Thank you Open, yes of course, I need to start where I am, one step at a time. Gratitude to you for the guidance! Much love to you, barb🙏

P.S. What a vibrant, energizing and motivating video! Good strong emotional release. I'm much better at confronting the pain, and starting to understand what it means to be the witnesser rather than identifying with the experience, but still can't find a reason to forgive myself. I keep reminding myself it was all I could do at the level of consciousness I was at, that had I known the outcome I would have chosen different, that I never intended to hurt anyone, and I can't change the past. But I just can't seem to be able to let go of the shame and deep disappointment with myself. It's like I just can't see a reason to, don't even know how to. Its like I think I have to suffer because forgiving myself is like saying its ok that I caused pain, that it's ok I ran away, was too weak and scared to do the right thing or behave better. That forgiving myself dishonors the ones I love and hurt. I won't let myself off the hook. But you've shown me there's no way but through it, so I will keep confronting and trying to keep myself open to higher understanding. Maybe one day I can forgive myself and let go. Thank you for showing me the possibility.💙🙏