Hello Andy,

Thank you for your reflection and resonance; it's sweet to feel the return call.

I read your post about your experience around the Sydney retreat and could empathize with the experience (and applaud the way you dove into it and realized through it)!

Yes, this feeling is one I have felt for a long time, and it seems to be ramping up in intensity...especially within intimate relationships - this need to be known, and the feeling/thought that "it's always such a struggle to be me" - that I have to fight for it and this general feeling since I was a child that "things are not right." I'm not in touch with the karmic source of this pain - though it certainly feels foundational to what I have created around me throughout my life, and I appreciate the reflections you share of how this was illuminated.

As you say, the key is to meet the feelings with honesty and self-exploration - my projections have been my protection from feeling the raw experience. Those triggers are very touchy ones! The face of mockery or energy of dismissal or ridicule triggers a pain that seems to have many layers of protection around it! While witnessing is usually there...for some reason in these situations, a fight instinct comes out rather quickly...this YOU WILL HEAR ME energy. Ahhh, inspiration...this song just popped in...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYU-8IFcDPw

Perfect energy to move with this!

Again - thank you for sharing your experience - it is deeply appreciated.

Jen