I am experiencing this one as long as I can remember myself. Recently it's become pretty intense. I wrote a post on fb today, sharing Hammock's West, something that sounds like home and takes me home, and sharing today's experience. And then remembered there was an article on Openhand and that I should share it here actually. It was funny to see the photo too, as if confirming something, saying "it's ok". I am copy-pasting: "Today I was flowing with Hammock, got lost somewhere deep within myself. And then I had to pop back up. When I realized I am here, and have a body, it was a shock. But with all the pain I felt contentment because I also was calm in this panic, which is usually not the case. Thoughts of killing myself floated softly and then disappeared, as I was surrendering into the illusion that I must live and the sorrow about it. Was tough to contain. I was looking for a place inside where there would be no conflict anymore, where everything would fall into place, the two opposites would collide and resolve each other, and couldn't. So I just felt it all, watched it moving, changing, spreading and dissipating. It was just another doorway. Another degree of acceptance was reached and with that another level of separation digested. Sometimes it seems there will be no end to this. I guess it is ok. And till then, I have ways to bring my home with me wherever I go, and keep me floating between the two worlds, somehow, so I can function. I am really grateful..."