Hey Megha and Open,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your insights and reflections. The mention of Sirius tends to take me into a place where there is no feeling - like a blankness.

I had a dream last night that I was tempted into union with a manipulative energy - there was a draw toward it and I walked very close to the fire on that experience as it offered me a sense of power or specialness...but I did manage to pull away from it. Later in the dream I was bleeding from the womb and couldn't stop it. I feel like I have been drawn into these energies before...seduced by what it offered me and bleeding energy - giving my power away. Lately I have noticed how this manipulative energy shows up in more subtle forms. I see it sometimes with how I relate to my kids and within intimate relationships...the tendency to apply some subtle form of emotional manipulation like inducing empathy or guilt...it's a bit sickening to see this energy and how it operates within.

The other day as I was contemplating all of this shame/sense of disappointment, I was walking a big loop around a lake and a black snake slithered in the grass next to me - alarming the senses and stirring me back into the physical in a more full way. It's disturbance was actually helpful as it alerted me to the fact that I had reached the place I had began - I had come full circle. I often find the snake to be a helper to me - always showing up and rattling my consciousness.

I can see the correlation with the Ray 4...and I can also see the personal agendas...It's fascinating and disturbing to see how subtle little plays on words or energetic posturing can affect and push a particular outcome and how automated these programs have become.

I wonder what this all has to do with the sense of feeling challenged to share in deeper and more fulfilling relationship (which points back internally)...if there is any need to manipulate then there is a lack of trust and filters over honest expression....lots to contemplate and explore!

Thanks you guys for giving me more to chew on!

With love,

Jen