was like I was going around in a fog a subconscious emotion that I wasn’t able to break through despite bowing into it . I was unable to fast and was feeling contracted.

The anxiety was very likely in the field ,but as always touched upon my own fears. I am contemplating massive changes in my life in 2026 and all manner of fears were in my field which got accentuated by the field.

I am going to attempt to enunciate my process, as this may help someone in the grip of fears right now. . I am not attempting to pretend that I am anything but a beginner -everytime I think I have achieved a degree of intimacy with my own feelings ,a derailing circumstance on the outside or a piece of karma on the inside quickly comes to challenge my centre.I needed to learn to process as I became aware a few years ago how prone I was to abandoning my own feelings ,completely dissociating from them and hence from my own individuality . I needed to deeply become curious and well informed about who I was ,and how I felt in all circumstances .

The keyword that unlocks feeling for me is intimacy, in the past it was softness . So as soon as I was aware ,I became intimate with it . This is MY FEELING and to know myself I need to FEEL my own feelings . This felt like a massive knot at the back of my throat ,along with a twinge going down to my base and my heart. Open pointed to karma ( we were having this enquiry in the Quantum Shift workshop ) . The delineation of circumstances helped me feel a big sense of binding and wanting to control - an attachment of how things were to happen for my daughter . Clearly I had projected my need for some sort of safety onto my child and the feeling of attachment was hiding under maternal impulse( they often do) .

Today after the dragons breath meditation, I dropped back into myself and let go the attachment to safety of some sort . I felt into the karma of wanting to hold on and was able to stay with all the emotions without needing to distance myself from them . I remembered-I have been through so much already ,no matter what life brings ,I can take it . And its like my field opened up. I did that today and was able to paint ,journal ,do bodywork and enjoy my day in a simple beautiful way. As I am writing this I look up and see the sign in the coffee shop - Open 24x7.

That is what we are hoping to be isn’t it ?

Deep Bow to everyone. We are exactly where we were meant to be ! Onwards into the magic ,mystery and challenge that is likely to be 2026

Happy new Year soul family,

Megha