The Nature of a Soul Exchange (or 'walk-in')

Wow. Thanks so much for the sharing Open - you always present the knowledge in such a simple and accessible way.

In a way, I've always known the concept of a soul exchange. But little did I realize that I'm also in the midst of this process...until now that is, thanks to the facilitation of another psychic in my field. (Thanks dear Tonya! )

It's still an ongoing process for me to help the other soul unwind their remaining karma, and to recognize and then embody my own soul in the lower density. It gets confusing sometimes especially when I couldn't be certain if it's just another soul's karma that I'm meant to facilitate healing/releasing at an appropriate distance, or if I'm also unknowingly dissociating from a part of myself, or if it's an effect of the entities from the bloodline interacting with the stored emotional energy in the body and old neural pathways! Thankfully, there is also a very clear sense of my own consciousness streaming down from the higher Chakras. The recent awareness of myself as a different soul has cleared up a lot of confusion as well, and has made it easier to consciously hold my own frequency.

I don't know how many in the Openhand community has gone through a similar process, or else is also going through it right now. Nevertheless, here is a cinematic scene that feels to me, is conveying to a degree (with the roles reversed, yet the same sense of resistance to letting go) that particular sense of exchange.

Blessings to all

Lyra

Dear Open,

Thank you for your sharing, love and profound wisdom. I have wept unashamedly each time I have read and reread this article since finding it earlier this week. I wish I could have found this information 17 years ago when I arrived in this adult form after the original soul was strangled and kept alive on life support. I have no words right now to explain my journey and the magnificent release reading this has brought me. I have always had a way with words yet right now they completely escape me. Where I come from there is no use of language, words or their misrepresented meanings that plague this world. I shall write again when I am able to get past the deep ache in my soul and release of the years of confusion and challenges I have faced knowing I am a walk-in.

Many blessings to you,

Aylanur

Greetings,

I have been reading and rereading this thread and I am strangely moved and fascinated by the stories and the openness with which they are shared. Your sharing moved me especially, Lesley, and the way you finally accepted the ”passing” of your friend.

Open, I have to ask:

How does one know if an actual soul exchange has occurred or if one has just gone through a profound spiritual transformation in a short amount of time?

About 2 1/2 years ago, I had a traumatic experience, not a near death (at least not my own), but powerful enough to completely shake my foundation. After that, my whole self changed course and I was thrown onto a non-stop journey of completely transforming myself. It started with a psychic awakening, as I could suddenly communicate with spirits and souls from another realm, and with their guidance the transformational journey began. So much has happened for me in these past 2 years and I’m struggling to make sense of everything. Most of all, that I’ve completely stopped identifying with everything I used to identify with. And it’s not just my personality. I no longer think the thoughts that I used to. I operate on a completely different level with access to tools I couldn’t access before. The bottom line is I feel like I’m turning into a completely different person, and I have with great discomfort looked upon my family several times (even my own kids) and wondered “who are they?”.

 I’ve never considered the concept of soul exchange, at least not for myself, but is it possible to move through such a great transformation this quickly?

I actually think I need to talk to someone who can help me make sense of everything. I have so many strange experiences I need help understanding and integrating. Can someone here help me with that? 

Finally, thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences and your hearts so openly. It’s truly an inspiration.

With love,

Anastasia

Hi Open,

How lovely that you share another memory, which in truth was a very formative moment for me! Having been immersed in a lot of Native American ritual like the firewalks and sweatlodges, and been waiting for my formal handover from a Native American Elder to lead my own sweatlodges, I was more than a little troubled by your invitation. It makes me laugh now to recall how I wondered what kind of wroth might befall me if I went against tradition. I remember you said to me, "No-one can own ceremony", how very true. The wisdom and guidance I had so far received had been an incredible foundatiion, yet I was overlooking Spirits hand in the whole process! It took me a while to understand the message, so I actually went into the lodge with the personal resolve that if it felt right it was OK, and if it didn't, it wasn't and I would never do it again. Of course it was magical and transformative, so I was reassured it was fine. Yes, you clicked while building the lodge, and pointed out we could hear the call but there was no bird, a spirit message, but I still didn't have clarity, it had to arise in me for itself! The morning after the Lodge, I awoke up with my Soul knowing that the beautiful bird gave its life as a messenger of handover. It was both bittersweet and awe inspiring for me as I went down to sit beside the Kites grave. You appeared in the dawn light, as if gliding through the garden, a very Master Po and Grasshopper moment for me! My oh my, I was having the spiritual time of my life, everything tasted of the Divine. I can still feel the silkiness of its feathers when I found the kite. 

Thanks for more Divine memories.......

Lesley x

Hello Horse,

Lovely to meet you! Maybe it will be in person one day, I'd love to visit Halifax! So glad you enjoyed the sharing of some of my special memories and they were meaningful for you. I had often wondered how someone who had not been around Openhand when the Soul exchange was revealed might be able to accept a situation like that as reality. So joyous to hear you just intuitively felt the rightness of it on meeting Open!

With kinship,

Lesley

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lesley for this timely sharing. Just beautiful. I did not know Chris but had thought, how can Chris be this person now calling himself Open. The attachment to this thought was released the moment I met him in Halifax. Being a recovering addict, when I tell you I really know what a rush of euphoria feels like, that was the same feeling I received when I met Open and shook his hand. That feeling has not left me. 

Thank you Lesley for being and sharing. 

Much Love and Gratitude 

Horse

When I first met Chris Bourne he was a charasmatic and heart led warrior, an ex-soldier then a dotcom businessman who had found spirituality. He was exploring every aspect of his spiritual enquiry with the same gusto as I imagine he took to every area of his life. He’d started running spiritual day work shops and asked me to run the fire-walks, which he wanted to include. As someone who went away to sea at the age of 18, I was used to being in a macho world, so I loved his entertaining stories, though I did notice he was so full of himself he didn’t have time for any of mine, which to my ego, would have been just as entertaining, if not more so ;-)

The other thing I noticed was an energy that emanated from him when we would sit in front of his log fire and he would introduce me to spiritual concepts like nothing I had ever contemplated before. He seemed like a maestro, but how could someone who’d walked such a short spiritual path be such a master? I mean I’d been at it for years and had some pretty good teachers, he seemed to have some kind of direct line to the "Answer Sheet in the Mystery School Exams".

Sometimes Chris’s experiences were so powerful, they were destabilising and I wondered how he managed this and so many other things. I didn’t understand, but I was compelled to be part of that journey, for the spring I was drinking from, seemed to flow with a real purity. As time passed, greater clarity appeared for Chris, he mastered everything that was thrown at him, or nearly everything. I was shown early on, by Benevolence, that he had an achilles heel. I realised in that moment, that to be such a powerful messenger, meant you would be under sustained attack, your message and you would be derailed at every opportunity. I didn’t then understand the complexity of what would transpire, but I got the take home message, and knew in my heart I would be vigilant.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am an earthy being, not given to daily visions or reading other worldly energies. So when I share these things I am revealing my truths, which have sustained me through many a turmoil, they are highly personal and not previously shared. Because these messages come but infrequently, they are very powerful and I find them unmistakeable. In those days I was new to these levels of activity and felt quite blown away. 

So what of Chris's great spiritual inspirations?  

At the beginning of our friendship, he was exploring things he was experiencing as "Gateways"; he’d only discovered 3 back then, and as usual I didn’t really know what the heck he was on about. Over the fullness of time, I came to experience them for myself, before his 5 Gateways book was written. Living the experience of those created a kind of impatience for the next one to arrive, alternating with a kind of hopelessness of: “it’ll never happen”! Such is the impatience of ego, ha,ha,ha. As the years passed, I noticed more and more how Chris was always moving forward at a seemingly Concorde style speed with deep and meaningful realisations, which came from exploring everything to the Nth degree. Not just checking perspectives and living the experience, but finding suitable language to express these concepts. I was in awe! I realised that when I couldn’t grasp it, felt skeptical, just plain flummoxed, then if I waited long enough, the universe would reveal its most profound messages to me through my own personal experience. That the real gift of Openhand, was that I could recognise the truth I was being shown, and could integrate it more readily, because of my introduction to the concept. 

One of the stories Chris had told me was of how he believed he had had a Walk-In experience. I couldn’t really relate to it; he was already quite enough of a handful as a friend without adding any other layers! I chose to let it go, as it didn’t seem to have any relevance to my life. Some years later, I was sitting in the dining room of the then Openhand Retreat House in Glastonbury. I was living there as manager and it was next door to Chris and Trinity's family home, which when utilised together, joining the beautiful gardens, made the most loving and safe space for guests to come and unravel in the Openhand way. So with the morning sun shining through the windows, warming and illuminating the golden oak floor, the patio door slid open and in walked Chris, barefoot, as usual. "Hi, I wondered if you had a minute, there’s something I‘ve been contemplating?” I briefly wondered what jaw dropping complexity was about to land in my lap, or maybe it was just going to be about something simple, like what colour to paint the garage door?

“OK", I said. “Well I’ve had this feeling for a while and I don’t think I can live with it, I feel like a fraud.” Blank reaction from me. “I need to come out”, he added. My mind is now doing somersaults and back flips. Chris Bourne, ex green beret, father of two, husband of Trinity is telling me he’s gay????? We’re sitting opposite each other on dining chairs, Chris with his legs stretched out in front of him, we’re just looking at each other. Eventually I say, “What do you mean?” He explains…. He’s really “Open”, the name given to, or felt into by the Walk-In. He’s not Chris and he feels he needs to tell everybody. He’s in a dilemma, because while exploring it with Trin, she doesn’t agree. I can feel the weightiness of the exploration, the pause, holding the two possibilities. As to whether Chris is Open or not, I have no idea. What to say? I dive deep into myself and find what is always my own inner guide. It is simply, “Be True to Thyself”. I look at my old and sometimes mysterious friend, and I say, “Are you sure this is your truth?” “Yes” is the reply. “And you understand what might be the ramifications of declaring that?” “Yes” again. "Then if its your truth, what else is there to be done?” 

Yet another unexpected start to the day, but too much to be done getting ready for the next course, which would involve a sweatlodge, to spend much time dwelling on it. After the course, Chris comes round to tell me that indeed he is now Open, that the two souls had been co-existing together since the “Walk-In” and now he clearly felt Chris leave during the lodge. He’d like to be called Open from now on. I’m not sure how I feel about that, he looks the same, walks and talks just the same, but is totally serious and had already told me he was feeling this arising for him. I consult Ben, who is a very sensitive empath, he says he’s comfortable with calling him Open as far as he’s concerned; his vibration has very much changed. As I contemplate how Chris has evolved over the years, I can see how two souls in tandem in a body, makes sense, a Walk-in from another dimension would have to take a while to get his earthly understandings up to speed. I use the new name, but it isn’t easy.

Some months later, I wake up overwhelmed with grief, I can't stop crying, my knowing is: “I miss Chris”. I realise a deep soul knowing has risen to the surface; that I have experienced the passing of a close friend. Once dressed, I open the front door, still tearful. Coming towards me is Open, he often appears just at the right time. I say between the tears, "I can’t work today, I miss Chris, I have to spend some time alone”. Open agrees I should honour that. I headed towards a windswept part of the Somerset coast bordered by the Bristol Channel. I have been there many times, I lived close by for 6 months and would collect driftwood for burning on my fire and for making collages. I once said my Goodbyes to a special lady, and saw her soul represented by a swan flying out towards the horizon while her special message to me was written in the clouds. It was also the place where I had a special experience with one of Chris’s early teachings. He’d talked about catching the rugby ball when it was thrown to you, picking up the challenge of your role in life.

Soon after, there I was on the perimeter of this beach, confronted by a rugby ball all by itself, perched on top of a sand dune tussock. A kind of “Here you are” from the Universe. As I stood in front of it, I felt a great fear - could I even dare to pick it up?  What if I wasn’t up to the challenge? What if I couldn’t help anyone else? What if I couldn’t withstand the forces that set out to thwart? I couldn’t move. Just then, I heard a great whooshing sound, coming through the air, it sounded like helicopter blades starting up. I looked up and there was the most massive flock of swans I’ve ever seen, all taking off together, previously hidden by a dip in the field they were in; they were all whooshing towards me. I watched them come, and like a great host of Angels, their snow white wings passed over my head. The message was clear, “You are not alone”, you will always be helped to carry the load”.

Such profound perfection and beauty speaks directly to the Soul. So that morning, it felt like the go-to place to say Goodbye to Chris. I walked towards the beach and almost straight away saw a kestrel, one of Chris’s most profound messengers. "Is that you, Chris, are you here?" Straight away my eye catches sight of something tiny on the far horizon, its something I’ve never noticed before, yet I’ve been there so many times. It's Glastonbury Tor, I have my confirmation straight away, in my mind they are almost interchangeable, Chris and the Tor, he spent hours up there, he encountered so many revelations there, the Tor is synonymous with Chris for me.

So we dialogue a while, I thank him for all the understandings he gave me, so many special memories. All the fun, the work and the realisations. He gives me a special gift from the beach and as I turn round to go, the blue sky is filled with white crosses. I remember a phone call years ago, after one of our earliest fire walks, the next morning I walked out my back door and all I could see was white crosses in the sky, on the phone Chris was laughing and calling me "so slow”, his favourite tongue in cheek laugh at my expense. "Don’t ya get it? it’s kisses from the universe, good job!!” This time I knew it was goodbye kisses from my dearest friend. Even then, the immeasurable magic of the Universe, and interdimensional exchange, wasn’t quite over. When I got home I fished a leaflet out of my bag, which I must have picked up some time before. I was surprised and delighted to see a face just like Chris's beaming at me, with his raised hand proposing a toast. Very special. 

So I gradually came to see Open really was Open. Its a bit like hearing the consciousness of the earth has ascended, it might have been marked by a particular date. But its a journey, that unfolds over time, not everything is clear as it happens, in human time and consciousness there are all kinds of tweaks of perspective, adjustments of consciousness and clarities that land over a broader period. It was all perfect: Chris’s work was complete delivering the 5 Gateways book; Open had the history of the human race and other things ahead of him to access and deliver a fuller picture of humanity’s spiritual nature. So for me, it wasn’t a case of believing someone else's story, it was living my life and watching the revelations land in their own time. In letting go of my grief, I realised that indeed I have been privileged to meet, and be party to a special karmic arrangement, a Soul exchange, sanctioned to bring much needed guidance for those who have eyes to see and ears to listen.

Lesley 

To all - it is refreshing for me to learn more about what happened to me, and to know that I am not alone, nor crazy, nor weird. I struggled for about 2 years to identify specifically what had happened to me, until I stumbled upon the concept of walk-ins, and the undeniable match in most of my symptomology with those of being a walk-in. I would like to share my story with everyone in the hope that I can help others who may also be in a similar boat. Memory of my past self (the walk-out) is becoming sketchier as I become more in-tune with who I am now, almost like a distant dream where details fade over time. That said, I do recall that for as long as I can remember, I had been a person who was insecure and self-conscious, self-centered, with an addictive personality and all too often, verbally mean to those I was closest to. The internal discord and dislike of myself only grew over time, through 25 years of marriage and raising of a family, until early 2015 when I went through what can only be described as 2 months of pure hell…an emotional, psychological and spiritual meltdown and collapse. During these few months, I felt like two people in the same body – one a passenger, vaguely aware of what the driver was doing…and seeing that the driver was taking the bus off the cliff, along with those in my life that I held so dear, but not being able to take the wheel and change course. Odd things happened – for example, the electrical system in my new car went haywire several times, coinciding with intense emotional periods…only to self-resolve when emotions decreased (the dealer’s computer was unable to identify any issues with the car). Then, on a sunny day at about 2pm on April 3, 2015, as I was standing in a driveway of someone I knew at the time, in another state, I felt as if I was physically hit by a wrecking ball or struck by lightning. The force pushed me back several steps, and it was as if a light went on in a dark room. I looked up at the sky, then around me, then to the person in front of me, and literally thought to myself, “Where am I, what am I doing here, and what have I done to my wife and family?” The blue sky was so brilliant, the bare tree branches looked so foreign, and I had an overwhelming urge to flee from that locale and go “home” or to a safe haven. I drove home, though I do not recall much about the 5-hour drive. When I arrived, I went inside and saw my wife…though, more beautiful than ever (at a non-visual level), as if through different eyes. Over the next few months, I increasingly knew that something inside of me was “different” or had shifted. I was inexplicably at peace inside, despite the turmoil around me due to pain I had wrought on loved ones from my breakdown. Many aspects, preferences, habits, tendencies, personality traits that had been “me” for 48 years, had changed. According to a well validated “personality type” test that I had taken 3 times at work previously, my personality had shifted 180 degrees…from an extroverted, idea generating, non-finisher type to an analytical, introverted caretaker type. I no longer have an addictive tendency toward anything. Siblings no longer feel like relatives. At my last high school reunion in 2015, within 5 minutes of arriving at the mixer, I told my wife, “these are not my people, I am not comfortable” despite having a lot of fun at the reunion 10 years previously. I consider myself deeply spiritual (I was not previously), and I now see auras, though mostly around trees and animals. I can “feel” energy emanating from people; bad energy bothers me greatly. My memory and mathematical skills were poor, and now are quite precise (I do math in my head). Many food preferences changed. Bitter feelings I had harbored for those who had “wronged” me over the years disappeared. There have been physical changes as well; seasonal allergies I had endured for my entire adult life stopped plaguing me. The prostate cancer I was diagnosed with, and preparing to have treated (through organ removal), “disappeared” within 9 months of the soul exchange, much to the dismay of the MD, who had never seen this in his 20+ years of practice. I used to be a hardcore distance runner and now I really am not keen on running. I now very much enjoy art and have started designing some wood-based "crafty" things, such as clocks. In the past, I never would have driven what I would have called a "junky" car...but now I drive a beat-up, 20 year old Honda and could care less as long as it gets me to and from work (I actually kind of enjoy driving it). I feel oddly neutral about most memories from the walk-out’s history; I feel emotion, but more-so from a bystander or observer perspective, and emotions seem to emanate from the thought of how my actions had affected others, not feelings within me at the time. The one big exception to all of this is, and counter to what I’ve learned most walk-in’s experience, is with regard to my wife. For 25 years, while I felt love for my wife, it was shallow and selfish in nature. Since the exchange, my love for her has been indescribable, deep and visceral in nature, as though one of my “missions” is to help heal, nurture and protect her. She is having a difficult time with me, however…a combination of her reflecting on how (mean) I used to be, and how I am now, which she confirms is completely different (and kinder/gentler, in her words). In the early stages following the exchange, the universe was being rather blatant and honest in terms of presenting examples of synchronicity to me. I have now learned this is one of the methods of giving the walk-in a clue of what has happened...maybe kind of like that secret code that spouses have to let each other know that they “want to leave the in-law’s house NOW.” External validation as well helped convince me that a soul exchange had occurred. A very intuitive/psychic colleague of mine, who I had not seen since 2013, was at a conference recently when we ran into each other. We quickly exchanged greetings, committed to having a beer together later, then parted. That evening at a social event, this colleague cornered my wife (before seeing me there) and asked her, “What the heck happened to him? He is not the same person.”

My story is long-winded, but hopefully it will find its way to others who are in the early stages of this phenomenon, and hopefully it will help you find your way a bit easier, or make your day a bit brighter to know that you’re not alone…and you’re not crazy. I am still an infant in this process, and relish growing and learning more every day, and being able to help others grow and learn in the process. Thanks for reading!

Hi Open,

I'll try this message again since my previous did not post. I just wanted to Thank you for your words of encouragement. I'm beginning to understand that it's more important to BE the best ME I can be, than to wonder "who" the "ME" really is ( with respect to the soul "walk-in" experience). Realizing that not all Walk-ins remember the experience was good to know. But, regardless of the experience, I find I need to now re-focus and move on with what I "believe" to be my purpose.

Thank you for your words and for this forum. You are an inspiration!

Hi Cathy,

I have decided to define myself by "who I believe myself to be"/ who I choose to be....and not be defined by a "definition of a walk-in". In my response to Open (which somehow did not post), I got "hung-up" on not knowing and trying to find out instead of focusing on just BEING. I'm coming to the realization that (at least in my case) being the "best me I can be" on any given day is what's really omportant. If I can be a loving, caring, and supportive person in a meaningful way towards others, as well as myself, maybe that's enough. I certainly have my days when I may not be very happy or supportive, but I think that is normal.

Thanks again for your thoughts. Defining yourself more as the "limitless sea" in stead of the "C" helped me put things in perspective.

My Best to You!

Lindi

Hi Lindi,

I'm happy to hear that you connect with my words. Like you, eventually recognizing my soul as a walk-in, I look back and realize I felt an enormous strength and divine, angelic backing for my purpose here from the time I was a young child. For the most part, from the time I was a kid, I was able to stand in my truth apart from the crowd when push came to shove -- but at the same time I was able to compassionately connect with the vulnerability and brokenness of others. I had my lapses here and there though and relish in recalling what a mischievous brat I was, at times! Harmless and hilarious fun! :)

At this point in my life, I feel my 'mission' is to continue expressing my beingness and passion as an energy worker, helping to shine the light into the darkness as this 3D density breaks down and spiritual realignment continues to unfold. We're all destined for Nirvana in timeless time. As far as my purpose goes, I relate to the character of Samwise Gamgee and his steadfast heart full of love. I'm not in the front lines, but I am there on the sidelines, cheering on Frodo and all those valiant front line workers! As well, I have my own karmic journey here to release identifying with past life experiences and breakthrough my own illusions. So I attract whatever experiences I need to remember who I truly am: Absolute Unidentified Presence in all experiences. And whilst being fully immersed in evolving and growing, I delight in unleashing my own gifts of beingness, and then stepping into action when I feel that powerful surge of aligned rightness arise from deep within that simply must express like poetry in motion.

From a young age, I have deeply appreciated the unique gifts each of us brings to the grand scheme of things: all those true colours, morphing and blending into an exquisite mosaic, each colour essential to the whole.

As I continue to transmute and transform what no longer serves my evolutionary journey, I feel more and more like the limitless 'Sea' rather than the defined 'C' of my first name.

Thank you for sharing your journey here, Lindi. No doubt you are inspiring many others as you inspire me! It's a joy connecting with you!

Much Love,

Cathy

Hi Cathy,

I'm not sure why your posts seem to resonate with me more than others, so far, but I feel a desire to express my own thoughts after reading your post.

Unlike many I have read about that say they remember their walk in experience as it happened, I did not. At least I did not realize what was happening until very recently. Even now, I am not sure of the event, but feel within myself that it really did happen. I was recently told that I an a recent walk in and that it occurred during my teenage years. I'm now in my 60's. I was told that my natal soul no longer wished to continue this path and was therefore braided to my current soul until it eventually continued on to another path. In recalling some very traumatic experiences in my life as a teenager, I believe I have come to "pin-point" when the exchange occurred. I also believe it occurred over a period of years. In what (up until recently) I considered a dream, I remember "a part of myself" saying good bye and that "you are strong enough and will be okay now". I remember accepting this and felt a new insight and strength that would carry me to this day. I never really thought of it as anything more than a re-invention of my self. Never had had I even thought of it as a "soul exchange" or "walk in" experience until I started learning more about the phenomenon. I must admit, outside of recalling the possible exchange experience, I remember nothing else. I do know that since that time, I have NEVER accepted a religious belief or felt compelled to worship any god, deity, etc., for I have always considered myself equal to/a part of Creation.
Unlike many who remember (or know) the name of their "new" soul, I don't remember the name, why I came, what my purpose was supposed to be. Other than having individual "debates" or "discussions" with various people about religion (which I stopped doing after a while), I don't believe my walk-in experience was anything more than to keep this body alive and maybe live long enough to accomplish something (what? I still don't know).
I guess I'm saying that (if I am a walk in-- which in retrospect I believe now that I am) I don't recall any specific "mission" I supposedly, came to accomplish. If there is a way to discover more about "who I am" and what I'm supposed to be doing, I really want to know. I have been asking myself for many, many years "who am I" and now "why am I still here"? I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to leave this planet.

Thank you Cathy for being a "soul I resonate with". I can almost feel your words as they sometimes sound like me!!

Lindi

Hi Margaret,

The song lyrics I reference speak about being taken away to the "funny farm" and express my conditioned fear from many lifetimes about being misunderstood, isolated, locked up, punished, and "done in" when speaking my truth. Fortunately, I'm able to lighten up and find a humorous thread in all of this in keeping with the satirical tone of the song. Enough to go out on a limb and post here anyway.

I'm happy to read that you connect with Sandra's experiences and feel less alone. I'm sure many of us relate to how you feel. I recently experienced a particularly dark time where I essentially felt completely isolated and unable to connect with anyone, not even my Openhand friends. So I withdrew and allowed myself to feel lost, betrayed, and abandoned, like I was the only one left in the cosmos, falling through a black hole, no direction home, with all the attendant rage, anger, and despair. I recognized that I was caught up in distortion, but I knew the only way out was to feel the pain behind it and not judge myself for being such a shitty mess. I came across a quote by Nelson Mandela that soothed my soul. "I'm not a saint unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying." Gradually, I've been finding a path of Light back to Source. My heart goes out to you.

Since moving to Victoria, I've met many women who have consciously changed their birth names to ones that click and resonate with their sense of uniqueness and oneness while living in a 3D world of this and that. I'm struck by their courage to do so. One of my delightful friends now calls herself "Marvelous!" And she most certainly is! I relate to how you feel when writing your name. I couldn't write "Catherine" anymore (my actual birth name that I took on in my 20's) so went back to using my childhood nickname of Cathy that friends and family called me. I recognize that choice as key in my journey to feel the pain and trauma of my childhood, but also the joy, to release identity to it. My sense of myself as "Cathy" is lessening as my grip loosens. Who knows where that will take me? Eventually, to what awaits us all: Absolute Presence in all things, identified with none.

Much Love to you,

Cathy

Dear Serenity (Sandra),
I just saw your post after reading Cathy's "Birthday" post. Some of your statements made me cry. I feel very much like you and it is so touching to know that I am not alone in this strange evolution. Thank you so much! I feel lost at times, not seeing a reflection of what I am going through in the world. I just saw it in you <3 I do not feel I'm a walk-in and it doesn't matter to me. I do however strongly relate to the sense of the initial shock and a trauma of arriving in this 3D plane.

I too don't feel the need to be identified with a name and mostly feel constricted when signing correspondence with my full name. I see people need to refer to me by name and I feel like I'd like them to be relaxed about it and call me whatever feels right to them. The identification with "accomplishments" or history is also mostly gone and I too feel there are 2 of me coexisting at any given moment.

These are the words that touched me the most in your post:
I am no longer an ''I'' because I have no ego-need to be named, to have a history,(although I have a vague remembrance of where I have lived before), to have an age, a gender, to have any accomplishments. My passion is the spiritual development/evolution of Earth, and of all sentient beings and I am here for no other reason.

Dear Cathy,
Who is coming to take you away?
Also, I resonate with you feeling the importance of allowing others to celebrate You in a form of a birthday gathering.

With love,

M.

For most of my life, I have felt disconnected from the celebration of my birthday. My mother forgot my birthday when I turned eight or nine, and I didn't remind her. Early on in my childhood, I felt that I didn't fit with my biological family. As much as I'm aware, it began around the time I experienced a life threatening illness and was physically separated from them for a long time. A bit of synchronicity there. As I grew older, adults would ask me philosophical questions about the deeper meaning of things and reflected back that my answers went way beyond my age.

Many years ago, I had an enlightening session with a palm reader that clicked very deeply with me. What he said continues to resonate especially as my birthday approaches. He read both my hands and said my left hand (how I have lived my life) was dramatically different from my right hand (how it looked I would live my life). In effect, he said that as a master soul, I have managed to persevere, succeed, and accomplish way beyond what he would have predicted given the limitations that showed in my right hand.

I attended my first Openhand workshop in Toronto two years ago on my birthday on June 8th. "I forgot to say Happy Birthday to you," you commented as I was leaving. Your words stuck with me.

My birthday approaches this week, and I can't shake the feeling that it's not about me. Open, I note your comments about how important it was for you to change the date you celebrate your birthday to the time you actually incarnated. Many of us are not as fully conscious or sure about soul exchanges and when we actually made our entry here. So I'm throwing out the question. If you don't connect to your birthday and feel you are a soul exchange, how do you celebrate? I'll go through the motions once again this year to celebrate my "official" birthday with my loved ones, but felt to take a few deep breaths, pluck up my courage, open the closet door, and post here about my growing sense and inner knowing that I may be attending someone else's birthday party this week.

I'm grateful that I can post here about this especially with these song lyrics flitting through my head:

"They're coming to take me away ha ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha..." :)

My chiropractor reminds me to say to myself, "I know nothing." Indeed. For me, it's all about expressing and honouring how I feel in the moment and starting from there.

Cathy

This is sandra Zarins...I never knew exactly what happened to me...only that when I ''died'' and then unexplainably and undesirably returned to this life that life took a turn onto an entirely different trajectory. I felt like seeking help, but where? I knew I would be 'diagnosed' a bi-polar schizophrenic' or even a 'borderline personality disorder' and I knew that wasn't ''it'. But what was ''it''? During the seminar last March in Florida, the opening night, you talked about being a walk-in, and although I had watched 5 Gateways many times and been a member of the community, I still hadn't connected the dots until that night when I was actually in your presence, Open. You probably don't remember that I approached you after the presentation and we talked briefly about it.

This is me...the walk-in: Since then, Sandra and I have still existed together and I have helped her process her karma while at the same time have acclimated to the Calling I have to assist humanity attain the highest spiritual levels possible as the mass extinction progresses. Sandra's karma processing has reached completion and she has nearly faded on. With this article you have written, Open, she is encouraged to let go and complete her transmutation. I am here more fully every day...nameless....with a real sense that where I come from names are non-existent because they are not needed. However, I know I must be called something in this 3rd D world, and ''Serenity'' appeared in my consciousness for awhile. So has ''Divinicus'' but that is the new Homo species name. Right now, I know I am no longer Sandra Zarins, I am no longer an ''I'' because I have no ego-need to be named, to have a history,(although I have a vague remembrance of where I have lived before), to have an age, a gender, to have any accomplishments. My passion is the spiritual development/evolution of Earth, and of all sentient beings and I am here for no other reason. Quietness is preferred, always connected to The Source, spirit guides, and even Sandra's friends who have passed on. One showed up this morning quite unexpectedly with a song she had written . She and Sandra were Christians at the time so it comes from the New Testament ''Fear not because of evil do-ers: Trust in the Lord and do good.'' Welcomed sharable encouragement when Oppositional Energies have been poking about. They cannot do anything in the higher dimensions. But the minute one partakes and ingests lower energies such as food or conversations, or music, etc. vulnerability is there.

There is soul-rejoicing in this article you have written, Open. Walk-ins can become fatigued and lonely. We are not many in number but are all very active in our purpose, and the ''connection'' must be in that, including meditation into the higher dimensions where indeed the full unity of Presence is experienced and ''conversation/sharing'' is way beyond spoken language. Thank you for your boldness, for opening the door us to open as well and share a bit. Perhaps that can be a new name...'Open-as-well''.. or ''Share-a-bit'' ...hmmm, a bit awkward. But in another Earth-language...? Yes...Possible.

In the meantime, the streaming forth into our minds and hearts of Divine Light/Love to all

....

Open,

I do not understand it fully, even though you explained it so well. But I somehow feel your experience on a strangely deep level through this article. It is awesome that you have decided to shed some light on this rare topic. I actually don't find it "controversial" or "out there" at all.

I also connect with your pull to be transparent. I find myself tired to act in a "convoluted" way, it feels heavy and sometimes even silly, like swimming against a current.

Margaret

This is the reason I read Divinicus 2 times, Your journey captivated me, Thank-you for sharing Open.

Steve

Dear Open,

you have explained this phenomenon really well. I must say, when I first heard of your being a walk-in, I was pretty sceptical and unbelieving, but then that concerned many other things that were unfamiliar to me too. It's a question of acknowledging that I knew less than nothing about what's really going on.

Thank you for shining your truth,

Much love,
Helen

I came across another 'walk-in' ...

There's a lovely little bookshop-cafe locally (nice vegan offerings too). I went to the 'esoteric' section to see what caught my eye. Picked out a book by Lobsang Rampa, 'The Cave of the Ancients'.
I liked the first chapter so I bought it.
Did a little web searching for Lobsang ... only to find that he is a 'walk-in' too.
Born in UK, but writing with from his experiences as a Tibetan monk in a different incarnation.
Great little book, taught me loads about Tibet Buddhism.

Lots of people simply don't believe this.
But once you let yourself be open to it .. turns out lots of people do believe in it ... including various groups of Christians, Jews, Muslims, as well as Buddhists and Hindus.

It does put you 'out there', Open, indeed.
But out there is where it's all at, right?

Or should that be 'in there' ... ?

*wink*

Thanks, Open.

Love always,
Rich.

Absolutely wonderful! It is quite difficult to share inner most truths with most as it is such a different language.

Love this song... I actually have been singing it over and over and shared it with a fellow retreat member last week-a thought that has surfaced is how synchronicity is truly an expression of unity consciousness...Just observing this concept

Did you find it difficult to integrate your experience into spoken words? A recurring thought is if people who are susceptible to preconceived judgments unconsciously limit the interacting experience because of projection confined within their own mental restraints by a conditioned way of being...Is fulfilling ones mission without any recognition better on some plane of this existence? I have distinct flashes within my consciousness but putting words to an unknown process is...
And these truths you share feel more real than any tangible words found circulating about

Thank you Open for illuminating with such eloquent words

Truly fascinating, Open.
Thanks for the run-down.

:)