Hello Open,
First of all I would like to thank you for this open space in which everyone can support each other during their spiritual emergence. I am so grateful to have found this page in particular since I experienced something and began to doubt my sanity, yet when I found this page, I realised that it is a part of our consensual reality.

In this life I have always struggled with 'connections' or friendships - it's almost as if I'm this floating person who observes life from afar and sees all the games - that's why I write. I chatted with my housemates about this and they said that a 'likeable' person is easy going. I just don't think it's that simple - I just think that we all have different purposes - I mean if Einstein was a socialite, he wouldn't have been coming up with theories would he? However, I know that making connections is deeply important for my soul - I don't make many connections, (I usually get a sense with people if it is worth my time/energy from the first glance) however the connections I do make I feel deeply, as if there might be some kind of past life connection even. I do remember one particularly powerful vision I received from spirit - it explained that everyone I met and interacted with were part of my journey back to spirit.

These days I feel like my pool of friends are diminishing rapidly. Friends don't bother replying to me - I'm starting to feel like a ghost. I've noticed Jeanette's post above - is it another test?

The other thing is that I recently experienced a psychic attack - my housemate is into esoteric wisdom and is very keen to ascend, she seems very powerful psychically. One night before bed, I felt her presence inside me, it was as if she was trying to take over my third eye. At one stage I felt as if I wasn't sure who I was anymore. Losing control over myself taught me an important lesson - that I am so grateful that I am in control over this body and where I place my attention. It was another lesson, a painful lesson, yet it served its purpose. I know sense this lady quite regularly, appearing in my field without invitation and I am trying the techniques suggested of observing without judgement and also repeating over and over "I am love, I am returning to love" and then I feel her disappearing. At my latest qi gong class I was also attacked by a lady right at the beginning of the class - I knew how it would work - I would be spending the whole class thinking of this woman, sending my energy to her instead of to my body for healing. In the end when I meditated, I tried to observe her without judgement and again repeated "I am love" and she began to leave, yet only after I had been exhausted throughout the whole class. THe lesson I learnt from this was that now I really appreciate that I get to choose where I place my energy and I want to get to a place where I don't have to have it stolen, that I can make the decision about where I place my energy. I am accepting that I might occasionally be thrown of balance, but I am getting better and better at being able to divert my attention from a demander. I am doing this by turning gaze with out generating any thoughts and saying to myself 'relax and wait for inspiration', trying to carry on as normal if you like. It is hard, but I feel that I'm getting better at it, as I remember that it has nothing to do with me, yet is just a technique used to gain my energy.
I just wanted to share this because I do not have anyone to talk to about this kind of thing and I am finding this forum very helpful.
Thank you,
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