Two years ago when I had left my company job I thought I would never go back to the Matrix. (This was right before my kundalini awakening.) During the last two years I had been feeling that the Matrix was 'bad', my job was 'bad' and I would do something 'wrong' if went back. "No, I'm supposed to do something 'good' instead: write, teach, charity etc." Even the thought of going back had caused me physical pain.

And then a few weeks ago something interesting happened. Something has changed inside me. And shortly after this the Matrix called me back. After a long time I found myself again sitting in job interviews. Feeling the old contractions because of the possibility of doing something 'bad' - but these contractions just came and then they wanished. I went into them: I went into my fears. And now here I am hired again - right at the eye of the Matrix! But everything - a lot of synchronicities - during the process seemed to have helped me to find this job. Or the job to find me for that matter. For me, it has definitely felt as rightness. The whole process was simply magical.

In my view, there has been no right or wrong in this - the only thing is that somehow I am SUPPOSED to do it. The job does not SOUND spiritual at all - I still feel that I have work to do here. To bring light and to face my fears, for instance. It is very good that the job provides money to live on but it is not the money I am going back for. It is beacause it feels right.

It's not going to be easy I know. I dunno how long it is going to work. But I feel the two worlds have now met and merged inside me: who knows, maybe I am supposed to anchor down one in the other in the external as well. Let's see how it turns out: I am starting in two week's time.

With love, Mark