I'm finally emerging from a very painful physical reset, with a feeling as if my throat and lungs were burning and dissolving and joint pain. Even my heart beat is different. I must confess to have checked the news often, with horrid fascination at the unfolding circus. The energy behind it seems to assume that, like good soldiers, we, the compliant populace, appreciate military facts, figures, campaign successes and the cults around the planetary warlords. Like the nazi party at the end of the second world war there is endless speculation of new, ever more powerful weapon technology to whatever ends that may serve. But that reveals the underlying ethos of power and domination. It's stunningly shallow and pointless. That any planetary intelligensia, our so called pollitical classes, could still play this fruitless and empty game in its dangerous and meaningless perpetuity can only really underline the fact that its time to get off this speeding train as it nears the ravine of totality. This game is over. As for the choice of going all in for spiritual preparation? Well, what else is there? Its been a curiously lonely and despairing last few days, like finally facing the nihlism of everything I was born into. But the temptation is to turn against the process reactively and condemn. Therein lies some of my own stuff to work on. This, for now is really about dissociation not detachment with empathy and acceptance.