i am humbled by your post accepting your path towards your pain Spiritpaws and I notice that I had become so unaccustomed to exchanging with someone who was not afraid to change direction. It is so strange to be so strongly feeling a connection to the process of th retreat while in my daily life. I was driving back from a supermarket when I dropped into the next layer. I noticed the veiled anger I felt when I posted; Anger at all the voices that say 'there there, it's is all fluffy really.' Under the lap and the loss, anger. And Then, looking at the literally endless stream of cars on the road, shame. The voice saying that we humanity have done this, created this, this devastation, this machine and it gets hard to feel anything but shame towards self harm and despair. Do we deserve the 'out' of ascension? What that is worthy ever has humanity done when you look at Gaia?
Yet, she will continue, she will recover. And for some reason we are being invited to go with her? Despite everything she is reaching out a tendril to us? Why?
Right now I'm stuck with this shame, time to soften inward. Go there really, now. Something about totally letting go forever of this reality.