I am happy that you liked my poem. This weekend truly was one of the best of my lifetime! I learned so much (I am still processing some of it) and I am so grateful for the lovely space, the soulful and enriching people and for the entire process! I thought, however, that I might get on here and share some of the challenges that I am facing...I feel like it might help to be vulnerable about our experiences and share them so that others might benefit and, in the process, we might learn from one another even further (all of us Openhanders across the world;)).

Anyhow, a rather unfortunate incident is that my boss' mom is dying in the hospital and I was called to return to Seattle, rather than go to South Carolina to help. This had me feeling uneasy as I prefer to honor my commitments. I realize, however, that everything happens for a reason and that the challenge was to attempt to unwind my attachment to this "uneasy" feeling I get when circumstances prohibit me from doing what I said I would do...to discover why I am so attached to these feelings even when it is beyond my control.

At the airport, waiting for my flight, I practiced what we learned and settled into the feelings, attempting "presence" with them and not "trying" to find a "reason" why I was called home. I asked "show me" instead. After the meditation and the breathing it became very clear that my boss needed me to be here for her and her family (it is a family owned company) and I would most likely be able to honor my commitment to our Clubhouse in South Carolina at some future event. The next challenge, however, was to try and let my attachment of that possibility go.

I have found, over the last 24 plus hours, that the attachments to my feelings are abundant and having "presence" is a lot more challenging in the "real world". The one thing that I keep holding onto, with each new challenge (having to fire someone that is a great employee that came to work drunk, having to tell my family that I am not prepared to talk about my trip and that I need time to process everything before I can do that, not immediately responding to multiple demands of my friends and family, etc.) is "what will serve the highest good (for all concerned, including myself)".

The second "thought" that consistently comes to mind is "don't be attached to the outcome; allow your higher self to lead you to know what the highest good is that you can contribute with the "knowledge" you have and don't "future trip" on the outcome...as a matter of fact I find that I can be led to do what I can and then completely "leave" the situation to unfold as it should without my "needing to know" or "needing it to go the way I hope it will or think it needs to".

I hope I am making sense and I hope that I got some of what this process is...I would love any feedback, additional teaching and/or advice that will help me continue this path as, even though it is challenging, it feels amazing to have the presence when it comes and to step forward from said presence without having a stake in it or looking back to "make sure", etc.

I bought the e-books and think that reading them will help remind me, because the "real world" is a bit overwhelming at the moment and I learned so much...the most important thing, however, is that you gave us the tools and I am using them :)

Namaste,

Aphroheidi

"This light of mine is your reflection"