Hi Katie, It certainly sounds like you're going into heavy karma. That's exactly how people I've been working with experience it. For no apparent reason they're straight into dense, dark pain which can be totally gut wrenching. It sounds to me as if you may also be confronting another key aspect of karma that everyone seems to go through and is spoken of by Lesley in the film - that is abandonment. We spend life times completely immersed in the idea of separation. Even when we discover we're all one, there's still all the internal references to separation and to identity. When we move beyond that, most get lulled into the notion that the soul is who they are. And so there's still subtle perception of separation - there is this being and that being. But in truth, there is only one being in the universe. At Gateway 4, the path leads people into the actual experience of there being only you. And the sense of aloneness that can come with that. There is no one else! You are all alone in the universe! When you truly confront this, in an experiential way, it can be immensely challenging. It's the feeling Jesus confronted on the cross "why have you forsaken me father?" It is the being realising itself as one. Open PS - great that Five Gateways is working for you and thanks so much for the kind words of support :wink: