I'd say the breathlessness is the key here.

It's not just about observing - that's only the beginning.

If you find yourself breathless, then it's because you're probably tightening and losing internal focus - giving too much externally.

You could try regressing into the situations when you have space and quietness. Start by breathing peacefully, then visualise the circumstances that make you feel tight.

What is it you think you need from the situation or can't accept about it?
Are you being their 'saviour'? Do you feel overly strong obligation for example?

Reflect on this: you can't truly give if you don't have.

There will always be something. Look for this, try to accept the moment as it is. My intuition tells me you probably empathically take on the energy of your kids. So instead, breathe deeply into your body whilst visualising the situation.

When you can do this by yourself, then start to apply it with your kids.

Best wishes

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