Thank you Open for your support and guidance - I feel perched on the edge and this community teaches me to dive in and know that there will either be a landing place or wings!

Open you said:

"So to self-realise, you have to get into the eddy current. You have to be in the experience of it. To become the experience so much, that it can no longer define you because there's no rejection of it. That means to express the fullness of it. Then you bring presence into the pain. Then the pain ceases to be defined as 'pain'. It becomes a flowing, authentic expression of the soul."

I have filled journals with acknowledged patterns and with awareness space has grown between stimulus and response and there have been shifts but probably just into some other pattern since it seems to me now perhaps there is an indentity making a choice rather than allowing space for the soul to come through?...what may just be a more spiritually acceptable pattern but still a covering of the original pain of not self-realizing. So, I see how I have avoided looking, FEELING behind the pattern....bringing presence into the pain as you say...funny how we can fool ourselves because I thought I was doing this all along! =)

Question..is it possible for me to go into a review of these patterns as they have been named, labeled and acknowledged (many more of course than I realize yet!) in my journals and release them by sitting with them and feel behind them, drop into the feeling now even if it is not being stimulated by a present situation? Seems to me it is still presently occurring in this moment since the past and all the patterns we use to cover it are living in our way of being now.

Thank you!
Love,
Jenny