Hi,

It's really inspiring and moving what someone shared. Thank you for sharing.

I would like to share a few things I'm going through. During my daily meditation this morning I came up with a sudden thought along with other disturbances that I came back to the cage again. A cage of controlling dramas, TV noises, quarrels ,cold wars and judgements ,where it's hard to feel our beingness. And I felt really sad about that. I could feel a veil of sadness covering me. The question I asked myself was if I know its a cage why did i create this in the first place? I can see fears associated with it now.
The other disturbance i felt made me hard to meditate. I was seeing a lot of things which makes no sense ( movie scenes I guess) kept flashing on my third eye. At the end of this all, I felt to go out. Then my mind started questioning like "to where?" There is no such place around here to go and sit peacefully. You are wasting your time and energy. Ok..whatever it is I'm going out. While I'm out I could see that a part of me struggling to walk. A reluctance to travel without purpose or intentions.
Anyway, I could see my desire to be in a peaceful nature place with a few people of similar vibe.

I have observed myself avoiding people including my father of the fear of being judged/manipulated/controlled?I won't say it's 100% fear, I think 50% i don't feel to engage with and 50% fear? Whatever it is, If i do not communicate How do I recognise people who can resonate with me?And there is also a feeling that I'm being unconscious at some points in my relationship with my father? Im enquiring that and it feels there is a lot to dig up.

It feels really good to be here at openhand even if I feel disconnected sometimes.Thank you all🙏