I have been following Open's daily postings on what everyone is working on in the Transfiguration, and doing my part...after the lovely ah-ha of recognizing the karmic Separation, I focused on the child/teenager. I didn't really want to but with the help of some dragonflies and the tell-tale scat of a black bear I went in...what came up was Need for Approval and then a kind of movie "this is your life": events, moments I had forgotten and buried; even an old childhood mantra: "in time this will mean nothing, in time this won't hurt". In every flashback there was the yearning for Approval. I didn't cry, I just felt yucky. It was while I was mucking stalls that evening that I made the connection of Separation leading to the need for Approval.

The next day I read Open's words: The Intervention. Now I have read those words many times from Open's books, but when I read those words that day, I became as tight as a tick. It happened in nano seconds. And the anger that sprung up was intense. I kept reminding myself to surrender, and that would last a minute, and bam, right back into anger. I walked in the fields trying to release it, my meditations which normally are wondrous were unsettling and unclear. I felt trapped in a body coffin of anger and rage. Who is this person? By the time sunset came, I felt like I was living in heavy, icky slime (the kind of slime from food processing as it goes into extrusion). And then a hummingbird appeared; I heard him before I saw him, the tell-tale sound of those whirring wings. And I knew then that a breakthrough was coming. Just realizing that, helped start to loosen the casings of anger.

In the synchronicity of all that is, the following morning, I went into meditation asking for help. I was led by a fox to a snow cave where an old being (who morphed back and forth from male to female form) and was dressed as a Tibetan sat at the back of the cave in front of a fire. He/She invited me to gift my childhood feelings into the fire; he/she invited me to pour my anger into the fire. So I did, and it was easy, effortless, freeing. And then we danced and I could now make out cave symbols on the walls and as I focused on that, everything suddenly changed, and I was among sandstone and statues of giant heads were falling, temple columns were falling. Just as quickly I was back in the snow cave and the fox lead me out into the mountain winds.

When I came out of meditation, feeling calm, and centered, I went to the Open website to read the next installment of the Transfiguration. And there was that video about fire...

Catherine's posting was yet another link in the chain: Separation leading to Need for Acceptance, all brought about by the Intervention, which I did nothing to prevent. I have no feelings or identity yet with anything I was "supposed" to do, but I know I did nothing. I stood back. I contributed to the Intervention with passivity.

Strangely, I don't feel guilty as much as I feel emboldened. Right the wrongs. Light a light. Be the fire.

This morning I was awoken before dawn by a tightness around my upper back and solar plexus. At first I thought it was a muscle strain, but when I explored it, I realized it wasn't muscle at all. Something was squeezing me tight. It felt like a burrowing between my shoulder blades into my solar plexus, and then wrapping itself around the whole area. It was not one of my snake allies. I stood up, stretched, shook my arms and upper body, crawled back into bed and said, "okay," exhaled, and wouldn't you know it, the energy began to let go and unravel itself from me. My first reaction was WOW, and then I couldn't help myself...I started to laugh. That dark coil of energy dissipated pretty quickly.

I have gotten so much out of everyone's postings on this thread, and the wonderful photos Trinity has posted. Thank you!

tigger

tigger