Hi Open,

Thanks as always for keeping us updated on the bigger picture. As I read this I said "Ah so that's what's been going on!" Yesterday it seemed as though the usual players in my own journey were firing with all cannons. I've stepped up my practice as I'm tiring of keeping myself stuck in the same old negative creations and what i was doing just wasn't cutting it; I still am owned by the triggers others illicit in me. My soul yearns to break free. So no more putting it off, and no more impatience because I havent 'got it' yet. Time for discipline. Practice practice practice. I kept fantasizing about getting out getiing away, forgetting that I'm exactly where i need to be and that this is the work. I have a quote about Hypomone, which is having the courage to stay in difficult circumstances because one knows it will be ones liberation. But I forget and let my pain make me want to hide. I doubt myself so much but one of your recent posts spoke to it being about BS/Int trying to derail through doubt and shame, so I try to remmeber to call it out and not let it distract me. And it seems as though everytime i feel like I'm starting to get on my feet again with reconnection, that's exactly when the derailments come. And they don't wait for when I'm rested or caught my breath from the last drama or if I'm hungry or not. 'The dark lord isn't resting' as Snape says in HP. But I'm starting to see the attacks as me the eagle trying to rise above it while the smaller birds peck away at me. The eagle ignores the pettiness, doesn't waste it's energy to respond as most of the time the attacks are about getting a negative reaction from me, which alas, is still so easy. But I know I can take it now. I may still have emotional breakdowns as I still carry the pain of my childhood, but The Bow has been an invaluable tool to work it through. Slowly but surely chipping away. I was wondering why it was particularly intense yesterday and thought of solar flares and the local heat wave going on here in the region. Knowing now the wider activities makes it easier to understand and bear.

Thanks for speaking about the Andromedans and particularly the mandala. When I read the post I got an idea as an art project to create my own, but I want to get into a steadier calmer more integrated state first so as to be creating more from my soul than ego. For now though I have a mandala coloring book that I hope could help ease me deeper into myself. I love sacred geometry and have always loved art that integrates truth and knowledge. Sorry for any repetitiveness, I've started to notice I do that.

Thank you Open and thanks to the Star Beings!

Gratitude and love,

Barb