Your NewYear Retreat 2017 'Through the Ether'

Hi everyone,
I would like to share a few words as this was my first time with the Openhand approach and my first time in Glastonbury – both experiences being profound in many ways. My background – experiential and academic - is in Buddhist-based practices and philosophies, bodywork, embodiment and Mindfulness. Before joining the New Year Retreat and for over a year, I had been exploring the Openhand approach through the articles/discussions/videos/books etc on the web site and resonated a lot with Open’s sharings on the 5 gateways and breaking through density by feeling it and being ‘awesomely OK with it’. Also, with Trinity’s loving energy and passion for animals and all beings as expressed through her Conscious Cuisine, which was the key motivating factor for signing up to the retreat. The Openhand approach and Team embodied the values of ahimsa (non-violence), presence and compassion and I trusted in that.
The retreat turned out to be a phenomenal experience that has infused my psyche to a very deep level. The alchemy of breath, sensations, aroma, water, light, darkness, sharing, opening, sacred space, dance, music, vulnerability, community, individuality and heartfelt narrative made me fall in love again with the Divine (like when I was a child). The Team (Trinity, Fiona, Rich and… Pennie) who supported and acted as scaffolding for the magic to unfold were there when I ‘needed’ them (physically or/and energetically) to reveal to me parts of myself that needed clarity, caring and understanding, so that I could then soften to the flow that was happening before me. I thank you. Open, your deep, catalytic presence has intensified an energetic force in me that is now clearer to tune into and harness in everyday life. This is important. The space/place I inhabit as a result of this shamanic awakening – as it were - has brought more ease, intimacy, connection, creativity and trust in the facilitation work that I do. I also feel more trusting and centred when experiencing the pain and suffering of the animals around me and expressing ‘right action’ more consistently. Thanks again. And all the wonderful people I met at the retreat thank you for who you are and for your beautiful sharings and presence. Till we meet again.
Love,
Aspasia

Hi folks,

What a wonderful way to bring in the New Year. Thank you Open for the profound way you facilitated the deep journeying. Thanks to all the wonderful souls I had the pleasure of connecting with, it was so inspiring to witness how you embraced your shifts and unfoldings - very powerful.

Thank you Trinity for the wonderful and very welcome, delicious food.

With love and gratitiude, Fiona

Thanks for sharing events from the retreat. I feel that every elevated being is a contribution for us too, thank You for Your efforts_/\_. Marks72 commenting catched my eye, because Shiva, shankara, is appearing to me too since a year ago after the awakening. This puzzles me, thus hoping to understand...

I too feel extraordinarily fortunate having gotten to attend the New Year’s retreat at Chalice Well!!

I resonate with your comments above, Jen. That was something I felt to be addressing in attending the New Year’s retreat. But nothing reared its ugly head. What was going on?? It was at this point that Open played “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd. Yeah, there you go!

I received insight about this from Open. He tells me about the Orion souls who were enslaved by the Annunaki, the Greys, and how in incarnating here on Earth, within the “human vehicle” with all of it’s emotional capacities, that such souls have a hard time accessing and dealing with emotions. My own experience in past lives may have been this, or something like this. Interestingly, in reading the article Liberation of the Orions, I resonated with Jen’s comments there, too.

I’m not yet to where I can easily tap into my past life experiences. While this particular Orion (or something similar) experience doesn’t exactly resonate with me at this point, it would certainly explain a lot!! I know I’ll receive my own insights and clarity with time and continued evolution.

The next day at the retreat, I woke up feeling at peace with myself. I now had some context for what was going on within me, and I was happy and most grateful to have that. Beyond this, I felt a strong urge to just leave it be. It’ll come to the surface all on its own; when I’m ready, or when things are catalyzed by whatever is going on within my day to day existence in life. I felt it was best to make the most of getting to be at the retreat, and to enjoy myself and the process we all were going through.

Which I did!! I can’t tell you how much one gets from getting to be with and interact with like-minded souls who are all on a path that, while each is different and unique, is headed more or less in the same direction. The exchanges — the giving and receiving that occurs — is so wonderful!! The retreat activities involved quite a bit of this. The energy there was exceptional, and allowed me to access a deeper sense of self, too. I am feeling so good about everything I experienced, and how affirming of self it all was! Most of all, I can’t adequately express the gratitude I feel to Open, Trinity for the meals she provided that were beyond being food, the facilitators, and all the Openhand folks who are part of this. To those of you who attended the retreat, THANK YOU!!

Here’s sharing the energy I feel. :)

Feeling Good -- Avicii

I feel priviliged to have been given the opportunity to be part of this wonderful gathering. One could feel incredible vibrations within and without (is there any difference?)

Synchronistically enough, having arrived home I watched the deeply alchemical movie 'Michal Clayton', where one of the main characters, who's going through a profound spiritual awakening, repeats several times: 'we have been summoned'. This is basically how I feel about this New Year's Retreat - that a greater force had asked us to gather together and create one unique eternal vibe that echoes in the Universe.

It might sound cheesy, but I mean it :)

Funny that in the pic there is Shiva in the background, with whom I feel a quite strong connection recently. (Aand, a gym called 'Shiva' just opened in the next block, as well :)

With LOVE,
Márk

The photos really capture such a pure moving deep essence of each authentic bodily expression! It's amazing to see the collective yet each individual ray of light beaming.
Open, many blessings as you continue to create this open space that allows all of us to feel this experience yet not become lost within the identifications of mind/body. Your creation and authentic expressions have been a catalyst beyond words. Seeing you deep within meditation, wow! I feel your commitment expanding across the world!!!
Love to you all
Erica

Amazing energy guys!! I love seeing all the pics - so many beautiful unfamiliar faces - it's so nice to see more of the Openhand family =).

Open - I loved your captions - so much lightness and wit!

Love,
Jen

Just wanted to thank you all for the beautiful explorations and sharings. Some here have such a gift for articulation and poetry...I have loved sharing in your experiences.

Thank you to Open for taking the time to comment on our personal circumstances and thank you Eddie for your warm and encouraging words.

Open you dropped in the word assertiveness and yes this is the more solid energy that is wanting to express and whooooa is there a massive resistance to this way of being. Incredible how aversions to ways of being create exactly what we are trying to avoid. This stepping through the fire of my disowned aspects is particularly challenging.... Though I am getting far more use to the heat and recognize it more as the cue to slow down and get super present with what is happening...it also takes a letting go of need to perform or respond within a particular time frame ... When I stay open within the moment of fire and just allow the burn, the intensity of it all, then there is a clarity within the chaos. I have felt for a while that there is a strong, resilience here but it's felt unembodied, yet totally part of me.

So today I drew a garden and felt deep within my heart what is a seed now waiting to emerge.... I feel there are seeds of courage and self acceptance, solar energy of passion and action that want to pop through the surface. Excited to continue to share and grow with this beautiful community.

Will be tuning in for the new Openhand journal - much love to you all! Jen

Happy New Year!

When I went outside today, there was such a silence and stillness... The city was asleep, resting after last night's celebrations. I walked on a 3 inch layer of fresh, shimmering snow, creating a brand new pathway. My awareness zoomed into that moment and I felt the Universe reaching out to me. It was offering me a clean slate, an opportunity to create something new. There is a soft, but persistent voice calling me... and my heart knows I need to follow it, without explaining it, armed only in trust. What is it going to be? I'm so curious now...

I'm looking forward to tuning in to the new Openhand Journal!

With love :-)

M.

Thanks for your last post Open. January the Month of Conscious Change - I like the sound of that, & I'm ripe for change at this time. I look forward to seeing how that unfolds in my life & the lives of others.

Happy New Year 2017 & many blessings to all in the Openhand Community!

Alex

This is what happens when one tunes into the energy of an Openhand gathering. Things begin to really stir… and I mean REALLY stir. I just went into quite a deep process and since I'm in a full-disclosure mode I might as well let things roll:

Looking close at relationships – the need to keep the other attached feels so heavy in my body… I find myself energetically in a dark and cold forest… I’m holding on to a partner, holding hard, inflicting pain, I really can’t let go! Feeling the other’s pain, “but I need you! I'll put you on a pedestal and I'll cherish you”.., a possibility of releasing the grip to see what happens presents itself.

It takes a while as tears roll down my face… releasing very slowly… immediate crushing pressure in the chest… here it is: feeling abandoned by God. It’s a massive grief. I stay with it, try not to look away this time, it is hard to breathe… past lives begin to weave their energy and I see clear images of cruelty and abandonment, but it is me who is abandoning! Staying with what's happening, staying with the others’ suffering. Breathing slowly, trying to make more space for the wholeness of these experiences. Honoring the others’ pain, asking for forgiveness and a sense that there is nothing to forgive.

The guilt and pain of abandonment are collapsing into each other. I’m back in the dark forest, it is easier to breathe, but there is still a hint of resentment at God. I have to go back into the experience. Show me! Tightness in the upper chest and throat. Here it is….pride, the need to be special. I sit with that, more past lives are playing out. There is an invitation to let go of pride. I soften into it as well as I can without expectations. I’m back in the dark forest. I am. It doesn’t matter where or what experience is occurring, I still am!!!!

Namaste.

M.

PS. Hi Erica, your words are like a stream of fresh water... keep talking.

M. Your expression feels so eloquent. I've come to a point where even within the presence of others, I feel connected to source. Earlier on, I felt very exposed. I used to visualize wonder woman's arm bands on my wrists and when an energy felt threatening or not authentic, I would visualize using the gold bands as a deflection. It was a coping mechanism to still be within this world yet knowing not of it.
The coffee... So about a week ago, I thought to give up coffee as well yet I still poured my morning cup and set off to work. As I started to drive, I turned and the coffee cup went flying onto the floor. While this is such a small event, I just wanted to share that it was so spontaneous. The synchronicity brought such a light feeling, a rightness, a knowing. I laughed as it was perfect. It seems in those moments, there is no struggling, the outward reflections are outside any mind induced contemplation and rationalization.

I feel all of you through the ether. For decades I mopped up and processed so much from this physical realm using music to express the shear anguish, it's a powerful modem indeed. The spent tears would fill buckets! Mary Magdalene and the energy of her source filled me beyond capacity. I'm feeling that now as forgiveness for this human experience is so key and vital. Forgiveness deeply within ourselves as these human bodies are predisposed to OC. It's an antanea of sorts, the higher the frequency vibrates the more subtle the interference. Yet within the interference, is the way.. It's our internal compass to follow with fully trusting that no matter what the experience brings forth, that lost piece of ourselves will be discovered. It's there in every moment. Learning to remain grounded within the experience was a turning point that I experienced on an Openhand retreat. I felt like an ape, moving and swinging through this realm. I embraced that primal side of this existence trusting without understanding. Then the inner conflict dissolves, OC has no thing to tether to thus dissipates. There is a healing period as I felt the loss of that distraction reaction behavior that I once naturally expressed through yet the reflections it brought back always ignited the inner flame. In my experience, this is where the twin flame feels my ignition then within the revelation I feel my twin flame mirroring in some authentic way, inter playing between dimensions. I say, bring it on OC!!! I can't wait to see what comes next,! I respect that energy. It has a purpose, it has a function, the disturbance vibrates in a frequency that brings about a moment of pause to catch our attention. So within, I embrace it all with love

Namaste
Erica

I’m flowing with the energy of the retreat. Feels great to be so far and yet so connected! A friend posted a dance mix on sound cloud this morning. As I began to move to the rhythm, a concentrated anger began to explode through me. This turned into a rage at how we’ve been manipulated and led to believe in our smallness. When I tuned into my movements, my body wanted to claim the space around, sort of saying: “get the f*%k out of my field!”. I’m feeling exhausted now and the silence around me and within me is just unbelievable. The music is still going on as the emotions continue to unwind like colorful ribbons being set free from the tight knots.

Megha – I find your sharing and the way you process what is coming up truly inspiring. I really liked how you put it: “lately I have started to look at it as a long path that it is important I walk rather than a distraction I need to suppress.” It reminded me to be even more vigilant and pay more attention to what am I trying to suppress. Thank you for your wisdom!

Crystal – I feel for you. There is so much going on that at times it may feel overwhelming. The other realm is interacting with us in a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle), but powerful way, bending the probability of choices so that we become united in the same downwards spiral: emotional entrainment, thoughts insertions, dreams, fake synchronicities, bias, denial, etc. We are manipulated, not forced, though. Blaming them for the intervention is another avenue to derail ourselves and bleed more energy. Taking responsibility for my choices without guilt and projecting the blame outwards tangibly refocuses my power back into my core. How can I blame myself for something that happened outside of my awareness? How can I blame the others who took my power if it was me who gave it up first? I take the responsibility for expanding my awareness though. In my experience, that is time and effort consuming, but also most powerful and effective way to claim my sovereignty. The attacks only serve as an aid in identifying our own weaknesses. The choice is the key and it only exists in the present moment. That is the only place to unwind the attachments. Whatever pulls you out of here and now, is potentially derailing. The interference will consequently fall off, because it is not the cause, it is the effect of our distortions.

Hugs and don’t forget to dance!

M.

Hello everyone,
So, here I find myself at an Openhand retreat again.... Seriously, time truly must be collapsing, because I don't remember planning to be here.
And yet - here in my quiet space, I join all of you, the sharings resonating and illuminating new/old parts of myself - remembering.
Feeling deeply connected - processing here, through deep exploration of relationship. Life becoming a diad. Looking at this side of co-dependence. Where is my responsibility? Accountability? Understanding ?.... leading to... awareness ? Remembering?
Remembering who I am - just me.... inside it.... and inside.
And then there is OC.... don't even get me started there. :) Help me, Rhonda...
With love,
Jan xo

Hello Everyone!
Happy New Year's Eve!
I have been experiencing A LOT of distortions for a while now, particularly around the relationship energies.
I feel like I am constantly "bombarded" by dark energies and entities and I feel I have little idea about how to keep them out, and it is very frustrating to say the least. I feel like there must be "tons" of karma I need to work through if I have all of this going on, and it gives me lack of hope to feel like there is so much than I apparently "have to do" inorder to just try and get peace in my daily life and body.
I feel like I have a large awareness but the surface level and subtle level interferences create so much havoc that it is hard for me to function, almost.
I experience the OC as a white "mist" than engulfs my body sometimes and it takes over my energy field- particularly when I sleep.
When that energy gets into my field it does create that feeling of franticness and havoc like M said. (Hi M! :)
I hear the ringing or buzzing when an actual entity itself is entering into my energy field. That is one of the ways that I know how a new entity has entered my field and is trying to listen to me.
There are SOooooo Many sensations that come from the nonphysical. Demons, Entities, the OC... gosh when will it end!

Any recommendations to increase my awareness and smooth out my daily life are always welcomed! :)

Yay NYE!
Crystal

Dear Megha,

It touches my heart that the Twin Flame sharing stirred something in you. How powerful of an experience it can be when we encounter someone reflecting who we are! Oh, the wonder and warmth of the experience has such a magical way to color our perception. The sudden ease and depth of intimacy seems to touch something sacred within us. The newfound safety unlocks the long forgotten childhood wounds that want to be held in our presence and yearn to be brought to a resolution. This experience can be a tremendous gift, if we don’t get lost in it.

We’ve been deeply wounded as a society to rely on the romantic love as a way to personal fulfillment. The conditioning presents us with a set of templates and expectations. It’s hard to believe that the beauty we see in the other is our own! I find dealing with someone who is a powerful mirror to be a real art, sort of like a martial art. It can transform us if we keep it free flowing or it can tumble us over rocky shores if we try to suffocate it. Erica just said it so beautifully:

“it's free to dance , move, transform, ignite. In my experience, it's in everything, everywhere.. Omnipotent, Omnipresent.!There was a period of time where I attempted to contain it within a certain person or experience yet what happens when a fire is contained? Eventually it is suffocated.”

I’ve encountered interferences before posting my initial sharing about the torus. I also felt a strong urge to scrub it clean of the OC references. I’m picking up the OC intention to remain hidden. It is so important to talk about the magnitude of this interference. This is why I’d like to share some of my personal experiences on the topic:

THE BUZZ
Open said:
“The problem is, that the frequency feels like love, and is very close to your aligned vibe. So over time, the distorting frequency sinks into your authenticity and buries itself there.”

I have noticed the distorted frequency contains a buzz. There is a distinct manic quality in it. At times it is very tangible and feels like a hyped up nervous system. It does not feel unpleasant, but it eventually drains me from energy and creativity. I’ve recently quit coffee and became more sensitive of the energy tones in my body. Interestingly, as soon as I gained more clarity, my family and friends became very hyper. I just spend more time on my own now and it helps so much normalizing the new perceptions. Perhaps I will get away for a month or so, not sure where or when, but an opportunity will present itself if that is what I'm to do.

THE OC INTERFERENCES
I feel like I’m dealing with a very nimble, but limited predator. Fake synchronicities are another interesting phenomena and I must admit to falling for them once in a while. They’d always appeal to my wishful thinking and are created from a limited pool of possibilities. Most importantly, if I fall for them, the buzz turns on. The real synchronicities contain an element of creativity and a bit of a surprise, the fake ones don’t. If I’m not vigilant and intensely present, the thoughts pop in my head activating the old wounds and attachments, the buzz sneaks back in and I bleed energy again. So I just keep working on the attachments that are revealing themselves and with each act of letting go, I can see the extent I’ve allowed myself to be manipulated and drained.

RELATIONSHIPS
I’ve always needed to be in a relationship because it gave me a sense of being connected. During last year’s Transfiguration course for the first time I felt truly connected to myself. Something began to slowly crumble within my being. I see relationships as fixed templates and I’m finding myself not wanting to be locked in these concepts. I wake up a different person each day. I am flowing, constantly transforming, relating with others. I can relate with some longer and deeper than with others, but I do not wish to put a burden of expectation on anyone by labeling our relating. I’m getting more aware of the attachment to timing, wanting to hold on to beautiful past events, needing to be safe through a fixed connection with another. There is still so much letting go to be done, but I’m slowly healing.

With love,

M.

Beautiful heartfelt sharings! I appreciate all of the posts tremendously.
Self sovereignty feels like such a natural state. It is on going as I reflect on pivotal moments in time where what I knew remained dormant. It taught me infinite patience as I observed then through the observations, patterns of conditioning, behaviors became clear. It's within the moments of pause where I feel and see through human veils. On a side note, I spent eight years of childhood going to St Mary Magdalene school. The energy there as a young child was overwhelming and I often experienced spells of unconsciousness where I completely blacked out and my body collapsed. I see her arms pointing down, open to gather all those held down within this physical realm as the vibrations of forgiveness echoed through to shake apart perceived self inflicted wounds. Forgiveness for human predispositions that are designed to rip us apart, feel the pain. This just moved me deeply as I have been struggling with forgiving evil and the manifestation through human actions....forgiveness as it's a different energy than acceptance or tolerance. Openhand has accelerated self realizations beyond my wildest dreams, the retreats and the people pulled there is magical. The gratitude I feel is alive. Thank you Open and Openhand team for shining light. Many blessings to all as we embark on this New Year.
I wanted to comment on the twin flame experience, like a fire it's free to dance , move, transform, ignite. In my experience, it's in everything, everywhere.. Omnipotent, Omnipresent.!There was a period of time where I attempted to contain it within a certain person or experience yet what happens when a fire is contained? Eventually it is suffocated. It's there within the freedom to be dancing through this realm as am I, as how can I keep shining light when conditions are constructed to contain? Just a thought.
Much love
Erica

The energy from the pictures feels amazing. I am so excited to be joining in even though it is just virtually!

What is coming up for me in so many areas is the opportunity to be absolutely ok with things exactly as they are. I am working with this but have been realizing that I am doing thus in a goal oriented way - to open up the space to allow things to change. (or to be totally honest, to make them change.) Then they don't change and I get frustrated. I see this means I'm not truly ok with how they are now, more frustration. I am also being shown areas of my life where I wasn't making change a priority - huge changes are happening. I realize I was ok with how things were so I was able to open up the space and create change. I am excited about those changes but it also makes me realize that the more I want something to change, the harder it is for me to be totally ok with how it is now in an authentic way. I think I am but it is really just to manipulate the outcome. I recognize the paradox but at this point I am caught up in it instead of being able to move myself through it.

Much love,
Ann

Greetings to all tuning in to the New Year Retreat!

You are spot on, Open. That is exactly what is going on. My soul wants to be unleashed and reunited with the Twin Flame (the non-incarnated part of myself, not another human being), the attachments are pulling it back and I’m bleeding energy. There are continuous attempts at derailing the process by the OC acting from the shadows of my own blind spots. It is even producing fake synchronicities! All this can be so painful and confusing sometimes, but I have never been so close, so aware of my own entanglement, of the interference, aware of the true universal love. The yearning for purity and completeness is exceptionally strong and even the pain seems small in comparison.

Yesterday I was grieving all the love that was derailed and consumed. What a sense of loss. It was just so hard for me to receive it, so hard to express it unconditionally. The judgment, the entitlement, the sense of lack found their way to fragment it and off it went! But, this moment is all there is, right? And perhaps it was also false to assume that this love was mine all together. I feel I can now begin to honor the experience as it brought me to where I’m at right now. My ego is tired of fighting and willing to let go more. Not a bad place to be in, my Friends.

I’ve been so fortunate to encounter a beautiful soul that holds a strong mirror for me. Nothing but authentic expression penetrates the channel of our communication. Even the slightest manipulation attempts on my side blow up in my face. The connection activated a yearning for freedom and allowed me to see entanglements in conditioned relationships. My friend and I are separated by thousands of miles and may not see each other again. But all this is not about a relationship. It is about transformation, finding the way back to innocence.

Last night I went for a 2h free dance class and danced out my story: being born, so innocent and pure, allowing the entanglement to confine me, losing myself, pain, awakening, freedom in uninhibited expression, the free flow of love. The last song played last night was … “Return to Innocence”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk_sAHh9s08

RETURN TO INNOCENCE
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide.
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.

With love.

M.

Thank you for that beautiful discussion Open and M. I'm currently experiencing a huge influx of emotion around a Twin Flame.
I believe he is my TF because of the strong kundalini energy I feel in his presence especially in my heart centre ,solar plexus and throat . I have tried to harness the energy influx I feel by unravelling several layers including conditioning of worthlessness and doubt. This energy and the kerfuffle it causes has also led me to deepen my own practice .A lot of inner child woubdings have come up to be resolved and also some past life issues .
I am now letting go of the need to make logical sense of this (we are both married to different people)and instead contain the energies and trust that there is some method to this particular brand of madness
I would love to have some insight into this and also some tools to deal with it .

Hi Open, having attended a few New Year retreats (I mis-typed 'Treats' the first time), and benefited enormously from them as a way to re-balance. This time I am sharing over the ether, and it is like an oasis of calm as I prepare to move to a new house in a new town. This physical process has brought up so much to do with letting go. I had not realised my current house still held links to my previous relationship and that realisation hit me hard. As you have said before 'the only constant is change', so I will observe my responses to all the changes going on. Again, thank you for the support through Openhand, Mark

Jen What is the worst possible outcome of speaking from the heart? Being ridiculed? Being outcast as a weirdo? Being called a crybaby? Having your feelings made light of? Being told you are unworthy of love? All of these things have happened to me personally. So I developed a mask to cover it up. By age 20 I was a fully psychotic ill adjusted asshole. It was mostly fake. In the last 20+ years of peeling away that shit to show the world the real me I had to first discover what that means. At the core we are all beautiful this I know from experience!!! I have seen a little of who you are and you are an amazing expression of the one my friend!!! Somewhere inside of you is a Warrior, not fearless, but with the determination to go ahead anyway, in spite of the fear!!!! Find this inside you and pour some fuel on the little flame until you can move forward!!! Shine your light brightly!!!
Hugs to you!!!
Eddie

Hi all!

I am excited to join in with you all and know it must be incredible to be physically together sharing this exploration! What's defining the circumstances here for me? This thing I want to step around constantly... This thing I want to fix so that I can get to the "real" issue... This thing is anxiety that arises when I am called to speak. It's more the willingness to be seen, self acceptance. Life has encouraged me toward a set of circumstances in which I am feeling incredibly vulnerable in relating to others. Synchronistically tonight I was asked to introduce myself and talk about what I am passionate about - as I went to speak (over Skype to a group of 11 others) the power in my house went out for a moment a powerful reflection of what happens to me in these circumstances. Emotion is flowing strongly and I feel a bit like I am made of balloon material in a world of sharp pins... I don't feel solid. Much of the life circumstances are creating a sense of crisis within me where I feel strong protective instincts that say I can't take one more thing... Or what??

So what is being invited? To let the shit show happen and find who I am can't be destroyed? I see the qualities that are wanting to be freed ... Self acceptance, in some way more solidity and willingness to let myself be seen as I am. I feel I am in a crucible of sorts and life is helping this stuff rise more to the obvious surface.

Much love to you all,
Jen

Open you said "Now imagine the entity winds an energy 'tentacle' around the aspect of soul that is returning to the source, and subtly distorts it - in this way, it can assimilate the highest frequencies of love energy - it's pure manna, and very attractive for OC." Reading this it seems to me that OC is a manifestation of the side of each of us that doesn't want to do the "work" it takes to experience the essence of Pure Love. So it tries to steal it and all sorts of other forms of energy instead. Like it knows it is following a distorted path but is taking the easy way out to get what it wants stemming from a lack of trust in the flow of the one. Please clarify as I am just a grasshopper. Namaste Eddie

I’ve been feeling the toroidal energy flow quite strongly since our last gathering this month. Few days ago, I found a golden coin with an image of a toroid and a letter "M" at its center. When I look at it I feel my energy strengthening and swelling out. All this shifted my consciousness and activated an old, massive karma, an issue that’s rooted in childhood (and beyond) and that is touching other distortions like a gigantic root. It’s always been derailing and energy draining for me. It took the center stage recently and my heart is stirring (but not hurting) and the third eye feels wide open, like a stretched rubber band. The universe provided a person in my life that pulls ALL the strings related to the issue and what a lesson that is! This person also shows me new ways of being by reacting in new ways to my patterns. At times I feel like I’m drowning, grasping for air, panicking, even throwing internal tantrums. There are also moments when I manage to slow down enough to have a strong sense of the energy flow from myself outwards. It seems to be forming my reality and then circling back to me, and again outwards. What a beautiful dance it is! It doesn’t last, but I’m able to carry the flavor of this experience for quite a while. When I’m aware of this toroidal energy flow, there is only love and compassion behind the story and I am the only actor on this holo-deck. This momentary shift of perspective enables me to glimpse at the mechanics behind the drama. What a construct! It doesn’t feel like a part of me, but there are still chords of attachment that want to be let go before this construct flows away. They are so ancient and I’m happy I can see them better now. I sat with the fear related to my issue lately and I saw a face of an angry animal showing its sharp teeth, then the image subsided and was replaced with a white lily. I know there is something so beautiful and pure that is wanting to be revealed if I could only get acquainted with the monster. And I will! Last night, I had a dream and in it I was chased by a grizzly bear. I run from it, but I wasn’t afraid of it. Seems like perhaps the fear is not as strong, but the conditioning is still in place. When I say “not as strong” I mean I’m not in a panic, just slightly terrified. I’m also getting quite a bit of insight into how I allow myself to be derailed. The moment I’m not fully conscious, I allow the opposing forces to re-route my energy. I feel the thoughts being inserted and how they play on my distortions taking me into daze-filled states. It leaves me tired, confused or numb. I also noticed many people walking around and functioning while in that daze. I’m strongly invited to be vigilant and aware of my energy all the time. If I can stay sturdily in my energy even just for few hours, I feel so much more clarity and joy. The energy flow in my torus is strengthening and is unwinding the karmic layers with a new speed and depth. At times, there seems nothing more important than to align with the natural flow of things. It manifests as a right action that arises faster than the judgment. I'm feeling a magnetic pull and a yearning to flow back into the ocean and dissolve in it, become it. With love, M.

Chalice well feels like a phenomenal cleansing portal submerging within the supported buoyancy between realms..creating a liquid fluency through metamorphosis with profound integration

What I'm seeing now are ageless interpretations through souls, it's in music, books, art, movies, timeless teachings that provide inspiration and little glimpses from energy portals that have opened. I feel Andromeadean energy where Arcturian compassion was strongest through the field for so long. Allowing this energy to breath life invigorates, it's synthesizing and harmonizing. It can be in line at the post office or holding a young girls hand who was suffering from a car crasH. It's not complicated/that's the mind searching for reference points. Opportunities are limitless,
On a personal note, I've given myself permission to live without continually referencing those around me. I see that for as long as I can remember, I've always shifted "my" experience to fit into their perception. It feels liberating to feel deeply within then allow authentic expression to flow. Ray 4 was a safe place to express from for so long, now I'm feeling more to express through Rays 3 and 7

Much love as you explore
Erica