How an Opposing Consciousness affects our Kids (and what to do about it)
Increasingly, people are investigating and writing about an Opposing Consciousness in the field that influences people and society. It's a difficult subject to write about; a taboo area that pushes lots of buttons. And many will challenge its presence at all, because you have to be expanded into the field to see and feel interdimensional entities. But now sensitives all over the world are reporting about the phenomenon. It seems the tide is turning; it needs to, if future human generations are to be free. Specifically I felt to address the most vulnerable in society - our children - and what we can do about them. How can we work to nullify the intervention effects?...
Interpret the behaviours you Observe within a wider context
Firstly let me say that I understand if many people out there find this topic challenging and don't believe it's happening at all. I understand you won't believe in entities if you've not seen them through your own inner eye. But if you're still reading, them something has drawn you to my text. So try to stay open; the best way to understand this influence is by its effects, to whatever you attribute the cause. So I suggest we work to unite through commonality: what affects do you observe? How might you relate to what I'm about to share?
I first noticed the strange phenomenon of Intervention going on within my own children. It was if a purposeful energy in the field would jump from child to child, exacerbating emotion, winding them up and draining their energy. Or at other times, in teenager years, it's like they zone out and become 'zombified' - mentally and emotionally disconnected.
Countless synchronicities reminded me (from past life experience) that this was some kind of life force which was feeding off their energy; and in the process, subjecting them to conditioned behaviours that didn't serve - they were frequently wound up, anxious and angry, or else distracted, zoned out and unable to focus (I've written about these experiences of Intervention in detail in my book...Divinicus).
Since those early observational days, the full spectrum of the Intervention has come ingloriously into view (you can read a summary in these articles on our website here...Multidimensionality). This Intervention works within human blind-spots. Where we go unconscious inside, it becomes operative and exploits people to conditioned behaviours which trap them in a subservient life-style that doesn't serve. It causes an internal dissonance polarity (like the poles of a battery) which wind people up internally, who then bleed energy from which the entities 'feed' - just like you or I would consume a meal (because everything is energy). The overall agenda is about establishing a synthetic reality here on Earth through which humanity can be controlled (certainly that's it's undeniable effect). It's like a parasitic virus, and the younger this Opposing Consciousness can influence, the more effective that control becomes. So how does that energy work on our children? Knowing this, will help us deal with it.
It's all about distraction
The Intervention is successful because it distracts people from the seat of their power - their own inner world of soul sovereignty. It's a common theme in mainstream spirituality now, that where your attention goes, so does your creative effect - likewise if you're distracted from your focus, then your power dissipates. You can then be diverted into disruptive lifestyles which build ego and block the infusion of soul. Thus you create a lesser, subservient way of being. In spiritual media we report that the world outside is controlled by an 'elite', and wonder why society is not changing? It's because unaware people are conditioned and addicted to accept the controlled lifestyles. In short, they can't see anything wrong. How is this done specifically?
Where the young are concerned, computer gaming, smart phones and online media are classic examples. Attention is drawn into an external distraction, desensitising to the usual flow of human emotion (or else winding them up). The mind is quickly locked into an engagement that disconnects soul from body - it cannot infuse due to the density of the inner vibrations caused (especially if the gaming is particularly violent and noisy).
But then there's food (if you can call it that!). So much today is filled with excito-toxins which cause a great deal of internal disharmony, stress and busyness. Again, the dissonant metabolic rate escalates, which interferes with the frequency of infusing soul and blocks its entry. No wonder so many kids are distracted, cannot focus, nor sit still in their own energy for any length of time without the need of some distraction.
I've just returned from a swim and sauna at the local pool. It was an unexpected time for me to go, which unknowingly coincided with a local school having weekly swimming lessons. When I came back into the changing room, I could not believe the level of noise, the banging and clattering of doors, hyped up exchanges which were completely manic. It was a struggle to be there; I could feel the presence of strong Intervention through the field.
To whatever you attribute this, take a look at our younger generations today, their lifestyles and to what their consciousness is subjected. It's like they're being purposefully confronted with influences way beyond their age and capacity to deal with. It feels to me like a purposeful targeting. For instance I just came across this report in the UK's press...
"New born babies could soon be swapping breast milk for Milky Bars, after NHS staff told mothers to feed their babies junk food, in a bid to stop feeding problems. Fliers handed to new parents by Poole Hospital NHS Foundation Trust recommended feeding chocolate, crisps, fried foods and sugary sweets to children over the age of eight months. The guidance is aimed to help children with ‘problems managing lumpy foods’. The leaflets categorise the junk food under three headings: Easy Chew Food, Bite and Dissolve and Squash/Suck. Savoury snacks such as Quavers, Skips and Wotsits feature under the Bite and Dissolve category, while chocolate bars such as Kit Kats and Crunchies are recommended ‘if a child sucks food well’. However, the unconventional dietary recommendations go against paediatric nutritionists who advise that children aged under a year should be given foods containing no added sugar."... Metro
This just demonstrates the extent of the problem we face. It is endemic and systematic, across the broad range of society. The very foundation stones of society itself form the bedrock of the Intervention. We have to get real about it. So what might we do to nullify its effects on on our kids?
Nullifying the effects of the Intervention
First let me say, especially if you're a parent, I feel for you and my heart goes out to you. It's not likely to be easy, but with patience and persistence we can deal with it. And it can be the making of not only us, but also our children. Because as we know, parenting children can provide our greatest learning experiences. This situation can be the forging of the soul and the final breakdown of the intervention, as the future generations are liberated from it.
Also know that benevolence is aware and helping. There's a wave of higher consciousness kids that are coming in to challenge this Intervention. Many are star-souls (what some call "indigo children") and have come here to specifically nullify the effects and break it up - with their own vibration - which can happen when they infuse soul. That's what the Intervention fears most; that's why it's working so hard a this time to intensify the external distractive and internal dissonant effects. It's also why it creates these bogus psychiatric labels which is can then medicate (see the video at the end).
It's going to require from us, a huge amount of focus and trust to work with. These kids are often revolutionaries and budding leaders in their own right. Speaking from direct personal experience, they don't like being told what to do. And if you say "you shouldn't do such and such", it's a bit like waving a red flag to a bull. That which they shouldn't consume becomes the forbidden fruit - they want it even more. We have to learn to trust that their path brought them here for a reason: they came to explore the density of the physical and being distorted by it. It's in this way they learn to master soul sovereignty in dense distorting environments. So even if they get lost for some period of time, that might well be on their path. It's by finding your way back to the straight and narrow that is the mastery and forging of the soul.
You must become like a rock in their lives. Holding the steady centre ground, not preaching, but always always shining the light.
But neither should we blindly accept 'anything goes'. They also chose you for a reason - to establish boundaries. How might we most effectively help them do that?
Helping children develop their own effective boundaries
From personal experience, I believe it's important to help kids establish their own boundaries, rather than simply 'laying down the law'. Like for example their experimentation with weed. Which I now know is widely available and prevalent in teenage culture. It's becoming a facet of their lives. I know that for some conditions, weed can actually heal by reducing stress and inviting internal surrender. But I also witness the negative effect of excessive soft drug use in those who frequently use them. They may indeed have a calming and relaxing influence, but they also create blind-spots where consciousness goes to sleep.
This is where that Intervention can act - anywhere we're not fully conscious. This is how the virus gets in. But rather than forbidding and overtly trying to control their use, which would likely be counterproductive (they just go behind your back), I encourage an openness to talk about these things, to educate and bring awareness to the effects. I find in this way, kids are more likely to be genuinely honest and open if I talk about the issue. Which is the most important thing - if they become fearful of your emotive/controlling reaction, they'll close down and not talk to you; in which case, there's little possibility of you having a positive influence at all.
So I notice it's happening, I don't feel good about it, but instead I trust the universe and invite its help. Then I become patient, hold the space and watch. We have to believe in consciousness, that it can work its magic behind the scenes, shaping mirroring situations that the kids may start to see themselves by.
It's the same when they eat junk food with loads of excito-toxins (as with most processed food these days). In the beginning, I was very firm with the boundaries - too firm, which caused antagonism and resistance. So I decided to soften, to advise more, then simply to shine an example of healthy eating. The result has paid off: my teenage son will tend to choose the healthy option himself more often - especially as he's willing to appreciate the positive effects of his own accord.
So in essence, we need to do the hardest of things: to watch as we know our kids are being influenced by this distractive, addictive, unseen parasitic virus, but not sermon the truth from up high on our pedestal. Instead, we need to meet them at their level, and empower them to make the more evolved choices in life by appropriate questioning. An open ended question will cause conscious to explore inwardly all by itself. It opens up, rather than bold preaching which has the opposite effect.
So for example, you might ask... - How do you think unhealthy food is going to affect you over time? - What do you think junk food will it do to your health and body? - How do you think too much screen time affects your mind? - How important is it to you to have a positive, enthused mental attitude? - What is it you really want from life? - What inspires you about creativity? What do you like to create? - What's the beneficial effect of being in nature on you?
Timing is crucial. Only invite the question when you have their full attention. My tendency is to wait until some kind of negative effect reveals itself, which they can clearly see and wish to resolve - like getting sick, sleepless or disturbed for example. Then I'll simply invite the question "so why do you think this is happening?" Of course if they're younger, it's important to inform aswell of the affects of junk food and excessive screen time for example. Nevertheless, it's likely to be much more effective if you've gotten them to contemplate the question first. And especially as they move more into teenage years, where they're wanting to empower themselves with their own choices. Then, by asking such open ended questions, invites them to truly contemplate what effects their choices have on them. It doesn't create the 'forbidden fruit' syndrome, and helps you be more influential in their process, rather than having them close down on you.
We have to work to move them past all of these distractive behaviours over time; to establish an openness where the soul can come through. It's not about what they do - even gaming and social media can be a positive thing - providing that is, they're conscious within the engagements (which is why it doesn't work to make them feel guilty about these things either). They have to feel into themselves as much as possible, by totally accepting themselves - because this embodies soul.
We must avoid making them always feel wrong or inadequate. Because this is disempowering and damages confidence. Or else it makes them fight. I've found humour and acceptance - empathising with the challenges they face - is likely to be most effective. I notice this overall approach softens the ego and resonates the soul more strongly, such that it can embody more effectively; they feel and look much more alive. And the Intervention is progressively ejected from their space (What happens Internally when we start to Infuse Soul?).
12 Specifics of what you can do
Here are 12 summarised specifics I've found really do work:
- Develop an open, trusting and empowering relationship where you're constantly encouraging your child to develop their own truth.
- Help to point things out and educate, but don't stand on a soap box and preach - that's just likely to close them down and removes personal responsibility.
- Work on yourself in any difficult engagement: feel into your own tightness, your own reactionary outbursts; come from a softer more objective essence.
- Meditate frequently in the home: this helps dissipate dissonant vibrations in which this Intervention thrives.
- Without preaching, be the shining example yourself. Improve your diet and when questioned, THEN express the benefits of a healthy diet.
- Keep your home space as free from clutter as possible; unplug electrical items; use ethernet cables in preference to wifi, switch of standbyes and mobiles - it'll all contribute to greater energetic harmony.
- establish effective gaming/screen time boundaries with your kids that they contribute and agree to.
- Encourage other physical sports and plenty of time in nature. It gets them more into the body which helps the infusion of soul.
- It's all too easy to immediately chastise our children for the things we perceive they do 'wrong'. It creates all manner of self worth issues. Always try to find positives in their behaviour and if you do chastise, try to salute their positive attributes first.
- In the early teens, invite them to do chores around the house. It get's them more into the body and builds respect for the energy of their space. Many will likely resist, but don't forcefully insist; instead tie it into something positive such as linking it with increasing freedom that comes with responsibility.
- If your kids don't want to talk and tell you what's going on in their lives, don't try to force them to open up, they'll just wise up and feed you what you want to hear. Be open and available. They'll talk in their own time.
- Become the solid, emotionally dependable rock within their lives. Even if in their teenage years they become more distant, nevertheless be solid, open and available.
It's a challenge we all chose to confront
So in summary, its a great challenge for sure. Nevertheless it's a challenge we manifested for ourselves - so we need to accept it and get on with the job. It's about where "the One" in us, bites too much onto the proverbial apple, and gets lost in it. Through ourselves and our children, we're finding the healthy boundaries within the physicality; of just how hard and far we can push, but without losing our divine connection.
Sometimes, encouraged by the intervention, our kids will push too far. That's where we need to be on the sidelines as a shining example of connection - a solid rock in their lives. Working on ourselves then, trying to be the best 'us' we can be, will provide the best possible example of the way forwards.
We have to trust that by being the best 'us', we'll encourage our kids to be the best 'them'. And we'll kick the intervention into touch in the process. Finally, remember, these are incredible kids. Society does not understand them and the intervention fears all that they came here to be - which is why they've created the bogus psychiatric labels for their increased sensitivity. This amazing generation of souls came here to explore, but then throw off their mantel of Intervention, so that they could thrive in the fullness of who they are, despite the distractive density. They are the new leaders, here to break down society and usher in a new way of being. We can help establish boundaries yes, but above all, we need to empower them to find the New Paradigm inside themselves.
That's exactly what they came to do. Personally, I feel deeply motivated to help them be all they can be...
In loving support
Open
(Publishers - please publish with links intact and the Openhand brief biog. Thankyou <3)
About Openhand Openhand is a unique approach to spiritual evolution: integrating enlightened wisdom of spiritual masters through the ages, it is a way of tapping into the Benevolent Guiding Consciousness of the Universe and aligning with it in your life. It helps you unveil your True Self, remove karmic blockages and unfold your Divine Destiny. It leads to authentic, resilient and truly successful living. Join us...Openhandweb, Openhand fb, Openhand TV
Working past the Intervention:
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Children
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For a long time , the opposing consciousness tried to weaken me by many ways, especially through finances, unemployment and unbelievable difficulties. Once I became aware of this energy and got rid of my blind spots, I resolved the survival issues. However, lately I noticed that this time my son, who is 15 years old is targeted to affect me in a negative way. He was a very social, confident child. In the last three months, for no reason, he developed a social anxiety disorder and he keeps telling me that he wakes up tired in the morning from seeing too many dreams at night. He feels very uncomfortable going out to crowds.
I think that for those who are not awake and aware and are not in control of their own body, thoughts, and actions, they have become prime targets for the puppet masters to act through their bodies in order to affect those who can no longer be triggered. Has anyone experienced this with their close ones around them? How can I help my son? Thank you for any answer.
most important expression
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Wow! What a thread. I have been wanting to write about this topic for some time and missed this until now. So much that was said resonates. I am in the latter years of my life. My children are adults in their late 20s and I am a currently a child & adolescent psychologist. I sometimes pinch myself and laugh at the beautiful yet painful design of the flow. I was a very unconscious, controlling young mother and made many, many "mistakes" in raising my children. Through the torture of facing my mistakes I woke up. Open you said it beautifully...something along the lines of the soul being forged in adversity. My son has been my greatest teacher. For many years I tried to shape him into what I thought was a "good" citizen and even after becoming a psychologist and my awakening I still did not accept him. I was one of those mothers that sent him light and love. As I walked my own journey, infusing soul....helped incredibly by Openhand, I began to understand acceptance at profoundly deep levels. I had learned to recognise his journey was his own but I still had some idea of what that should look like. Slowly, gently and sometimes with huge bursts of rage I began to accept him as he is and not only accept him but love and honour him and his path. There is no doubt in my mind that he is one of those souls that came to "shake this matrix" up. Open, I've been blessed to work on this with you and others from Openhand. I have reached such a free place now and while we don't "hang out" a lot we have a deep mutual love that stretches across eons. In my work with children and families I use the same model you describe above. My heart cracks open daily as I have the privledge of guiding parents to authentially connect with their chidlren in open meaningful ways. I see the young and teenaged "star souls" and burst with joy when I get to tell them there's nothing "wrong" with them...they're gifted...everyone else has it wrong. I have not yet had a parent or child deny this fact to be true. It's absolutely liberating and empowering and I am grateful every day of my life for that part of my work.
the area I struggle with...where I leak energy...where I need guidance is that I am not fully using what I know to be true...how the OC and entities can destroy the soul's expression...mess them up, cloud their wisdom, lead them astray. I am still working within a system that requires a label and sometimes medication (although this is always the last resort in my work). Sometimes the parents or teens will go that route despite my encouragement not to, because functioning in the matrix is the holy grail. This part of my work is challenging. I have come far enough to know the path for me will unfold...as I infuse soul I will know how to "be" with these children, teens and parents. Trusting the flow and getting out of my head is the "way" for now. Always open to higher wisdom. :) I am filled with deep gratitude for this thread and community. Love to all. Joann
Loved the video.
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I just wanted to say I thought the video was wonderful. I remember being 'labelled' when I was a kid and I hated it as I just felt judged. (I also felt it served to make me even more determined to be myself rather than what other people wished me to be).
I have occasional contact with a little boy who lives in a house where the telly is on all the time and although only 8, has a mobile phone, tablet, etc. I remember watching him playing a violent zombie x box game (along with crisps and coke) when he was only about 4 and how uncomfortable I felt. It wasn't only what he was being exposed to but also being aware of my own 'judgement'. Now he comes to stay with me sometimes and we swim, we walk, we talk, we make up stories, we plant seeds, we watch the clouds, we play marbles, he helps me prepare meals, we see what unfolds and he doesn't mention telly at all. I do my best to meet him, just where he is, and show an alternative. As you say Open, it's not about reading them the riot act or using words like 'should' or 'shouldn't'.
I believe we all share in the responsibility for the next generation and can all contribute in our own way as and when we can to help our children break free.
Elizabeth x
Fantastic!
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Hi Open and all,
My first post here.
I read, and gain greatly from, much of what is posted here though I have not yet felt to contribute with my own words.
What an amazing sensitive and pertinent article.
It has often been the case that Open has written about something that is directly relevant, at that moment, to my little world and placed it in the wider spiritual evolution context.
I do not have kids myself, though I have been (and still am although we are separated in space) a step father to a few.
I have nephews and nieces who I am very keen to guide through the confusion.
My own teen years were very difficult, as I am quite sure my Mum n Dad would verify!
This coming weekend I am taking my niece, Lauren 14 and nephew Alex 9, to Londinium for the weekend.
I have been thinking about how things will go.
The things I should do and be for them
This article is perfect.
Thank you so much, Open.
Nail. Head. Again.
Lots love, all.
Rich.
Holding a non-judgmental space for our kids
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- But it needs awakened people to help them in a way society has tended not to help the young: to be open and understanding. Not to project our objectives, desires, needs and fears onto them; to trust that their light will shine a path, even if we can't immediately see it; to encourage, to motivate, to support and above all, hold the space for. This is the most powerful thing we can do for these kids.
- Firstly, projecting love and light is a judgment. It's saying "I can't accept you as you really are". In effect, subconsciously, it's saying "You're not good enough as you are". In fact this 'love' is very conditional love and not love at all. It's making him feel worthless because he senses he'll never match that which is projecting the feeling. It's an impossible mountain he can't climb (because it's fake and put on anyway).
Thank you for this
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I'm walking the path by my nephew who has been a gamer for many years.
He also lives in a home of many crashing currents and, I blelieve has abilities that are unseen or conceived of by the perception of school or the frame of the family.
In walking-talking terms he is, by the world's measure, dis functioning and around him is a mounting panic, fear and desperation about his future.
The bottom line fear, when one of his peers has recently committed suicide, is that when he finds no more wriggle room he will feel that desperate.
I try to hold an Openspace for him. I feel the fear of his desperation, of his reaction to being cornered by the consequences of his actions and I feel indignation at how he has been mistreated and I feel a connection to something finer that has not been recognised; At the same time, there is a slippery illusive energy, like a thick grease that illudes traction at times.
So far I've found the way to keep a line to him is to be still and solid, roll with some of the times he's not present n sit for the moments he comes toward me.
And yes, I feel the fear of him spinning into free fall - and in this the pain of loneliness and desolation and desperation.
I had not seen it as the net of opposing consciousness until I read your article.
It's like a net that's been around him so long it incases him and he's grown around it like a tree grows around a wire fence.
Lots to work with, to open into.
Thank-you Open :)
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I share many of your thoughts and way of being on my FB page :).
Journeying with Kids
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It resonates for me that children are protected and connected more fully with higher consciousness and perhaps less susceptible to Opposing Consciousness up until the age of about 10 and 11. I think that at this age they then feel strongly a sense of separation, confusion, frustration and for us as parents and for them, within this dense, unclear world it can feel completely woahhh! And so we embark on a new tangent of our paths and journey to feel our way through to find the truth and invitation within it. A path both difficult and joyously rewarding and everything in between and sometimes all of that within just one day!
My children are 11 and 12 it is tangible how OC moves between them and their friends when they come over and then I get caught up it in too. I feel OC presence more stongly than ever at the mo and also feel Benevolence more strongly too.
My son wanted a lego set recently, we talked about how he might raise some money and thought it might be nice to try 10 day sponsored no tech period it comes at the same time as we agreed to try new and healthy food and the difference in him is amazing he notices it himself too, which is heart melting and of course OC have less threads / vibes to come in on.
I find it helps raise their energy when asking to help with little tasks around the house, having awareness of the difference in energy between a tidy bedroom and like Greenpeace say feeling a part of our planet, even in small ways like recycling, makes a difference bringing a feeling of belonging and a sense of purpose which is uplifting and connecting.
My son goes to a mainstream school in the middle of an energetically dense housing estate and came home the other day saying he thinks his teacher is spiritual as she was talking them through releasing negative energy, BC is shining through :-) It has a profound affect on them when they hear about spirituality from other sources other than myself, it seems to give it more credence for them :-)
I had a light bulb moment recently as to why they resist meditation / spirituality and it was because I was suggesting it always as a way of helping / improving a particular scenario, hence for them it seemed to demand change and it didn't accept, this shift has allowed me to honour their journey and recognise that they themselves must choose change, until then I hold a space and as Open says become their rock.
I recently 'downloaded' a vision for workshops, in which I was working with teenage boys. Beautiful content, in a space where each person feels completely accepted, a place where they do not NEED to change but where they can explore truth, understanding energy, thought preceding physical and a higher perspective. I have put the first steps in place to see if this wants to flow and again feel the hand of benevolence.
I love the video clip - beautiful :-) Love the article, so many tangents to bring awareness to. What an honour.
With gratitude for this beautiful journey xxx
It's their journey too
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I was out walking tonight and just had this bit of clarity about how parenting has changed for me. At some point I stopped feeling like it's all up to me... That it's all on me to protect them from these influences, to keep them healthy, to make sure they are happy. I have come to a point where I know they have their own journey and I can offer guidance and support, listen, be present. In the end it comes down to me being me as fully as possible... And letting them do the same. Seeing what they are showing me about myself and pointing to their own experience of things. As hard as it initially was to let go of being able to orchestrate some perfect existence for them, it has been incredibly freeing to know we are here together walking our own paths and for a time living together where we are given to establish ways of living that work for us all and to learn and grow. The ray 4 you mention above Open does feel key and the way that it seems to bring in varying balances of ray 1 and 2 depending on the chemistry of the moment. And for me if there is anywhere the ray 1 has been strongly invited it is here!!! But Thats because I have more of a natural ray 2 Nature I guess =) Thanks all for the exploration!! This is an incredible article that it will keep coming back to!! Jen
What is the truth at the heart of control?
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As we say here at Openhand, at the heart of every distortion is a truth; find the truth and express it, then the distortion peels away.
So what is the truth at the heart of control?
My experience is that it's being able to read the path of Right Action and being a channel for that to happen - being able to manifest the path of the future landing now (Manifesting Miracles with White Magic).
But we must also remember, as the stream flows down the mountain, it may strike many obstacles and have to accommodate many different densities at different twists and turns along the path. So it's course may have to change, even though it's ocean destiny remains unchanged.
So don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Instead, allow creativity to flow. Allow the visions of the future to come in (as long as you're not intentionally manifesting that is). Set the boundaries within interactions if you feel given to.
But always be soft and flexible to the possibility of change. And when you get tight within, work into that tightness.
Apply maximum use of the ray 4: don't compromise your truth, but compromise how you apply it... The ray 4 Diplomat
And remember, if you lose it, as you inevitably will from time to time, don't fluster, don't flap. Let yourself become calm again as quickly as possible, then simply hook up to the flow again. Certainly don't dwell on errors beyond having learnt from them.
The control will unravel itself, you'll keep flowing to the ocean. And all will be well!
Open
Control issues and tightness
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Its really inspiring to read your experiences and your honest feelings Kim and Jen. And I really relate, especially to the need to control and reacting angrily.
My daughter can be extremely particular and strong headed, and often doesn't listen as she is in her own little world. This triggers a lot of tightness in me, and I often act unconsciously with anger. Unfortunately, she is still a little too young to ask her questions about consequences. I also have to deal with the fact that it is normal in Austria to give children sweet things regularly throughout the day, and it often means that she gets a lot of sugar and not so much nutrition.
It seems like a slow journey sometimes, but I'm gradually beginning to drop the need to outwardly control these situations, although they still make me tight inside. I hope i can process it all properly while the kids are still young. Keep at it eh?
Richard
Pain of letting the physicality In
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Control sure shows up in a multitude of ways...I notice more and more my escape mechanisms...which is also control. It gets noisy or chaotic and I put on my headphones and disappear from what is happening or eat something really dense and heavy or drink some wine to not feel so sensitive. It feels for me also to be a monumental task to break through this...for me to be in the physicality and not shy away from it, run from it, hide from it, control it, quiet it down. My boys are like constant crashing titans, banging into each other and rolling all over the house for the fun of it and it literally paings me...it's so hard to be in it, not try to change it but also to find right resolution for all of us to live in this house together. It's important for me to allow them to express their rough and tumble side but also to honor what works for me as well. Greatest gift! Right? Perfect scenario to push all my buttons at once haha. Kim - you ARE breaking through it...as we both are...seeing it and working with it. As you said....just keep working with it. Much love, Jen
Mountain of control
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Hi Open,
Working with control is a big one for me. The anger comes from this but it does arise much more subtly which I really have to pay attention to in order to catch it. My oldest daughter had a big break down the other day feeling very controlled and expressing that everyone expects her to "go down this path with walls on either side" but she feels like it is not the path for her and that no one understands her. It brings up a lot for me, how I felt at that age, powerless and alone. I remembered getting sore throats and strep numerous times as a kid. Now I can see that it came from not expressing. We talked about working together to break this pattern of control that is so strong within our family. I encouraged her to keep letting me know when she is feeling this as I can miss the aspects of my controlling nature that are so ingrained in me. At times it seems like a monumental task woven into so many layers of myself, I wonder if I can ever break through the control. I will just keep working with it.
Thank you for the support.
Kim
Stop, locate the tightness and soften into it
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Great that you've all shared guys. Thanks for the support.
Yes rage and anger is a key one Kim. But it can also be much more subtle too. Anytime we might feel control of controlling, this energy can be drawn in through the dimensions.
These are some of the telltale signs then - when we can't accept reality the way it is, when we need it - or people - to be doing something other than they are. But if we can catch ourselves in the moment we're doing it, then we have the possibility to change. We can stop, locate the tightness, and soften into it.
Wishing you all well
Open
Truly the greatest gurus
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I can really relate to this article. I have a 12 year old daughter and it feels like she is just a different person at times. We can often connect at the end of the day and I can feel her soften but lately she is angry, mean and at times aggressive. I find I am always trying to cheer her up but it the controlling aspect in me that she is pushing against. I try to keep encouraging this in her because i see I am doing too much or exerting power over her but I keep pointing out that she can express without shutting me out or becoming overly defensive. It is such a mirror for me as I have this intense anger and often rage at times that I witness inside myself. On the way to school the other day she snapped at her sister and climbed over the seat to attack her. I lost it and could observe my own rage and anger come out at her as I yelled at her to stop. I had to sit with this all day. I could see I was being exactly the same as her just verbally, not physically. I remembered as I was deeply saddened by my behavior something I have seen here and heard Open say recently that "there are not mistakes as long as we learn from them." I am working with these energies within myself and am grateful for the mirrors my children so graciously provide to help me
see. I am still working to "Become the solid, emotionally dependable rock within their lives." This article is full of reminders for me. Thank you!
Just what I needed!
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Wow, what an insightful article. Thank you so much for posting this Open. I observe the affects of opposing consciousness every day in my children, and indeed they know exactly how to push my buttons and affect me too! I will read this article many times until its really integrated into my approach. Indeed I have been feeling for a long time that this must happen. Thank you for giving such a practical approach as a guideline.
Heartfelt thanks and love,
Richard
Powerful!
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Powerful article Open!! My children are absolutely the greatest catalysts on this journey. There is a constant refinement, a constant mirror...working with everchanging energies...being open and accepting and yet providing boundaries...when to be soft, when to be more firm, when to just listen and be receptive without a need to solve or take away their experience, when to ask these empowering questions that you have given examples above. It's so delicate...and constantly shifting. I get it wrong a lot, end up in frustration or slip into to control or fear, or even let too much go at times. These children are incredible...they show me who I am every day. Yesterday, my daughter, who feels like a wise ancient teacher of mine, said to me "mom, I have this constant burning fire inside of me, right in my belly and it feels like a dragon" I asked her how does this dragon express in your life...she shared that it sometimes comes out as anger and frustration and sometimes it is my imagination, my creativity" ...just blew me away, the depth of knowing that she carries and like you said Open, they won't be told...she will burn through every limitation, every boundary that she perceives. It's been a constant giving space, giving room for her to bring herself fully in and a powerful mirror for where I am not coming fully in. Just unbelievable!! Thank you for these incredible insights...many of these I have gleaned from your workshops and writings and have seen powerful changes in our family.
Much love and appreciation,
Jen
So valuable
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An absolutely outstanding article.
Thank you Open, for writing these accessible and relevant-to-everyday-life pieces.
The insights into the bigger picture that surrounds so many people's questions around "Why is life so challenging?" is just so valuable.
Deep gratitude.
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