Open - (founder)

I did reply here a few days ago but it didn't register properly.

It's been an interesting few days. I can see that I have always felt an overly strong obligation to the children, and yes, in trying to control everything that they may experience as 'negative', I fragment myself. I feel much better in relinquishing control of what should be their experience, as it really has nothing to do with me. You said something about visualising towards the end of you last comment. Would you please clarify what it is I should visualise?

I also need to accept what is without wishing things as different, or needing it to go a certain way.

I have started the 5Gateways book and am watching your videos. I feel like I'm on my way.

One day/feeling at a time.

All my thanks Open.

I'd say the breathlessness is the key here.

It's not just about observing - that's only the beginning.

If you find yourself breathless, then it's because you're probably tightening and losing internal focus - giving too much externally.

You could try regressing into the situations when you have space and quietness. Start by breathing peacefully, then visualise the circumstances that make you feel tight.

What is it you think you need from the situation or can't accept about it?
Are you being their 'saviour'? Do you feel overly strong obligation for example?

Reflect on this: you can't truly give if you don't have.

There will always be something. Look for this, try to accept the moment as it is. My intuition tells me you probably empathically take on the energy of your kids. So instead, breathe deeply into your body whilst visualising the situation.

When you can do this by yourself, then start to apply it with your kids.

Best wishes

Open

Indeed yes..! I realised the depth and breadth that these four Master Teachers represented in my life.
I do take time for myself, observe it all, myself and them. Question the what and why of what I'm saying to them. I try to be as conscious as possible, often without success. I guess my query is when I'm in the thick of it, watching and feeling what arises from within, I become breathless in trying to soften into the frustration/anger..and then I'm diverted from what I'm trying to do by the demanding child who helped bring it to the fore. I guess I'm wondering if that becomes a little easier to achieve when it's coming at you thick and fast.

Hi Jodee,

I can imagine it's not easy with four kids frequently demanding attention :-)
Firstly it's important to realise that we create these challenging situations because they offer an important opportunity for spiritual growth. It's easy sitting on top of some mountain!

So what might you be working with here?

"Boundaries" and "Attention" are the two that spring to mind. I know it's not easy with kids, but it's essential that you set boundaries of "you" time, where you are off limits (unless there are emergencies of course). Even if this time is only for 5 minutes or so. Make sure you have your own space - you could even put a little notice on the door.

There's also an inner boundary to establish, which comes with attention. Even a caring mother must be able to find internal focus on your own sense of self. Even amidst the busyness. Otherwise you just get lost in the energy of those around you. So work to be the observer of yourself at all times. Just watch your thoughts and emotions, but then seek through it all, the sense of still centre that you acquire in your "you" time. Put some degree of attention on that centre even amidst the busyness.

It takes time and practice, but it's essential to do. It means that you take sovereignty back of your own field. Then OC is less able to penetrate and influence.

Best wishes *OK*

Hi Open,

I often feel anxious when I come to the site. I'm a single mum with four kids, so time alone is precious. When I log on i don't know where to start, and I am often distracted by what doesn't apply to me immediately, or interrupted by a child needing something. I am aware now, thanks to this site, that I am being distracted by OP. Could you please guide me on where to start? I have been aware of OP for a few years now, and I'm aware we are heading into a re-set ( happy about this) but i would not like to be left behind on a NWO timeline because I haven't done the appropriate inner work.

Also.. usually when I am running frustration throughout my day I don't get the necessary alone time to sit with my feelings/emotions because as soon as I'm trying to feel/soften into it, I have another child/situation coming at me!! I would appreciate anything you can share with me here. A few days ago I did get to sit through some fear for 40mins, as I was alone, and it was glorious!! I loved it!!

Thankyou Open xxxx

Thank you very much Open, I will work on watching my inner feelings. I find it much easier to meditate in the morning (not many thoughts when I first awake) perhaps I let my busy world effect me at night rather than releasing it, I over think it.

Hi Gordon, greetings, welcome to Openhand *OK*

Many people struggle with formal meditation in the beginning. If you're used to a busy internal process, and if you're fully engaged in the toxicity of the world, it'll be pretty painful as soon as you work to go into quietness - you start to feel what you've (really) been suppressing.

But there is a way to work with this - meditation is really about becoming the observer of your process. What is it that brings you joy? When do you feel really alive? In some kind of physical excerise perhaps? Maybe a walk in nature? Dancing or moving to music? When you find what brings you joy, then engage in it, but most essentially, watch your inner feelings - just observe.

This is a good bridge into formal meditation.

Open *OK*

I am looking for advice, help, spiritual guidance. I have been striving to become a better person for a very long time. I believe I have improved over the years. I believe that I possess all of the knowledge needed to improve, to become enlightened, to communicate with my higher self etc. But for some reason I find it so hard to meditate, to just be quiet even. I can't seem to just stop my thoughts and relax. If there is anything you can do for me it would be much appreciated. If you can connect with my higher self in some way. Than you have my permission. Thank you.