When You Feel Like You've Had Enough of This Life

Thank you for the encouraging words  Yes I honestly think that being in the midst of society is not really for me, at least not right now, but instead creating a niche for myself where I can do my thing and radiating it outwards in some way. Lots of respect for those able to move and engage actively in society.   

Thank you so much for mirroring this back to me, hitting the nail on the head. And is it not in sharing about ourselves and our own stories we can resonate outward something really true? 

How great you were able to let go of some load today! Little by little I do feel I'm unpacking as well, I also let go of some weight in the past days. And the wisdom and lightness that comes with it is always so worth it. 

I remembered something I wrote a couple of months ago that I felt like putting down here:

what cannot come
will not come
the old forces
driven by lack
slowly dying
a painful death

do not fear
that which fades
for it is not you
you, my love,
are looking through
those eyes

from deep within me
(me - who is that even?)
cries out an ancient sorrow
carried around for way too long
and exactly long enough

every breath deeper
every touch more intimate
every word more true
every death died 
feels more alive
and ever new.

Thanks so much for the encouragement  

To the little inner girls 

I understand where he is coming from, and I empathise with him. I'm all for Hong Kong's sovereignty, but it's important that it doesn't compromise China's sovereignty in the process.

As someone who can understand and speak both Mandarin and Cantonese, I have had an easy time looking at both Hong Kong's and China's side of the stories, besides Western media's narratives. The truth is, this situation is very complicated. Hong-Kongers had been enslaved by the British empire when Britain successfully invaded and colonised the Hong Kong region of China in 1842(The First Opium War). Nowadays, many Hong-Kongers misdirect their angers towards the Chinese government for "failing them in the first place", and that's why many of them want to cessate from China and become an independent country. The reason why China is reluctant to let Hong Kong go is because the Chinese government fears that if Hong Kong becomes an independent country of its own, the US will have an easier time infiltrating Hong Kong and sow chaos in China.

I'll provide a perspective to help you understand where China is coming from. As we all know, millions of Jews died in the heartless Holocaust carried out by the Nazi's, and this is a very sensitive topic in Western countries. In China, hundreds of millions of Chinese people died in civil war in the early 1900s caused by Western powers who tried to "divide and conquer" China and her people in the name of Christianity. (And this number of deaths did not include those millions more massacred by the Japanese in WW2). Civil war or internal conflict is a very sensitive topic in China and amongst Chinese people, and this is why the Chinese government will do everything to prevent this from happening again.

Back to Hong Kong protestors. Please know that there are three groups of people here: (1) Real protestors who protest peacefully but bravely, and I support these people, (2) Violent protestors who wreck havoc, causing senseless destruction, and terrorise anyone who doesn't agree with them with physical violence, and (3) opportunistic criminals who rob, rape and even kill in the midst of the chaos. I do not in anyway support the latter two groups. And then we have the majority of "everyday" Hong-Kongers who were terrorised by those violent thugs. I have a few Hong-Konger friends who told me they were living in fear everyday because they could get picked on by those violent people at anytime for "not joining them".

Now let's talk a bit about China. Personally, I really feel that China and Chinese people in general have been terribly misunderstood by the world, and we can all thank the Western media for twisting narratives and even outright slandering China. I'm not saying China's government is perfect in anyway, but it certainly is far from the super villain that Western media will have us believe. As a teenager, I also bought Western media's anti-China narratives, but when I finished high school and decided to start thinking independently, I decided to give China the benefit of doubts. To my surprise and disgust, I found that Western media are doing everything they can to make China look bad for whatever reason, even though in recent decades the Chinese government has done a lot to improve the quality of life of her netizens, including lifting almost everyone out of poverty. I've also traveled to China and visited several regions there myself over the years and I can say with confident that most Chinese cities are so safe now, that you can walk their streets in the middle of the night without having to worry about being mugged. Most Chinese people (regardless of ethnicity) are prosperous and happy, which is part of the government's plan to bring stability in the country. I don't think this is something a bad government would do. I have also visited XinJiang and it's nothing like the Western media narratives. Anyway, the average Uyghurs are a beautiful people with amazing culture and foods.

You might be asking then why doesn't the Chinese government help improve the quality of life of the Hong-Kongers? It's because of the "One Country,Two Systems" principle, which means the Chinese government does not have any real influence on Hong Kong until the system expires in 2047. The US have been working on trying to gain power over Hong Kong furtively over the years before China can truly regain Hong Kong, and this is something China really fears. And you can pretty much guess that it was the CIA whose influence turned the Hong-Kongers' protest for sovereignty into a mindless, violent riot.

Sinophobia is a big issue now. I have the feeling that the Opposing Force is trying to divide humanity by making us demonise Chinese people, and sadly they have been successful judging by the number of hate crimes against Chinese and Asians we see in Western countries. My Chinese friends often told me how disappointed and hurt they feel when they see how the world just want to demonise them, and I feel for them.

Sorry for such a long comment. I just wanted to vent out my frustration, and hopefully people here are open-minded enough to explore and really see the situation for what it is, instead of just listening to one side of the story.

Peace to all.