Hi Open, to me there is no more point in looking at things in a linear fashion, in having a future goal. Not even wanting to be there; if I die tomorrow that is equally alright; if that happens then maybe my work is done or maybe I will be at the shift as a child or supporting from the ether, I don't know and I don't care. In fact, I could be a worm or a galaxy and still not care. I would summarize that as an increased willingness to sit in the unknown.

As for oriëntation, the need to be supported or understood by old friends is rapidly fading. We could go back for five or ten or twenty years but if our lifes no longer align, so be it. There was always a how-am-I-going-to-explain-this, that is now a they-can-think-what-they-want-of-it.

The worst thing that can happen is that I die completely alone in a horrible way. If you can accept that, then what's left to worry about? That being said, I have to honestly say I still don't know what I'm going to do when money really does run out completely; if I'll really be so extracted from the matrix that I will be able to accept it. I do ask the universe to show me the way forward, but the feeling sense is that I'm still doing alright.