Confronted with the possibility of having a serious health issue (which turned out fine) I completely unwound...broke down and lost faith in the ways I believed, I felt jaded, hurt, biter that this was possibly happening, went as far as to speaking to the hand of benevolence (the nine masters)and wanting out of this spiritual way if this was the sacrifice. this was brief just a few days as I got tests done right away. I now feel confused, lost, disappointed , a bit of a fraud...as when push came to shove EVERYTHNG I resonated with so strongly from Open and Openhand , the catalysing tools, the guidance, all the ways to use these I knew, I thought I believed and was slowly integrating them on my journey...all seemed to not matter :(. I have shared many Openhand articles because I thought I resonated with them so strongly, did some meditation from Openhand, read Divinicus and the 5 gateways ( absolutely loved them both) thought I was doing well....then BAM!.. just a complete breakdown :(

I am so confused, I feel lost and alone for the first time on my Journey :(
I have read all the sharings from Marye and all the responses and it has been good, I know there are many Openhander's that come to this forum and provide invaluable feed back from their own personal experiences and knowledge and have been helpful to so many, I would so kindly appreciate anyone providing any input.

Steve