Hi Soumya,

I felt to write a little reflection here. I trust it's invited.

I remember when I first moved from England to Austria, one thing that really got to me was how everyone felt they needed to 'teach' me the best way to do things, even though I felt my way was perfectly fine and was happy to just go about my business in my own way. I realised that there was some reflection in the way I was being. I have two sides to me. One is very accepting and easily blends with other people's realities, finding truth in that. The other is a very masculine clarity that naturally leads. I realised that there was a subtle making myself small, which the language barrier didn't help with - I unconsciously made a story that others 'knew it better', the very thing that was triggering me (surprise, surprise!).

So, perhaps a little more development and expression of the inner masculine is required. However, that requires a willingness to be responsible for your own creations.

When I read your sharing I read some things between the lines. Like a subtle distortion of the feminine. Especially in this - "I'm not that all accepting , love pouring feminine. I'm sorry, I can't be that romantic icon of your dreams." This seems like a victim pattern to me. You are expressing that you have no power in this situation/relationship. So the universe will respond to this.

Cultivating the masculine traits of rock solid clarity in who you are and a willingness to say things that might make people uncomfortable or lead to conflict can be quite scary (at least it has been for me in the past). But what is created from that way of being is totally worth it.

Then, observing how the masculine and feminine dance with each other within us. Which one wants to express in the moment? How can one support the others - eg. surrendering into expression of will, or empathy as a door to catalysing. Or Being clear on a direction to take and then finding flow within that.

As another example, yesterday my partner's mother came round to have a look at the garden we've been creating. She very much has a distorted masculine energy of constantly needing to teach others the 'best' way and show she knows more. So she immediately set about with 'you need to do this and that, and oh that should be done differently'. My partners response is a feminine one of accepting that she not likely to change the way she is and just letting it brush over her, giving her gentle reflections and not letting herself be drawn into it. My response was very different - I said "We have already done it you know" in a tone of voice which communicated setting an energetic boundary to her. She replied "I think you often understand me the wrong way". I said, "Ok, then how did you mean it?" Her pattern completely broke down as she wasn't able to defend it.

Both these approaches had rightness to them, so it's up to each individual to find their right expression according to their soul ray harmonic.

Hope that helps a little,

Rich