Hi Zee - greetings and a warm welcome to Openhand

What stood out from your post was... "I feel like a horse that instinctively runs from danger."
So the 'fight or flight' mechanism kicks right in?
The possibility is then that some blind spot happens just before this fires off, so the reaction becomes automatic.
What you need to do, is work to get 'inside this automated loop' so as to break it down.

I would suggest taking some quiet time, and then regressing yourself into the last time it happened. Sit in stillness, then recall the situation, see the images and feel the feelings. Maybe it's some kind of emotional/mental trigger?

The key is to work to touch this trigger and interrupt it.
You might use strong breathing to do that for example. Touch the point, but then breathe deep, strong and fast so as to work to interrupt the trigger.

Then contemplate exactly what it is you're afraid of? Then work into your fears using the kind of "Breakthrough Approach" we've been outlining.

Do feel free to come back and inquire further about it.

Open