Hi Open,

I have had an interesting few days where I've been getting clear reflections of things for me to work on. The first issue that arose, I am embarassed to say, related to my fear of not being able to park my car outside my house and that I may need to park a little further down the road. It's absolutely ridiculous, I know, but the feelings came up and my neighbours also reflected the same feelings with their own behaviour around parking. Still can't quite beleive I had the reaction I did but there's clearly something there I need to work on.

The next thing was around not currently being in work and fear around resources. I haven't been in work for a few months and it dawned on me today how much debt I have acrued and that I am unable to afford the payments for loans, credit cards and my mortgage. I started feeling worried and then started cancelling appointments for things that I can no longer afford. One such appointment was with the hairdresser. After cancelling, I burst into tears and my entire financial situation felt overwhelming. I felt through it and quickly realised it's a fear of lack of resources. 

After the feelings passed I jumped in the car to go out. I drove just a minute or so and a warning light for the driver transmission, oil light, and check engine light all came on. When I got home I found myself laughing at the entire situation, but I also feel there is more to it.

In October, my previous car broke down. The issue was the mechatronic unit (which at the time I misheard as the 'METRATONic unit'!) which powers the gearbox. Now, just over a month later the gearbox on my latest car appears to have gone. I have been trying to figure out the meaning and all I can piece together is that the gearboxes both going are linked to the shift in some way. I'd appreciate any feedback or insights you may have.

Best wishes

Nikki