Thanks everyone for the discussion about re-wiring neural pathways. Like the seasoned warrior I am, I threw myself full force into realigning and re-wiring my neural circuitry with my well-honed discipline, commitment, vim and vigor, and I thought I had it beat. The key words here are "force" and "beat". There was a good deal of repression and judgment going on that I wasn't conscious of. I so badly wanted to exit the dark side and take up the sword of light.

An Openhand quote that resonates strongly with me says more or less, "Light and dark are simply judgments that we can rise above and soar beyond." Of course that applies to notions of good and bad, as well.

So now I'm allowing the conditioned neural pathways to play out as I release judgment and denial, conscious of my attachment to them. Effortless is a free-flowing energy without identity. It's a curious paradox that I can re-wire only if I fully accept. It feels like I'm in limbo, waiting. Sometimes it feels like a scary place. So I continue to breathe, meditate, and surrender everyday as best as I can and infuse the light of my soul through all the efforting and holding on.

Love to all,

C.