True to oneself in the face of expectation
In reply to We communicate beyond the words 😇 by Open
Comment
Open said,
| "When you dare to step out and express soul, then others around you will often judge and try to undermine. It's actually because they feel threatened by your light. And also, there's understandable doubt that they could actually comprehend what you're experiencing" |
This is profound and true. It explains the experience I had yesterday and something I experienced today as well. Yesterday, at the peak of the pain, I realized something: It was about an aspect of compassion. It's exactly what's expressed above: daring to embody and express the light would mean that I would threaten others around me, and it was something hard to bear and accept. The intellectual can come with all sorts of arguments: "Oh, but you are honoring their soul and challenging the ego, but when it comes to embodied experience, it's a different story." I had some spontaneous, illuminating, and beautiful experiences that shed light on it a little more.
Today, after getting inspired by Asya's video, I went to a river close by to meditate and shoot a video. After a while, I could see two boys swimming and enjoying themselves in the river. Though I had fear of water bodies, my soul pulled me to join them. And we had a great time, swimming, and playing games, and I could feel them as innocent, loving boys. It's beautiful what a spontaneous heart pull can bring. They invited me to the nearby temple to join the festival and have lunch. Though I had an aversion to temples, I joined them. In the temple I found myself playing my song for a few boys there. I could feel a tension in the solar plexus. At the time, for some reason, it didn't cross my mind that I could have been feeling them. There was no reason for me to be tense in playing for them. Except, a part of me wanted to be seen in a particular way. This is where I could have been crossing my boundaries. The next thing, I know, I'm playing on the mic for the entire group of people who gathered there. I could feel the expectation. They probably wanted me to play the songs they recognize, but I went there and played my songs about freedom and light. How to be oneself, even in the face of expectation? This was no Goa or Dharamsala, but a remote village in South India! It was an interesting experience nonetheless! But the tightness I picked up stayed for a long time, even after I returned home, and I had to do some toning to clear it off!
Vimal 
