I was feeling an anchored coherent strong uprising energy in my base chakra for the past few days, I knew it as the shiva energy. Because of it I was feeling a quiet degree of sexual energy (which was inactive because of my rejection towards sexuality) which made me to explore self intimacy/ self love. What first came up on the surface was guilt. A guilty feeling that I made myself impure which were coming from strong religious/ spiritual indoctrination I was involved in the past. I worked with it. The next came was like " what am I doing? It would be much beautiful if I had my partner with me". This immediately closed off further explorations. So I worked with this mental attitude of the feminine in me. Why does the feminine thinks she need a partner to fulfill her? At this point I could see the Isis in me appeared frozen, like she touched something hard, but she came up with this ' look at the nature, how animals are being'. That sent me back into further contemplation.
Yesterday morning while I was having my breakfast I started crying. There was a lot of sadness and emotional churnups. "Nobody is getting me?"I asked, why do I/you need somebody to get me/you?
"I don't need anything. Just this words are enough, I see you, thats enough" I asked again, why do you need a soft shoulder to lay your head on? At this time my phone rang, it was my partner.

Animals in this planet are being in one level of consciousness, right? A unique beautiful consciousness/beingness. There would be an evolution of consciousness. If thats true, self love/ self intimacy ultimately leads to our connection with twin flame. Right? Considering the disconnection of La bonita with her own twin flame makes me to ask " has the feminine/Isis/Magdalene found her connection with her own twinflame?".
When I read Ra is not releasing the Magdalene energy, I feel to ask ' who the hell he is?' Ra can only hold of me of If I have an affiliation with him or any attachments with him, right? So what are the attachments? Is it the need for a soft shoulder/partner? I hope she has worked with it, then what is holding her in the grasp of Ra? Correct me if Iam wrong/ misunderstood.

Thank you
Soumya