This is a wonderful exploration and I am enjoying reading others experiences and relating to so much here!

I feel a mix of things, I can totally relate to the meaningless, pointlessness … a sense of futility in creation.

A big one is that what feels real and beautiful and harmonious (an idealistic sense of existence) is not possible here...that is the continuous sense that feels crushing and de-motivating. What feels important and matters to me does not have a place and does not matter to others. (not actually true...but this is the experience which brings up the feelings)

The feeling that there is no place for me in a worldly sense… I feel connected to place in nature and listening to music and with kindred spirits … but when it comes to feeling part of the 3D tapestry it brings up a lot of feelings of isolation, disability, and panic…. The sense that I don’t fit here and often imagine how it would feel to be a bird or a tree… existing without the question of where do I fit? I can sense and be in this place of existence without questions or action… and yet there is some invitation to be part of this 3D world… I am here after all!