Thanks Open - no angry parent stuff from my early years never saw anyone shouting at all. I havnt had time yet to work on this but asked for insight overnight. I woke remembering a relationship I had about 17 years ago - I remember that right at the very start I had a feeling of "something isn't right here " and an impression inside me that I was caught in a trap. I pushed this away and carried on. This became one of the most traumatic times of my life that included an infection which docs said if I hadn't gone to hosp when I did my life was at risk. It seemed I could not escape this man I felt almost like I was wrapped up in spells that prevented my getting free. I think I havnt forgiven myself for ignoring the warning feeling I felt originally and I am angry with myself for that and for allowing another to dictate my life so much so that my dad said he saw me fading away losing my bubbliness etc . I have not understood why I called this into my experience yet although have sat with it and focused . So I guess there's a deep anger and maybe this is what triggers with my grandson and others when they won't listen . Sometimes I see what they are doing is dangerous etc and am ignored then the anger is triggered . Perhaps the feeling that I didn't "listen" to self perhaps soul all those years ago . Yet I know all must have their experiences as I do. The sharing about the little soul struck me deeply as it showed me that those we feel do is the greatest harm are really those who love us dearly in that other realm. The experience with this man has left me afraid to trust myself and any decision I make I only realised this today and it has led to my reaching outside myself for guidance ever since . Now finally I understand this
Blessings
Elaine