Hi Love-the-journey,

I felt to reply to your post. Apologies - this weekend has been intense and I've only just found time and space for it.

I wanted to share an experience I had in a similar (and also different) situation.

Some background - 3 years ago I gave up my day job to focus on developing a facilitation business. At the beginning it felt good, going with the flow, connecting, and creating. However, over time I got more and more tense as nobody seemed interested in what I was offering. The main issue was that I was offering my services to the wrong people, but that's another topic and I wanted to focus on something else now.

Money became a big worry for me, which leaked into how I advertised my service. I found myself in mind-loops around it, over intellectualizing the process, though I did my share of inner work on it too. Eventually, I became so burnt out by the stress of it, so demoralised, that I stopped completely.

I knew there was a trust issue, feeling abandoned by the universe. Why couldn't I get resources for living my passion?

So I went on a vision quest for a few days, hiking, fasting and meditating in the forest. However, it seemed like every time I set a goal for myself it would get thwarted. I even got driven by a park ranger right back to where I started on the path. Then it dawned on me. THIS was the path, the learning experience. THIS was the universe looking after me. Not giving me what I thought I needed (resources) but rather the experience I needed to change my perspective and heal the karma.

I went back to work in the matrix. I initially saw it as a step back until I ended up by 'chance' in a group called Tao. Then I knew that this was indeed the path - all I had to do was orientate myself to what had to be learned and actualised in the situation. It turned out it was instrumental in learning to be in the matrix without orientating myself to it.

So I would say, there's no need to judge this or that as flow depending on how successful your life 'seems'. Meditate yes, but not as a way of 'fixing' anything, rather just bringing more awareness to it. When the mind quietens down then intuition comes back.

This statement of yours really jumped out for me: "Do I really wait until the last moment and trust an aligned life will present itself?" I would say, there's no blueprint to follow. Be careful of making 'waiting until the last moment' a strategy to gain something. Also, be careful of pre-conceived ideas of what an 'aligned life' might mean. In my experience they tend to block the flow rather than facilitate it.

Warm wishes,

Rich