Hi Aspasia

Yes I feel the flexibility in your post. Thanks for resonating. I have some issue with longing for perfection in everything ,so its bit difficult in finding that. Its what i said by fixed intention and conforming to that and thinking failed if that's not fully met. I was feeling hungry while reading your post, well after my evening meal. So i thought fU** it and had some bananas LOL! It's not a diet or a protocol but a way of life. Today morning i had a rich meal with steamed vegetables ,chickpeas ,an egg and a smoothie. Its was well satisfying than a normal breakfast. I had a very small meal at lunch time and didn't feel hungry at all. So what i'm looking for is healthy satisfaction! That should probably include high caloric foods. Since for these i spend from my pocket and also share with others i doubt if it can be way of life for me but only for a short time. I have to see where it goes. Lunch time i normally eat what my family eats which is rich in rice and veg curries. But i don't eat a full stomach which feels really heavy afterwards. My brother and his wife is a bit overweight, i'm below average and i'm the one who is dieting. Its funny. But they find it inspiring and starting their own diet plans. Its interesting how you can inspire someone without even saying a word. Like my brother used to judge me for dropping out of college and not finding a full time job and now after more than 2 years of grudges , he has done the same and looking to start his own business. But i digress. Anyway regarding the fasting i think its important to find what works for me rather than copying others. Like any other thing fasting is an area where im able to see my attachment with outcome and perfection. So like you say, its also an opportunity to work with myself rather than a means to get anywhere.

Its comforting that you resonate the two states that i mentioned. Yes i find the challenge is to bring acceptance into the denser experience. Its particularly challenging when i have a degree of attachment to the outcome specially regarding the spiritual path as to where i'm at , comparing with others etc. I find it much easier to find my uniqueness in the later state. Today at evening i went to my usual meditation spot in the hill after getting a bit tired with the 'imperfection' and noises at my home. And to my surprise there was loud church music playing there. I had to laugh opposed to my usual frustration because it was clear how i was manifesting it. After a while i think i was able to expand around it and consider it as just an experience , a sensation like hunger for example.

Suddenly I burst into tears and something unlocked. It felt lighter and softer and something released. In that moment, I saw 4 deer passing by only a few yards away from me and a HUGE fox. Breathtaking sight which was accompanied by feelings of expansion, fluidity, happiness and lovingness.

Wow. Such an awesome experience . What it must be to meditate in woods and see and experience that. I don't think i have experienced such sudden breakthrough and lightness .For me it has always been very gentle and gradual ones. But it may depend on the degree of inner surrender which might take a while.

Vimal <3