Dear Open ,

I am typing this as I am sitting in a webinar to oppose adolescent Covid vaxxes . I am the only paediatrician on the panel . Everyone whispers amongst themselves but are too scared to say it out loud .

I am well aware that I could lose my job ( it's a wonder I still have one :)) and I am currently seperated from my family .

I am in love with a double jabbed ,seemingly very mainstream man who I last remember on Sirius ,also in Egypt. I have told him every time we get together the world around us blows up. Clearly deep karma to work through.

This is the most uncertain time in my life ! And I am having to take it a day at a time. Waves of fear hit me almost daily . I seem to oscillate from understanding and accepting how the Universe conspired me to be at this uncertain point in my life ,to being a screaming crying curled in fetal position mess . From feeling like the Torus is moving within me and through me ,to feeling so much density ,I can barely move . From being in the moment connected within and without to feeling like I have completely lost the plot 😃 and want to latch onto something secure and there isn't really much .

Cooking creatively ( my kid joins me for lunch everyday ) and Nature is what is keeping me somewhat sane ( autocorrected to snake :)) . I am trying to not drown out the waves of pain from my marriage breaking down in rather spectacular fashion. Boundaries seems to be an insistent theme. Which were missing in earlier relationship and something I am having to learn in quick time .

And yet ,gratitude is still something that I seem to have. For all the people I have found through the pain ,the lessons ,the sun ,and the flowers .

The only thing certain in my life is uncertainty . And who would have thought that's exactly what will teach me to be authentic as repressed distortions and gifts suddenly have room to flow .

I am feeling suddenly freedom in the air !

Lots of Love to my Openhand family