i did have a situation at home where i lost my cool and i was very disapointed with this, i did however work my tools, i brought awareness to the experience, I was actually aware while in the process of losing my cool but i could not stop, it was too strong, felt bad a few days but did realize i needed to forgive myself and accept ME as i was, it shook me tho. i did have a few similiar situations after and my reaction was much more aligned i felt... this time my awareness assisted in calming me dowm through the Experience.

not sure if this is what it is but i will continue to Inquire and explore this internally and how my external events unfold.

Much thanks again