Steve - we are sharing your breakdown here the past few days - lost, alone and wondering when the hits will stop coming. Another of our dogs - our family - has lymphoma. This boy has been my loyal, faithful protector since I rescued him, and he rescued me 8 years ago - he is always at my side. And now - gone in a few weeks? HOW can circumstances not matter? This is the question that keeps going around and around in my head.
As with you - none of the 'work' I have done over the years - none of the meditating, reading, inner child, teenager, past lives, entity or any other kind of clearing that has been part of this journey has done any good. It feels like a complete spiritual and close to physical and mental breakdown.
I don't even know where to start looking for help.... maybe it is here with you - sharing the pain.
I hear Open saying - go into the pain - be awesomely okay with it. Maybe one day I will get to that place.... it sure feels a long way off this day.
With love and understanding, Steve.
Jan