Hi Barb,

Yes, I can appreciate the victim mentality is a hard one to crack. Are you ready to do it?

I sense the question itself is beset with challenges - on the surface, mental level, you may willingly say "Yess!!" However, I sense at the emotional level, there is a strong identity around being the victim. It's important then to ask: "What does playing the victim get me? What do (I think) I gain?" Usually it's the comfort of knowing a situation and gaining some kind of attention in that place - even if it's negative attention, which supports the self-judgment you had in the first place.

Can you risk breaking this limitation open? By your own clear admission, being the victim doesn't get you anywhere - although this kind of dynamic would gain lots of attention on social media - which doesn't tend to go anywhere!

So where now?

You said this...

But it's so hard, especially when self-pity was learned early to provide relief where relief could be found nowhere else.

Yes, the path is hard. Which is why most never begin. Because it involves internal confrontation and a degree of sacrifice, which in a world of soft comfort, most people don't want to take on.

So, the shift tends to happen when you hit rock bottom, and realise it. Then how to begin?

Take one thing - meditation time, for example. Make a commitment to meditate, for just 5 minutes, on three consecutive days - set the alarm clock through the 5 minutes. Don't worry if the mind is busy and the body is aching. Just do it.

On the following three days, double the time to ten minutes. Then 20 minutes, until you're doing at least 30 minutes every day.

Then after that, confront other areas of your life - like time spent on social media and diet. Make a small change each day, that you know are possible. And then... keep making them!

This is how you can forge soul on any given day.

Until you realise something profound: it's the 'leaning in, and pushing against the friction', that actually brings joy with them. Because you know you're growing.

One final question: why did you not keep coming to the Openhand events? Because they are perfectly designed to help in this way.

Ascension Exchanges are coming right up... Ascension Exchanges 7th November
Maybe see you there.

Well wishes
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