It seems to be a significant exploration here, with so many points of reflection that I find in sharings from Rich, Megha, Ltj and, of course, Open. I think I am working on that "Imposter of the Soul syndrome", and feel jumping in with the realisation I just had today. Maybe it could present some reflection/questions to others as well?

Megha, I hear your dilemma. Just to give some context for my situation. What landed to me today was through my engagement in the well-providing-resources job, which is an absolute part of the matrix. For many years I am wanting to withdraw from it, even though the conditions that I was able to “fight back” in this job could be categorised as a “dream job” (from the perspective of the simulation) with plenty of freedom for my being. However, it is crystal clear that it does not serve the soul. Yet not knowing what else I could do with all this huge pile of my skills and so called “talents”, I was patiently working my way through it, feeling clearly that this matrix job consumes an enormous amount of my energy, which I was “stealing” from my creative power of the soul. I was (and am) owning the situation. But I could not understand till today, why exactly it sucks my energy, even though I am consciously working to redirect it into the creative projects away from that job. The result of this internal work is my achievement in remaining engaged in the functions at that job only to provide my expertise, but the everyday tasks are handed over to my other coworkers there. And here is the main point, that I could not see so far my distortion of wanting them to do the work to the same level of quality that I was accomplishing. I wanted to protect my sweet colleagues from failure and mistakes associated with the risks of the responsibility that this position carries. While by now I withdrew a degree from this engagement and from the position of an observer suddenly realised, that by wanting to give the best of my knowledge to others I was uselessly “knocking” into that automated, conditioned consciousness of others, that are heavily following the program, me being a degree judgmental of it, not being able to understand “why the hell people cannot remember just simple things that I am readily presenting to them”. Because they are not present in what they are doing. And it is not my job to change that. That caused my energy to leak into nowhere, into the simulation.

Could the simulation be used as a “tool” that shows us the direction (or a map)? It’s where we can spot distortions that we are still carrying and, as Open writes, “where our being attaches to a particular ray of consciousness and over amplifies it.”

If I drop this job or this not-working-for-me relationship untimely, before I entirely heal myself within it, I will manifest it again and again. I have learned this in my previous relationships, by healing myself (not the other) to the point where the soul knows undoubtedly “that’s it! I have done everything possible, now I can leave”.

If I create the “wanted haven” for myself untimely, not coming from an upwelling of the soul, and function in that “bubble”, imagining I am in the flow of the soul, how would I know I am just living a lie? How would I find the blind spots of my consciousness, the distortions?

I do resonate with what Rich said that engaging with a denser environment is a really great training ground. Sure, we do not want to give energy to the simulation, but how to find where that boundary is? Open, is it a good thing to seek complete separation from the simulation or matrix if we are “not there yet” (I mean not in a flow of the soul)?

With love

Asya