Dear Open,

I have been busy since just the day before Christmas as my very star-seed child has decided she wants to stay with me and not her father . I took her along to my 25 year old medical school reunion which was also a reconnection with some wonderful friends.

This is after I seperated last year and along with the tonnes of stuff I was processing ,"losing" my only child had been the most difficult. In a span of a year ,with zero manipulation or discussion from my side ,this teenager saw through the drama beautifully. She is now back with me and it is so beautiful interacting with her. Without needing to soften what I recognise were pretty toxic circumstances with her Dad ,I am able to be myself with her and vice versa. She is such a light ,it's a pleasure to have her company .

Her arrival has prompted my landlord to ask me to leave . So I am now in the midst of moving as well ( from a flat numbered 406 in Tower 1,to 203 in Tower 7 - the numerology is interesting :))

I am also dealing with supporting my Mom as she negotiates a knotty land deal with integrity and a move away from this city .My relationship with her had been sketchy from my teens and yet there has been much reconciliation in the past few months as I have learnt to speak my truth and draw boundaries despite her domineering/ controlling tendencies . We are very heartfully connected now and I understand her as she does me so much better.

This feels very much like karma is being dissolved . The land deal is of my departed father's ancestral land . Again feels very, very karmic .

Shifts all around in the 3 D sense are upon me .

I am often overwhelmed with these massive changes around me in living circumstances and relationships . Through this I have been tapping into my masculine . Learning to be steadfast and strong despite the multitude of day to day challenges being thrown at me .

I am trying to ,through this storm,stay centered within. Ironically ,I am the primary emotional support for many through this period of transition . In that too I am being careful to be crystal clear about my boundaries and discerning where I am giving my energy .

I am also learning to channel my authentic anger into creativity rather than self blame. . Again ironically I am in a very supportive relationship with a man at the moment. And he seems to have been propelled on a massive journey fraught with disillusionment in relationships as a result of our connection. Again keeping boundaries and allowing people their lessons .

It's the best of times and the worst of times . I pause and breathe several times a day. As also DANCE. As also shake with anxiety . And become a puddle of grief. I feel like I am living several lifetimes at the same time.

Open,you said something about how parents wanting to protect their kids keeps l them and the children in limbo . And I can feel that is what I was doing unconsciously earlier . Those lines written around the New Year were tremendously evocative for me .

Just sharing my journey . It's a particularly fast paced one right now ,with each day bringing its own challenges .

I wish everyone in the Openhand community a transformative journey in 2023 !

Megha