Intentional Manifesting, Authentic Choice, and Truly Letting Go

Hi M.

Last week I pulled the "fear" card from the Voyageur tarot deck in my astrology planetary archetypes/base chakra course. When I returned home that night, I realized that I had scooped the card up along with my papers. There it was staring me in the face. It belongs to my astrology teacher! She says no-one has ever taken one of her cards home before. What a powerful message for me. So these days, I am welcoming fear most often related to the collapse of industrial civilization and its impact on my children and all children of the world. Being a highly sensitive empath, I pick up fear from the surrounding energy field. Then there's my own. It feels overwhelming at times. All in all, lots to process.

I'm being given lots of opportunities these days to share the Openhand approach with local groups of people in various settings. It was interesting to observe the response of the other participants when I pulled the "fear" card in my astrology class. There was a sympathetic hush in the room and looks of concern. I could feel their fear. So it was a perfect opportunity to explain that I welcomed the card and did not consider it to be either good or bad but simply a reflection of what I'm feeling so I can self-realize through it.

I can see how empowering oneself immediately in the moment of dis-empowerment would feel as though they are one and the same. Poof! What is really real? Everything and nothing. Say what?!

C. (sea)

Hello C ("See") ... I love this new nickname of yours, I like that you change your perception of yourself. It happens to me also and a lot. ;-)

What you said made me think that the dis-empowerement is the opportunity to be empowered. Then, I felt strongly that they are one and the same or neither is real as they seem to cancel each other out in my perception. Strange. Lots of concepts get cancelled out in my consciousness recently. So much ceases to be real and I sometimes wonder what will remain... (a bit of a trepidation there, but it's ok as the part of me that loves the concepts and structures is also fading away).

I like the poem and the notion of welcoming the gifts-bearing guests. My most frequent guest as of lately is Mr. Confusion. Who is yours?

M.

Hi M.

It's so not easy to open the door and welcome suffering in. Yet I feel in my heart that it's the only way to transcend even the most horrendous karma and break through to the Light beyond. As you say, it's important to be conscious of what wants to unfold and unwind. Ideally, to continually empower ourselves in the moment of dis-empowerment. I don't always get it "right", but I am becoming more conscious of who I am being in the here and now and going from there. Exploring here with y'all on this forum helps big time.

Rumi's poem, The Guest House, comes to mind:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Love,

C. ("see")

Dear Erica,
You said:
“We are not the reaction nor the intentional choice.. We are what precedes all then I feel to use the body as an expression for the energy that arises as in this earth form we are free to express within each moment defined as the Seven Rays of Divine Impulse.”

Your words reminded me that we are eternal and timeless. There is really no urgency or need to fix anything. I do however feel such a strong drive to push myself and explore the tapestry of the human experience. I sometimes think (mind speaking here) that perhaps I should be more contemplative, sit still more and empty the mind, but this is NOT me. The emotions feel like movements of raw energy, everything is so close to the surface now. I feel the fragments of my soul pulling me towards them and into the experience. Something is different now though. The circumstances present me with a choice now, where there was one option before.

You said:
“(…) allowing the rays to burst forth depending upon the energy generated. To be sensitive to feel the impulse but not judge. To feel the boundary of the unseen that comes into the field, to remain open and true”

Ah, there is such a richness of expression! Thank you for these words. My heart is filled with gratitude for the awareness of choice and the vulnerability and freedom that comes with it. It’s been really challenging to go beyond ray one, this exploding fire, the dominating presence, jumping into action. There are trying times ahead of me and with that comes a tremendous opportunity to soar. I’m taking a step each day with a trepidation and even greater incurable curiosity. :-)

Oh my GOD, it's going to be big, I know that.

M.

Dear M.

Hanging out with the neuro-pathways describes it oh so well. For me, it's like hanging loose with old, familiar friends. Being me with nothing to prove. Kicking back and shooting the shit with no particular place to go. Open to whatever. Could be light. Could be heavy. Could be laughter. Could be tears. Then one day realizing that I've moved on and don't hang anymore.

Thanks for taking me deeper, M.

C.

P.S. Erica, just read your post after posting mine. Thank you for your sunny rays and insights!

Yes M and Cathy

I've found discernment to play a role when the mind is calculating all the variables.then allowing the rays to burst forth depending upon the energy generated. To be sensitive to feel the impulse but not judge. To feel the boundary of the unseen that comes into the field, to remain open and true

"You see the problem is this: often these 'intentional choices' are happening because we can't fully accept the moment just as it is; nor the purpose of the moment, which is to reveal the magic and splendor of who we truly are."

We are not the reaction nor the intentional choice.. We are what precedes all then I feel to use the body as an expression for the energy that arises as in this earth form we are free to express within each moment defined as the Seven Rays of Divine Impulse without exertion of the will that is seemingly tainted by past experience or deep karmic experiences repressed that subconsciously controls behaviors.

"The soul has various characteristics which are all related essences of the One (see The Seven Rays of Divine Impulse). These are expressions of the One: like the sense of will, power, strength, courage, compassion, joy, acceptance, timelessness, spacelessness, contentment to name just a few. These are the authentic impulses that when allowed to, make authentic choices. This happens all by itself, they emerge from the soul. They don't have to be manifested, they are the intrinsic nature of the soul. In fact trying to manifest these qualities only squeezes the juice out of them - you're left with a dim shadow."

I feel the dimness happens when words tangle up the mind trapping or distorting the energy often by all the wiring that has been established through a path of least resistance..

Much love
Erica

Oh, the judgement is such a timely topic for me! Thank you for bringing it up. When we enter the consciousness realm armed with a strong intention and attachment to the outcome, it's like waving an ax against air. Exhausting! It can be tricky for people like you and I, with a strong warrior energy, to not throw ourselves at the "issue". Hhhh...

I found that pure child-like curiosity allows me to gently enter the unchartered realm of unconscious behaviours. The ray 1 drives the first move, but after that it's just non-directed exploration and hanging out with the neuro-pathways. Personally, when I aim for something percise and direct, like "I want to be outside of identity" it creates one and I'm back in the bubble. Curiosity feels free and allows for holding wider perception and it happens organically for me.

Thanks for sharing,

M.

Thanks everyone for the discussion about re-wiring neural pathways. Like the seasoned warrior I am, I threw myself full force into realigning and re-wiring my neural circuitry with my well-honed discipline, commitment, vim and vigor, and I thought I had it beat. The key words here are "force" and "beat". There was a good deal of repression and judgment going on that I wasn't conscious of. I so badly wanted to exit the dark side and take up the sword of light.

An Openhand quote that resonates strongly with me says more or less, "Light and dark are simply judgments that we can rise above and soar beyond." Of course that applies to notions of good and bad, as well.

So now I'm allowing the conditioned neural pathways to play out as I release judgment and denial, conscious of my attachment to them. Effortless is a free-flowing energy without identity. It's a curious paradox that I can re-wire only if I fully accept. It feels like I'm in limbo, waiting. Sometimes it feels like a scary place. So I continue to breathe, meditate, and surrender everyday as best as I can and infuse the light of my soul through all the efforting and holding on.

Love to all,

C.

So beautiful! I love the analogy of training the vines, Erica.

It made me think that if we don’t tend our garden, our neural circuitry, then something/somebody-else probably will. We are trained from very early on how to feel and what to be. We then forget we have the freedom of choice in every moment, and we so often give it up. Perhaps it is because we’ve been led to believe there is no choice or there is a choice between A and B only?

I’m in my garden, digging deep, plowing through pain, staying with it as long as it needs me to, no hurry, no shortcuts. I’m choosing to soften into the pain, get acquainted with it, be with it. No rush. It’s worth it. And it melts my heart to feel that the Universe is with me every step of the way. It is so intimately close, whispering into my ear I sometimes feel its warm breath. It's that tangible.

I went to the park today to feel into a sense of being trapped by an old bundle of beliefs. I heard a struggle near the dirt path… a snake caught a bird. The bird was resisting, still fighting to stay alive. This made me sick to my stomach. I felt like the bird, having no choice, fighting a losing battle. My legs became shaky and I had to sit on a bench and softened into the fear, the defeat, the resignation as well as I could.

I don't know how long I was sitting there, but eventually something switched in the consciousness. I felt slightly different, kind of lighter and maybe even ok with the situation. I looked up. There was a long cloud in the sky and it carried an uncanny resemblance to a snake head with an eye, mouth and scales. Whoa! Then a group of cheerful birds took off and were flying between me and the snake-cloud. To me this meant, the snake (the perceived threat) was an illusion. But I am real! It was the resistance that hurt the most. This new awareness anchored me into something profound, the universal truth perhaps, and I remembered the words of an old Sensei: “if you want to move me, you have to move the Universe”.

Each time we stay present and soften into what wants to arise, we create a new way of being and are anchored deeper into the Universe. This way we also retrain our neurons and their synapses. And wherever there is awareness, there is free will. The distortions live in the subconscious. They pull the invisible strings in the shadows of our existence, engaging same old neuro-pathways.

As long as there is blood flowing in our veins we can make a commitment to claiming our power back. The opportunity to be present with the current narrative, to flood it with awareness and reclaim our free will is always here. Be patient, be present, break free. It’s time.

M.

Rayko and M

I have been seeing feeling the neural pathways connected within the physical being all seemingly set to create self induced comfort that feels binding to the soul yet essential.

Today as I was tending the peas, I noticed their vines reaching out wrapping around eachother like holding hands... They were winding tightly together to support each others growth while it was beautiful and enabled growth, I found myself separating them to help them reach ever higher toward the sky to bring them up as together they were creating this garden hovering close to the earth. Separated, I encouraged the vines to wrap to some bamboo, but the memory of their previous growth within their own progression and growth was still visible on their physical vine. Eventually, they started to adhere to the new pattern and are ever taller with even greater potential to grow within their own space creating new patterns that supports their own path toward the light.

Just thought of your recent exchange and sharing in those moments

Much love
Erica

Wow. This is a great article and the replies are also eye opening. I'm going to share my bit of realization that happened as a result of reading the above postings.

I’ve been feeling into an ancient bundle of distortions lately and began experiencing a series of synchronicities about it today. This article ignited a beautiful release process for me.

“So, get deep into these contractions. They'll be mental, emotional, physical and karmic. You have to feel deep into them, become awesomely okay with them, to the extent that you don't need them to go away.”

Holy smokes. I must have been ready to let this go today. These words zipped my attention in the present moment and the release process began. Instantly… Feeling of loss concentrated in the solar plexus. The more I softened the larger it became, but also less heavy. It eventually turned into a stormy cloud surrounding me. I was ok with it, maybe even a bit curious. What do I want to do now? I want to move through the cloud. I moved. It stayed behind. I “stood there” for a minute absorbing that it was never a part of me. I just held on to this for so long that it felt like me. Then my music player played this:

This is the part when I break free,
'Cause I can't resist it no more (...);
It was lethal, It was fatal
In my dreams it felt so right
But I woke up every time.

I felt embraced by a fiery being inside of myself. I made a strange sound and the joy poured over me. A big chunk of something fell off today. When I went to the park to ground, my body moved differently, I was larger and everything smelled so earthy and two white birds kept circling over my path along the stream. The water was winding around boulders always finding the way through.

I feel inspired, I am throwing away the crutches and letting the divine stir me. As I'm typing this, I am here and now. I'm feeling the old neuro pathways firing and string me back towards the distorted behaviours. The time slows down enough for me to get in the space between the stimuli and the reaction. With me there, they are not able to finish their firing cycle. In time they'll become weaker. Phew! This is new. I'm inside of my brain!

Perhaps life is not about getting into the 5D or expanding more, or even being the light for others, perhaps all this happens organically when we are being intensely in this moment. Because this precious moment is the only reality that is. Everything else simply falls off when we are fiercely here and now, perfectly ok with whatever wants to arise. Could it be that simple?

With love,

M.

Open, you feel the Spiritual Mainstream is being led astray, I see it being led astray. Permeating through all our social spaces, a dementia that's sticky in thought-form. Drowing and drowing it drags down like a black hole, so far you don't realize it. Our deepest desires & fears, points of reference and with the last train is setting off soon. We need the anti-philosophers, I can sense the thought world begining to actually weight down, with 7 billion of us acting like thinking machines it's difficult to stay focused,
And say I think you are being slightly led astray alongside the Mainstream with your sentence "And that's when life truly takes off."
I don't know how not to struggle.
Because And what does the divine really 'want'?
For you to be you ;)
Wondering through the Universe
As I entered through a door and saw The Place of Ignorance; ignoring irrelevant differences between sentient beings. We all need the freedom to find our own moral way.

The black hole is not sucking me down again, light coming into darkness. Thoughts begining to weight. I'm probably dyslexic, ment to write 'the black hole is sucking me down again'. But didn't, so I will let art happen in the moment when you see into mind of the painter. It's like staring into God, you feel very vulnerable bearing the gift of genius. So please share when something touches you deeply my dear One, felt within you as the mainstream of the soul.

"addictions are really making the choices", alright then, I give you about 40% on that one, subtle fears: 25%, veiled need/attachment (yea they are the same to me): 20%, conditioning: 5%, conscious choice: 10%. I'm doing too well :/ aa well. But that's out of the ones where you actually have a choice, you know there's the other situations where you look like you have a choice but you actually don't have a choice. Like when your really close cute girly friend sais I'm staying in Exeter till after your birthday, you don't actually have a choice of not celebrating your birthday when in reality my philosophical views are to opposse the status quo and not celebrate my brithday but treat it as a day instead. I don't actually want to make that choice anyway, much freeer this way :D
You know those situations that I'm going on about? I know you do, you have a choice but no you don't. Pictures of a car crashing now reverberate through out my minds eye, I assume you know why, what a choice to make!
I met a girl that decided to crash her car; a free spirit. We all know they are eccentric and insane, in a fun compassionate way.

But anyways, I've decided to say hello and say I'm keeping well since our last encounter at New Years Eve. That was brilliant, attachment ;)
Supposedly, private messages are supposed to not be publicly shared, but I think neither of us care if I share here. Provided I don't write something that creates confusion to any of the readers is my own requirement of any thing I sent over the internet, so I'll proof read this current works again; and realize that I said "conscious choice: 10%. I'm doing too well", when I ment to say "I'm not doing too well". aahh, is a bit like watching "Sunflower Thieves - Emmylou":

No, I'm not asking much of you
Just sing little darling, sing with me

You can't not cry at the beauty

Thanks again for posting this dude!
Rayko

I have watched this several times now and like most things in my life as things go round and round I see something that stands out each time. Like Leslie mentioned in the 5 Gateways about weeding the garden. Watching this time, went Open says (who created the creator), brought me back to grade 5 (1970) when I got kicked out of catechism class for asking that very question. WOW

Much love
from
the
Cape
Horse :)

Wow Erica... The island didn't occur to me at the time haha... Yes a metaphor for the way the One is expressing uniquely and honoring that individual expression of the One that you are. Love the reflection Erica <3
Jen x

Jen,
Thank you..as you know I am blushing as I am still working with those words of truth you shared with me standing around the island... Kinda metaphoric.. When you said it's about honoring who I am... It was a profound moment. Thank you for those words. I loved being in your presence. It brings joy to know you relate!!

Hi Erica!

This is so beautiful - you shine in ways that are perceivable on many levels...radiating a vibration that maybe isn't realized by all those around you - it's like a constant return to home. So glad you are sharing more here - it's awesome! =)

What you say here I can really relate with...feeling free to be!!!

"Riding the wave occurs easily in solitude. In relating with most others in this physical realm, I would previously retreat to a place of compassion or put "the wall" up.
Now just being in those moments allows for much as finally knowing some just won't see and that it is still ok to completely feel free to be."

With love,
Jen

Roles to play that provide a stage to dance upon. Interacting on the physical plane requires continual confrontation of a perceived set of variables. These variables most often attract together to form patterns. The patterns form behaviors. The behaviors form emotional or reactionary triggers or attachments thus a complex web forms limiting the beautiful experiences that erupt all around us.
I think intentions develop as a coping mechanism. The human mind constantly needs to assess and evaluate the known set points within the physical realm. The mind human mind projects values to associate ones sense of being to be tangible, touchable, corporeal thus the concept of manifestable is created.

One concept that occurred often was the notion of being misunderstood. Speaking as the soul blends and spirals through yet the spoken dialogue was not truly heard within the content I "intended" then this defensive impulse arose.

Riding the wave occurs easily in solitude. In relating with most others in this physical realm, I would previously retreat to a place of compassion or put "the wall" up.

Now just being in those moments allows for much as finally knowing some just won't see and that it is still ok to completely feel free to be.

It's why your work is so utterly beautiful that I am moved to tears... Thank you from the deepest depths of my soul for staying utterly true to creating this beautiful realm for all of us with eyes who yearn to not only see but to be seen shine.

Thank you for this affirming and empowering article - I have been reading through this site all day. I resigned today - following a path of unhapiness and despair that started presenting itself to my being. I have to make peace and accept fully that whilst I gave my awesome creative, joyous self to the organisation - it didn't reciprocate - instead presented the exact opposite until eventually I stopped going in, or became highly irate with everyone. And shut off....I trust that I was following my soul calling - I feel lighter - and excited for what may come!

I definitely have experienced spontaneous unravelling of disease and can tie them to the inauthentic ways I was living when they first arose. I was diagnosed with "aggressive crohn's disease" while I was married.... I was not at that time conscious of my unhappiness in that marriage. The doctors told me I would have to be on powerful immunosuppressants most of my life but once I committed to myself and left my marraige symptoms of the disease went away (apart from some ongoing evidence of the fact I had a portion of my small intestine removed.)

Later, I found myself working in a job I hated but was convinced I could work with my bosses to make it something that could feel right to me so stayed longer than I should have. In the months leading up to quitting I developed eczema all over my face after a lifetime of perfect skin. It did not disappear as soon as I quit, but went away as I worked through my fears about losing the security of income or identity of the job.

It's been interesting to watch the subtlety with which my thoughts work softly in the background discretely imposing their version of what is most desirable, masking themselves in a cloak of innocent exploration of possibilities and functioning on a level that I'm barely conscious of. Absolutely fascinating!!! Unintentionally I find myself floating down the swanny....

It was never 'my' intent to post a comment about 'my' intentions, yet I felt compelled to do so. In wondering where that intent came from 'i' recognise the doubt with which 'my' life has been beset. Yet amidst this doubt and unintended post 'i' feel a certain affinity to the beauty of language and how it inspires such magnificent soul-searching. If there is one thing 'i' have come to accept it is that free will is only sustained by the Law of Confusion. If all the answers are presented in one place, with absolute certainty, what free will would we have?

'I' love this community because it feels like it is pulling on the matrix and unravelling it's intention. It feels like, at Openhand, you are weaving a new matrix of truth from the ancient and old, the sacred and once-true, and that the openhandway is beyond the Law of Confusion. Intent is for the future: an illusion of the mind, at this moment, this present of life 'i' am happy just being.

Hi Trinity,

Everything you just said absolutely "clicks" within. My heart is at peace with this coming together of viewpoints. Breathing in gratitude to you and Open for your further elaboration and especially for your generosity in sharing your own journey, Trinity, which inspires me so deeply. Heart full of love to both of you, Catherine

Thanks for your viewpoint, Open. Trinity, it's this that discombobulating me. If distortion or separation from the One manifests as disease, disability, or injury, does it follow that these conditions will disappear once the distortion is processed and the "I" knows itself as the "One"? It's my sense that it's possible to feel as the "One" and still remain in an imperfect body in a particular lifetime. From Open I'm getting that it's possible to process karma around physical disability, for example, and feel as the One, but the soul may have to wait until another incarnation to manifest in a whole body without physical disability. Trinity, you mention you had past lives where you were completely broken mentally and physically but transcended the "I" and felt yourself as the One. Did you manifest a different body in those lifetimes, or did you wait until another incarnation to manifest a whole body?

Thank you, Trinity and Open. I especially appreciate you sharing your experiences, Trinity. I feel the truth of what you are saying. I guess I was pondering this question based on Open's article about disease and injury being a manifestation of dis-ease or separation from the One. I was feeling that it's still possible to be the One while in disease or injury. So I feel a bit discombobulated about Open's point in the article above!

Hey, Open,

Yes, my illusions will pass one day including my crutches: I do believe! On a more serious note, what's your take on becoming the One, the Absolute, while in a broken body?

Thank you for sharing your powerful experiences, Cynthia. How courageous you are. You inspire me to keep digging, deeper and deeper. Much Love, Catherine

I so totally love that we create our own illnesses and yes, "working to take away that illness before you're realised why you created it in the first place(yes YOU created it - YOUR unrealised soul), is like removing all the evidence at the scene of a crime before you're understood why the crime was committed."

Years ago about a week before I woke up with an outbreak of necrotizing fasciitis on my face I had woken up to my voice saying "You are a total waste of space on this planet!" I had no idea my self-esteem was so low - and I ended up with an absolutely perfect expression of that sentiment. Flesh-easting disease. Gobble up that waste of space.

I was and still am very grateful for knowing the cause of the dis-ease. It was horrifying and marvellous at the same time, since no matter what medications I was on - eight hours a day of iv antibiotics for two months - the progress of destruction stalled, but the swelling did not go away and I knew it would stay until I really committed to learning what my body and soul were trying to teach me.

In my world that's manifesting at its finest!!! No intentional affirmation would have delivered to me what my body and my illness was able to reveal. Gotta love the body and how perfectly it reflects on our behalf.

"Sent up the swanny for $9.99 with a big out-board motor"

Too funny. And it hits the mark smack dab in the middle. Bull's eye.

"So are you ready yet? Are you ready to throw away all those crutches - all those books and DVDs that are only delaying the inevitable?"

I've tossed the books and DVD's, but throwing away the crutches may be a bit premature haha!