I meet all kinds of people in the spiritual work that I do - dealing with some of the most challenging - crippling even - experiences imaginable. It's then when ones spirituality is truly tested - right in the thick of it. It's then that you truly make a choice - where you decide who you are: going into the heart of the challenge, courageously, penetrating it with awareness, whatever the fear. Your soul drew your path, and there's nothing you can't deal with.
You decide who you are. And forget not all the little things. How do you chose to be spoken to? Do you choose to let others judge you as something less than you are? And remember, we need to expand the meaning of 'judgment'. It's also an expectation that you should, and will, behave in a particular way. Do you allow yourself to conform? Or can you find the courage to hold the space open so that totally authentic and spontaneous "you" can arise. You are indeed awesome. But you have to keep choosing it. Then you simply make the landscape respect you.
Namaste
It's when there's the potential to lose the things that mean most to you, where you can learn the most. It's not easy to do though is it? It's all those touch points that draw you right in. But just as it's all crumbling before your eyes, that's when you've got to look inwards and truly feel. What is it doing to you inside? Risk losing it all, so you can unwind that new aspect of supreme being. Then you'll find something else, just as important, will take shape right before your eyes; in double quick time.
Namaste
The spiritual mainstream often speaks about 'dropping your story', so as to drop duality. To me, this is a falsehood! If there is no 'this' and 'that' - ie without relativity - then there can be no experience at all. And for a tree to grow strong, it must also have strong roots. We are each the One, but at the same time, we are a unique expression of the One. Your story forges the soul streaming through you, just as in everyone. It's where you get attached to the story - where it becomes a drama - that's the problem, where you might be trying to control the way it goes.
It's necessary to expand our idea of 'judgment' in order to advance spiritually. It's not just about judging something as 'good' or 'bad'. It's when we hold a fixed opinion; when we create a drama out of the feeling; or else when we're not fully conscious and present with feelings. Then they cement in our consciousness as some fixed relation to reality. This is what's limiting. We must learn to focus constantly, no matter what we're doing, on penetrating through the thought and feeling - to 'normalise' it.
Never forget we're connected into fields of consciousness, that you can influence and are influenced by. If you put out a thought, that is not grounded in deep, aligned consciousness, it will most likely bounce back, causing lack of belief and uncertainty. However, if you explore and surrender into the depths of your being, then you keep picking up vibrations aligned with the underlying flow. Which if you radiate, because you've tested your belief in them, then no matter how strong the resistance, they're sure to ultimately manifest.
Deeper spirituality is simple. It's not easy, but it's simple. In every thought, in every emotion, feeling, breath and action, there's essentially two forms of consciousness you can attune to: either the physicality and sense of separation - essentially allowing the experience to define, limit or control you. Alternatively you can observe everything, become absolutely intimate in all experience with your presence. Don't judge or blindly accept it as the limitation. Penetrate through it with the sense of lightness and expansiveness of the soul.
In terms of spiritual growth - realisation of the soul - success is not so much a measurement of size or number, although that can be a reflection; neither is fulfillment about reaching some kind of goal or destination. What I've found for me, is that there's what's real for me; what defines, and best reflects, who I feel I am. This is actually the hardest thing - to know the fineries of yourself in all situations. It's a case of being able to define one's boundaries accurately, by being prepared to explore all the grey areas of uncertainty.
You have to believe that you really can change the world with your consciousness. The problem in human form, is three trillion cells telling you you're physical! And that the confines of how far you can reach, rest in your body. What I notice happens, is that as you keep testing and penetrating this limitation, then your consciousness connects up with a universal flow, which if you soften your mind to follow, reveals how you're 'lending a hand' in a wider movement.
Does it often feel like you're living in two different worlds? In one, the higher, everything clicks in and makes sense, you feel the flow in your heart. But the lower frequently feels turgid, and clogged, with people thrashing around trying to secure their bit of the world. And here you are in the middle acting as a bridge. Which can sometimes make you feel like you're going crazy - but don't worry, you're not! Benevolence sees you, and the phenomenal work you're doing. Take heart, work on your skills as the eternal diplomat, bridging between realities.
Namaste
Along the path a 'quickening' will come, where the consciousness of the Higher Self becomes evident in some kind of metaphoric manifestation. It's time to integrate the sense of that in the here and now, inside oneself. Simply focus on the feeling the metaphor activates, which will then grow and become a part of you. Bit by bit the false self unwinds, through the all the choices of your life, allowing the higher consciousness to flood in. But you have to keep trusting in it, keep working with it, keep focusing on it. If it's right and aligned, it will become you.
Namaste
There will come times when you're choked up, not knowing what to do, feeling really tight and horrible inside. Don't worry, it's okay to be like that. The world outside creates from the flow of the soul, but there'll be times when the soul is not fully self-realised - not realising of the One Self. This is what causes the tightness. But don't immediately try to cure it, because this is where you need to be. It's in the tightness of the soul where realignment and self-realisation happens.
